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Ask E. Jean for DearSugar: How Can I Set The Mood?

Dear E. Jean,
I’ve been seeing a sweet guy for almost two-and-a-half months. He’s a virgin, I’m not. I’m wondering how I might set up a romantic evening for him and his first time. We both have very busy schedules and never have a lot of time together.

We’ve talked about doing this, and he’s said that he wants me to be his first. But WHEN? I’m getting impatient! I want to know how to get him away from work and give him a night he’ll never forget. Can you help me? — Waiting impatiently

To see E. Jean's answer

Waiting, my Wankette,

LORD! Threatening to “give” your innocent lamb “a night he’ll never forget” is enough to petrify the most dissipated sex punk.

Best to take your time. Introduce him to kissing, touching, stroking, palpating — above and below the equator. If he’s embarrassed about his physical dimensions/prowess, going slowly will build his confidence and his studliness (unless he’s simply not hot for you — or gay).

Then one day, when he least expects it, rent a fireapple red convertible and whirl him away for a Sunday in the country. After a little high speed driving and a slow stroll down a nature walk, stop at a quaint Inn for a late lunch. And if you happen to decide over desert to take a room — well, so much the better. You can “make him a man” on a quilt! Nothing scary about a quilt.

Or, hell. If you’re too busy, just send the nervous little bugger to me. I’ll whip him into shape with my daily top-secret “pre-coital” calisthenics. Then, while he is still twitching with anticipation, I’ll Fed-Ex him back to you.

P.S. I offer this service to women around the world. Send ALL your panic-stricken, discouraged, and moderately frozen fellows to me!

To see more advice from E. Jean visit Elle magazine and

AshleyMay84 AshleyMay84 9 years
I love love love E. Jean! So fabulous!
bangs bangs 9 years
I agree with that!
Poster-of-a-Girl Poster-of-a-Girl 9 years
I would hate the idea of a set up of fancy dinner and whatnot. Too much pressure. I say just tease the man into a frenzy every time you see him until he can't take it anymore. If there is enough heat between you two, he'll know when he's ready and it will be perfect no matter where and when it is ;)
cjmara805 cjmara805 9 years
Here's some better advice:
terrormisu terrormisu 9 years
WOOOAH. Dating two months and you're already anxious to kick your pants aside? Did it occur that maybe he DOES want to lose his virginity to you, but not so damn soon into the relationship? Losing your virginity is a big deal to some people. Maybe you should respect that.
redegg redegg 9 years
WTF. Sounds like E. Jean is going to need a value pack of condomns.
MisterPinkNoTip MisterPinkNoTip 9 years
Don't put him on the spot. A time when he's relaxed is good. Maybe after you watch a game or a movie he selects. Also, try hanging out at his place maybe. He'll probably feel more comfortable there. I wouldn't make a big deal out of it. I really think candles are a bad idea. Also, make the first move by kissing him, etc., btu don't go too far. Let him decide when its time.
heineken67 heineken67 9 years
Umm, that was odd. Anyway... He'll come to you when he's ready. I don't think you should put him on the spot with a surprise hotel room or lingerie. He knows you're up for it and that's enough. You don't want to give him performance anxiety.
Meike Meike 9 years
Yes, you feel impatient but it is really his decision when he feels ready. He is the virgin after all. Just because he's a guy doesn't mean his first time would not be as sensitive as issue as it would be for a girl. No one should be rushed into this situation. So, just take it nice and slow.
LeeshaMichelle12 LeeshaMichelle12 9 years
wow can we say worst advice ever? yea we all have the $$$ to whisk someone away in a convertible. geez...lets not ask e.jean anymore questions
treva treva 9 years
Maybe Im the odd one out here, but the idea of coming over to a place made up all special for the "big occasion" makes me cringe.. Im sure the guy is already nervous enough about the whole thing and the last thing I'd want is to feel pressured into doing it THAT night.. because you didn't light candles and make dinner so you could just watch a movie right?? I would just let it happen spontaneously, whenever he is comfortable too. I think your continued patience will help him feel relaxed and that there isn't a huge pressure to perform on the spot on a specific night. Especially since he says he wants his first time to be with you, it's already going to be special!! Most importantly, have fun!! Good luck!!
Indigo4320 Indigo4320 9 years
Holy mother of milk cow, E.Jean! Are you smoking the devils grass or inhaling illegal substances? Because only someone who is high off their booty would advertise their services and hopes to service young virgin men!!! Boo in my book...take a nap, feel better and get back to giving decent advice. Okay, I agree with the above. He said he wants you to be his first, so he doesn't sound scared. Wear a lil lingerie...have a little wine and make it sweet and all about him.
Belle1031 Belle1031 9 years
Oh, and remember this is his first time so dont expect the sex to be great and maybe even good. :P
Belle1031 Belle1031 9 years
WOW, E. Jean is scaring me now! I recently lost my virginity and I know how nerve racking that was. Why don't you tell him to go over your place to see a game or something and once he gets there have the place set up really nice with dinner at hand and candles around the place. You have to make the environment mellow and soft so he can get comfortable. If you do this and you feel him funny then maybe its not the right time. Also ask him what he'd like you to do to him. I was a virgin but when I had sex the first time I knew what I wanted my boyfriend to do to me (ex. kiss the neck, go down on me, caress my body, etc.). Just remember to have fun.
Sun_Sun Sun_Sun 9 years
my best friend would be so jealous of u.... she's always wanted to "pop a guys cherry" ahem =P
erratic-assassin erratic-assassin 9 years
ANYWAYS... :akward silence: how about you just suprise him with some sexy lingerie and candles and let him do what he wants to you and if he's not sure WHAT to do with you, then that's when you take control. I dont really know what'll scare him or turn him on/off so just try a lil of everything to his comfort. HAVE FUN!!!
divinelight divinelight 9 years
E. Jean kinda scares me...
Tami715 Tami715 9 years
Strangest. Advice. Ever.
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