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Ask E. Jean for DearSugar: Is He a Goner?

Dear E. Jean,
On St. Patrick’s day I met an amazing guy in an Irish bar. (Where else?) I was in New York for a business conference —he was in New York shooting a movie. (His first role! He told me he has two scenes.) He walked me back to my hotel (which was in Soho), gave me his number, and told me to call him. We kissed. It was the best kiss — EVER.

The next day I lost my cell phone with his number in it!! Gone. Vanished! I can’t reach him. I don’t know the name of the movie, I don’t know where they are shooting, and here’s the worst part, I don’t know his last name. All I know is that he's the most handsome guy I’ve ever laid my eyes on. Gah! I’m on a plane on Friday and heading back to Atlanta! Please help! — Praying to St. Patrick!

To see E. Jean's answer

Praying, My Delectable Ditz,

Revisit the bar where you met, and stay there. There’s a chance he’ll return (and if he’s Irish, I can confirm he’ll be as loyal to his favorite pub as Bono is to his blue glasses.)

Also contact the Mayor’s Office of Film, Theater & Broadcasting, see what productions are shooting in the city this week (; and then call the production companies. And next time remember these phone rules:
Phone Rule #1
When you meet a man you like, if there are any numbers given out, you will EXCHANGE them.

Phone Rule #2
Don’t punch the numbers into your cell phone. Write them on something UNFORGETTABLE.

Where to write your number:

  1. On his biceps. (And if you don’t make a fuss over your 8’s and 6’s growing “bigger than cantaloupes” when he flexes his muscles, you’re not half as beguiling as I think you are. Ask him to write his number on the inside of your wrist. Very sexy.)
  2. On the windshields of your cars in your Topaz eye shadow. (In New York nobody drives, so write the numbers on the side walk in front of the place you met.)
  3. On your sock. Take off your boot and Sharpie your number on your pink argyle and hand it to him. And ask him to do the same — if he refuses to write on his sock, make him remove his t-shirt.
  4. On a $10. Jot your number on one half, ask him to write his on the other half, and tear it in two. (This is even more memorable if it’s $20.)

Good luck! Let all the Sugar Goddesses know what happens!

To see more advice from E. Jean visit Elle Magazine and

Brooklynbee Brooklynbee 9 years
PunkyPower beat me to it - I was just going to say, Missed Connection!!
PunkyPower PunkyPower 9 years
Why not try posting a missed connection on NYC's craigslist? It certainly couldn't hurt.
kiwishe kiwishe 9 years
I think it's fate that you lost your cell, and that it wasn't meant to happen. Let the great feeling ride out and forget about what unfortunate long distance relationship issues you may have encountered later with him.
kythera kythera 9 years
petite42: What an awesome love story. :D *sigh*
RaCheer RaCheer 9 years
On a sock? Come on now...seriously?!
happiness80 happiness80 9 years
Contact your cell phone company - you should be able to get the number from them.
Marci Marci 9 years
I think a Gonner is supposed to be a GONER. I like E. Jean's ideas to try to track him down. Why not give it a try? One never knows. And I LOVE your story, petite42. :) :)
CaterpillarGirl CaterpillarGirl 9 years
Ahahaha GONNER? not a word. anyway, i am sooooooo sure he is in a film (rolls eyes) which is why he didnt tell you the name of it, just forget finding him.
petite42 petite42 9 years
It still boggles my mind, to this day. NY is a huge city. I do think the universe sometimes conspires in our favor.
SweetPeasMom SweetPeasMom 9 years
What's a gonner?
designerel designerel 9 years
wow that sounds like something out of a movie! i hope her tips were a joke... i don't think i want to exchange socks.
petite42 petite42 9 years
I love the suggestions - how fun! Unfortunately I'm married so forget that. ;-) I will share that 20 years ago I was visiting NYC and I met this awesome guy (happened to be Irish, too) - very similar story, except before we had cell phones! As a rule, I did not give out my own number, but I did take his number. And I lost it. I only knew his first name. Flash forward 8 months later... and I am visiting NYC again. *Completely* different bar, different part of town, etc. And big crowd scene. I run right smack into him, just as I'm leaving the bar, pushing through the crowd..... He says, "OMG - wait one moment, stay right there... and DON'T GO ANYWHERE!" He runs off for a minute - to dump his date - comes back and says, "I've been kicking myself for months for not asking for your name and insisting you give me your phone number too." We ended up having a very memorable weekend before he went back to Ireland.
linb linb 9 years
You know what I would do? Consult an advice columnist. As someone else suggested, I'd call your cell phone company. I know that mine has a backup service that can pull your contacts and other info off of the phone (does not need to be connected to the phone by a cord) and save it on their servers. Your cell phone company may have the same option.
lemassabielle lemassabielle 9 years
I would never waste a 10 dollar bill for someones number. I wouldn't even waste a dollar bill. I guess if it's meant to be it will find a way of happening. I agree that you should go back to the bar or try to see what movies are shooting.
Asia84 Asia84 9 years
Don't feel bad; he was going to be a great Bo*ty Call at best. you act like you ran into Brad Pitt (you know, 10 years ago. BEFORE he met Angelina and started buying kids and being not as sexy as legend tells).
Meike Meike 9 years
Here's a thought. Eventually, his movie show up. Since you don't know the name of the movie, you'll unfortunately have to sift through the movies that are listed as currently in production.
ur_momm ur_momm 9 years
Big Bummer!!! but im a firm believer that whatever is meant to be will be.
Sun_Sun Sun_Sun 9 years
i was so dependant on my contacts on my cell phone as my phone book. and then hubby "accidentally" deleted them. i havent forgiven him since *grr*
beram1220 beram1220 9 years
Look on Myspace, Facebook, Linkedin, all those social networking sites. It is amazing what you can find with a little information.
cvandoorn cvandoorn 9 years
What's the point of this??? There's nothing you can do!
MissJules5x MissJules5x 9 years
call your phone company. If you called him or he called you before you lost your phone they will have a record of the numbers you had contact with.
AnnaLove AnnaLove 9 years
Wait, was this supposed to be funny???
Shopaholichunny Shopaholichunny 9 years
GREAT tips! But, I'm so dependent on my cell phone that's where I store all of my numbers. :D Good Luck hun! Hopefully, you will find him and everything will turn out ok.
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