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Ask a Pastry Chef: I Lost My Libido!

Conventional Wisdom is a different kind of advice column. Your questions will be answered by people from all walks of life rather than by advice experts. Today, a professional pastry chef will offer her common sense advice. You can submit questions here.

Today's Question:

Dear Pastry Chef,

Recently, I started a new job. After being unemployed almost eight months, this is definitely a major relief. However, I am in the transitioning phase where I am learning a bunch of new things and work is really consuming a lot of my time. At night, I am so exhausted. My desire to have sex is just not there. I want to do it and I hate having to turn my man down or go along with it just because I feel bad. I know many women have libido issues. How can I overcome this? Is this something that I just have to deal with?

Thank you,
Longing For My Lost Libido

To see the Pastry Chef's answer,


Dear Longing For My Lost Libido,

All I have to say is "tell me about it!" As someone who works in a career that equates to manual labor, I definitely know how you feel. After a long day of lifting heavy mixing bowls and running around the kitchen nonstop, it can be challenging to find that second wind when you leave the job. Maybe nighttime isn't the best time for you to "get busy." You might be more energized and pumped up in the morning or after a good workout.


First, I would try talking to your partner — especially since you don't want him thinking it's him turning you off! Then I would try being intimate at different times of the day, other than bedtime. I always feel it's a little more exciting and spontaneous when it's not bedtime. And aren't spontaneity and excitement two keys to a healthy relationship — physical or emotional?

Either way, don't stress it so much. If you're feeling it, go for it; if not, don't ever let anyone force you into it.

Congrats on the new job!

A Pastry Chef

Image Source: Getty
Join The Conversation
janneth janneth 8 years
People, are you kidding? This is really excellent advice, every single word of it.
wednesday_adams wednesday_adams 8 years
This is bizarre.
Angela123 Angela123 8 years
omg why does this column exist?!
Ac2366 Ac2366 8 years
I always go to my local bakery for sex advice. Awesome.
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