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Atheists and Marriage

This post is written by user PinkNC in the TrèsSugar Community group Religions of the World.

Here’s the question: If you’re an atheist and you marry a Christian or any other religion, inside of a church, are you a hypocrite because you went through with the ceremony and vowed under a God you do not believe in?

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wolfcat87 wolfcat87 3 years
I did not marry my husband in a chrch, but he and our families insisted on a priest. I just wanted to go in front of a judge. He treid to use our vows against me in an argument all of once and it did not go well for him since he knew I never agreed with our marriage ceremony. Is it hypocritical to get married in a church? It depends on why you did it, I suppose.
corduroy1 corduroy1 7 years
im actually surprised at the responses in here...not how i expected at all. my boyfriend and i are both atheists (raised christian) and have been wondering how we could get married without using a church. i was married once before, at a JP, and lets just say i will NOT be going that route again. i would just feel weird and phony if we were married in a place we think is so misguided. b1uebunn: im glad to hear of another kind of ceremony i wasnt familiar with before...i will be checking into that for sure. thanks for the info!
lilxmissxmolly lilxmissxmolly 7 years
My dad's an atheist. My mom was Catholic. It was important to her to get married in Church, so my dad did it, and it's working just fine, 22 years later.
b1uebunn b1uebunn 7 years
My husband and I were both raised in Christian families but are now atheists. When we got married, we knew we weren't Christian, but weren't sure yet about God. So we went with a Unitarian ceremony. Now we're full fledged atheists, but I'm so glad we didn't have a Christian wedding.
Pistil Pistil 7 years
I don't think whether God is involved or not determines the legitimacy of the wedding vows.
staple-salad staple-salad 7 years
I don't think marriage is very religious anymore. Sure, it is to the people who are religious, but... With people using it to take away rights from others, and get married in a drive-thru in Vegas only to get divorced the next day... I think it's safe to say that marriage isn't a religious thing anymore unless you make it that.
jessielynn657 jessielynn657 7 years
My issue would be taking part in a religious service that did not believe in. I would never feel comfortable agreeing to be married in a church because it goes against my beliefs. I dont bend my beliefs to anyone, even when forced to go to a church for funerals or weddings I do not stand for the 'word of god'. it is against my beliefs, it is the same to me as condoning murder. now dont get on me for the comparison to murder, it is just something most are against.
KadBunny KadBunny 7 years
Seriously. For one thing, people can write their own vows these days, and even the traditional vows ("To have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part") can be shared by any couple who are in love and committed, believers or not.
runningesq runningesq 7 years
Weffie, I resent being called a hypcrite and a liar. My husband is ..well, not religious, but more so than me and he does believe in God, and we had or ceremony in a non domenational chapel. There were references to God in the ceremony, but it was important to him and important to our families so I didn't have a problem with it
juicebox07 juicebox07 7 years
This topic suits me perfectly. I'm an atheist and my boyfriend comes from a very Christian background. We've talked about marriage before, and I could deal with religion being involved since that's typically how it is and it's important to him. Like #1 said, it's called compromising. #4 - Whether you're religious or not, you're taking a vow that you want to spend the rest of your life with the person you're marrying. How does that have absolutely no meaning?
weffie weffie 7 years
You're a liar, not just a hypocrite. If you don't believe in what you are saying (or who you are saying it to), you are basing your entire marriage on a "vow" which has absolutely no meaning. I wouldn't get married in a church... Marriage is just a legal contract to those who don't believe it's a union under God, I'd rather get married at City Hall than hear religious vows recited by someone who has no faith in their meaning.
Jess8902 Jess8902 7 years
I married an atheist and I'm Christian. The hardest thing is really just trying to raise our kids while being neutral and letting them make their own decisions on religion. I was raised going to sunday school every week and sometimes they go but my husband isn't a fan of it. Compromise is hard. If we weren't so perfectly compatible in every other facet of our relationship it would be alot harder.
KadBunny KadBunny 7 years
My boyfriend and I both come from Christian backgrounds (well he does, my family is Catholic) but he is an atheist and I am agnostic. Yet, we both want to get married. Wholeheartedly. Do we feel like hypocrites? Not really. It may be a religious ceremony but we feel it represents a bond more than anything, as opposed to signing into it, sort of. We want to do it for the symbolism, but I think some part of ourselves also want to do it for our family. :) Either way, maybe we are hypocrites, maybe we aren't, but when I see atheist couples getting married it personally doesn't weird me out at all. I just figure at least for that one day we can all believe in some sort of higher power, be it God or fate or the universe, that two people can find each other in the world and be that happy. But that's just me. Ohh, l'amour. :D
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