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Awkward! A Married Man Asked Me Out on a Date

I've heard variations on this one — the attached guy who gets your phone number and then says he just wants to hang out, as he lets slip he has a girlfriend. The guy who shamelessly flirts while his girlfriend's back is turned. And then there was my case — the married guy who acted single as hell before eventually asking me out for brunch. (Brunch?!)

I had met him at a cocktail party for media people. He was funny, cute, and flirting, so I assumed — single. We exchanged cards, emailed a few times, and then I received an invitation for Sunday brunch. The whole time I had an odd question running through my head: is this a date? (Beware that question, especially if you are on a date. It's your gut telling you something is wrong.)

After we chitchatted, he asked if I wanted to take a walk. It was then that he casually mentioned his wife! (Where was she, I was wondering — would she approve?) I felt creeped out by the whole affair and excused myself to do my laundry. Have you ever been asked out by a man you found out later was attached? How did you react?


Join The Conversation
Evey711 Evey711 8 years
I have a married guy who was introduced to me through a friend because she thought he and I could become friends. He's got the idea we can be more than just friends. I've had to block him from online and ignore his calls and texts, he knows exactly how I feel about everything, I have never held back from the truth, but he is still trying to pursue a physical relationship with me. Talk about a douche...
sugajen sugajen 8 years
I was recently contacted by a guy while a work who was interested in hiring me so I gave him my number and we set up an interview date. At the interview he kept complimenting my looks. Then he sent his only secretary home early. He proceeded to ask very personal questions and touch me. He said he wanted me to be his "friend" and that he was married but she didn't need to know. He even offered me a trip. I left and never returned. Some men are bastards.
Love-and-Sex Love-and-Sex 8 years
RockAndRepublic! :ROTFL:
Gadflea Gadflea 8 years
"Yes, ladies. Remember that it's your fault if a married man hits on you. He's just a douche bag, he doesn't know any better. " maybe it's his parent's fault or ooh ooh SOCIETIES fault. LOL
RockAndRepublic RockAndRepublic 8 years
Yes, ladies. Remember that it's your fault if a married man hits on you. He's just a douche bag, he doesn't know any better.
Gadflea Gadflea 8 years
The dating while being married/unavailable and slipping in the "oh by the way" is pretty damned sleazy. LOL what a douche! But the guy hitting on a chick while on his anniversary with his wife at the table in the same restaurant takes the cake! Talk about ballsy! But hey you never know.......maybe they are into that.... ? As far as flirting goes. I've got to say some of you sound kinda errr...prudish. As a guy in a mostly girl environment (I'm a nurse) I KNOW how women are too. I get complimented in not so discrete ways occasionally, and soooo what it's only as awkward as I make it which is not awkward at ALL. Now of course men are known for taking things to far and getting the wrong idea, so whereas I can just smile laugh it off and make a joke and it stops there, women def. have to watch their behavior for fear of placing wrong signals into our manly moronic monkey brains which are pre-programmed to inseminate the earth. LOL Nice post. Happily married almost 6 years BTW
javsmav javsmav 8 years
Not married, but I met this guy several years ago & we hit it off. He asked me out, we went to this ridiculously romantic restaurant where he confessed to having a girlfriend...but we could still be friends. um, okay. I stayed on the date (stupid, yes, but I lived in Shenzhen China at the time, he lived in Hong Kong, which is where we were that night, and the friends I was staying with in Hong Kong were out for the evening--anywhere else & I would have just gone home). It was friendly at first, but the more he drank it was clear he did not want to be just friends. He's bringing on the cheese and trying to kiss me says that he really feels like there's something between us. I said: yes, there is: your girlfriend!
KimBurnett KimBurnett 8 years
It is terrible but illicit sex is exciting. Monogomy gets boring. This doesn't mean you don't love your spouse. It is not right of course, but isn't it more complicated than black and white? And, even though I sound like LeAnn Rimes, I'm just saying...
death-by-chocolat death-by-chocolat 8 years
Ugh, my manager when I worked at Blockbuster in college. I was innocently oblivious to the thing for awhile, until the other male coworkers started mentioning it to me. After all the flirting he eventually got to straight asking me to "hang out" after hours; he even had me work in the back room when his wife and children came to visit him at work. Noooo thank you!
starbucksaddict starbucksaddict 8 years
Not a married guy, but a guy with a girlfriend. The worst thing was that he pretended to be a really great guy looking for something 'real', but after I texted him to say that I wasn't looking for anything serious like a relationship, he replied with, "Oh me neither, cus I'm already in a relationship. I just want to have some fun. I was just saying that stuff before cus I thought you were the serious type. So do you want to go out on Saturday??". Jerk... I feel really bad for his girlfriend!
angell23 angell23 8 years
This happened with my former landlord, although I already knew he was married. One night I got home to my apartment and there were birds in my apartment. It was 10 at night and my boyfriend was out of town. I didn't know who else to call, so I called the landlord (studio apartment, so I couldn't just shut the birds in a diff room). He came over and chatted while he got the birds out and patched up the window...then told me he found me "very attractive". YUCK! Then, after I moved out of the place to move in with my boyfriend (which he knew) he called me TWICE to ask me out. So creepy!
heatherhas heatherhas 8 years
When I started my last job, there was a guy offered to "show me around the area" and "take me dancing", even though I told him I relocated to be close to my fiance. I found out a month or two (!) later that he was married and had two little girls. He still sent me emails after I left, asking if I missed him. *eyes roll*
janneth janneth 8 years
I know, jocupcake, I feel bad for the wife. The guys can be so phony, too. Their wives may have no idea that they are married to jerks who disrespect them.
jazzytummy jazzytummy 8 years
Three married guys have given me the full court press, and one engaged guy. The married guys are still married, the engaged guy got married, wife cheated on him, got divorced, now is remarried to someone else. And,no, I didn't put out ANY signals, other than being very cute. LOL! I swear, why do people get married...what is the f*cking point?
sprinkibrio sprinkibrio 8 years
Disgusting and inappropriate
mamasitamalita mamasitamalita 8 years
so gross
ang1885 ang1885 8 years
Never happened to me but I've been flirted with while the guy knew I was married. Very strange.
RaCheer RaCheer 8 years
Not a married man...but an engaged man. I felt really bad for his fiancee'.
jocupcake jocupcake 8 years
When I was out at a pub for the very first time on my 21st, a cute guy came up to me and started being really forward while I was ordering my drink. I had noticed that he was sitting with a girl before so I asked him why he was out. He said that he was just chilling with a friend. When the bartender brought me my drink, he turned to the guy and wished him a happy anniversary. Apparently, the guy was out celebrating with his WIFE, and she had mentioned it to the bartender. I was so repulsed that I said the first thing that popped into my head: "get the f***k away from me douchehole". I felt so bad for his wife!
Chouette4u Chouette4u 8 years
"Ugh, one time a long time ago I went out on a date and the guy slipped it in by the end of the date that he's married, but quickly said that he was 'separated from her although she's still living in the same house.' I was like 'Oh.' And I never saw him anymore." Good thing he told you and you didn't end up going home with him! "Oh, don't worry about my wife. She'll stay on her side of the bed while we do our thing!" Honestly, what are some men thinking...
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