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Aren't Newlyweds Supposed To Have Sex?

Aren't Newlyweds Supposed To Have Sex?

Dear Sugar
I recently got married, and before our wedding, my husband and I used to have sex all of the time...sometimes twice a day. Even in the weeks leading up to our wedding, we had to restrain ourselves because we wanted to make our wedding night special.

As soon as we got married, the sex just seemed to stop. We didn't have sex on our wedding night and wound up sleeping in two different beds on our honeymoon. We are only having sex once or twice a month, and when we do, it feels forced and awkward. What is wrong with us?

He blames his job, but this is the same job he had for a full year leading up to our wedding. I fear that this distance isn't healthy and that ultimately it could destroy our marriage. What can I do about this? Deprived Denise

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

Dear Deprived Denise
It sounds like there is a lack of communication between you and your hubby. All couples go through some sort of a down cycle from time to time, but this sounds more severe. Couples can recover from sexless marriages but it is definitely a cause for concern. Is this just a symptom of a larger problem?

Feeling stuck in a relationship sans sex can cause feelings of loneliness and confusion. I think it's best to talk about what's bothering you and how you are feeling with your new hubby. Since he is blaming his job, perhaps you both need to take time out of your busy schedules and re-connect. Try getting away together for the weekend without your everyday distractions and see if an escape can jump start the romance back in your marriage.

Communication is the key to any relationship. Perhaps couples therapy would be beneficial to you if you feel your marriage is on the line as this lack of intimacy is most likely masking a deeper problem. Reassure your husband that you love him and want to make this marriage work. Hopefully opening up can put you back on the right track. Good luck.

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