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Awkward! New Boyfriend's Mom Adds You on Facebook!

Awkward! New Boyfriend's Mom Adds You on Facebook!

I was chatting with my friend the other day when she told me about a horrifyingly awkward thing that happened to her. She just started dating a new guy, and things were going pretty smoothly until— she found a friend request from his mother waiting for her when she logged onto Facebook!

My friend had never met the mom, and she felt uncomfortable making her first impression through a Facebook page. My friend explained that even though she has nothing to hide on her profile, it didn't feel right accepting. But she also didn't want to offend the mom by rejecting her request.

She spoke to her boyfriend, and he said he wouldn't care if she rejected. As of our conversation, my friend had decided to leave her new beau's mother in friendship-limbo. What would you do?

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dikke-kus dikke-kus 7 years
Muirina. You are funny. Whoa is good. My response to a facebook request like that would be Oh SH**! Now what? I can tell you if I had a teenage son theres no way I would do that unless I wanted to embarrass both of you for some reason. I would leave that thing in limbo. I don't do facebook thank God. The thing is, a boyfriend girlfriend facebook conversation is personal connection. Now mom is sitting there. Sort of like when you're on the couch together then she sits between you with a popcorn bowl. It's a bit innocent and yet its not at the same time. Sorry Moms! I think a red flag is flying here.
Muirnea Muirnea 8 years
Whoa.... That just screams controlling mom that doesn't want to let go of her son. And is very much into his business. You haven't even met the mom and you aren't even official, ("just started dating a new guy"), with the son. If i was dating the guy seriously and not just casually I would run far away, b/c you will always have to deal with his mom, and if she is starting to get into his and your personal business this early, just think how crazy she would be when y'all really do get serious! If the guy was super amazing though, and I really wanted to stay with him and see where the relationship went, I would talk to the guy about what happened. And I would expect him to do something about it. For example, talk to his mom and tell her to back off from his personal life or something. If the guy gave me a response like what was in the original post up there, saying he didn't care what you did but he wasn't going to do anything...I would be running away from him. That kind of response shows he's a momma's boy, who will never give his mom boundaries and will let her control his life. No thank you, I will go find a grown up who can run his own life and have a good distance from his mom. B/c you can love you mom and stay in contact with her without letting her get to involved.
Chouette4u Chouette4u 8 years
"Blocking her seems like a really immature option, and makes it sound like you're too young to be using the internet. " Well maybe you don't care about your privacy, but some people do. I personally would not want my new boyfriend's mom reading what I write on his wall or comments that I write on his pictures, especially before we have even met!. Sure, when you tried blocking your friend, it was obvious, but I doubt his mom would notice since she wouldn't be looking for it. And if she was snooping around enough to notice, all the better reason to not be FB friends with her! I'm not saying that blocking would be the right thing for everyone, it's just what I would do. Obviously you're much older and more mature than me. Maybe one day I'll be cool enough to call people immature in an anonymous comment too!
sparklestar sparklestar 8 years
I would wait until we had met and then confirm her request when I got home. =) My mother has added quite a lot of the people I know on facebook... sigh!
Chouette4u Chouette4u 8 years
chatondeneige, Like I said, on Facebook, she wouldn't know that you blocked her. They don't send any notifications or anything. It would look like you simply don't exist on the site, but she would have to go looking to even notice that your profile doesn't show up anywhere.
msshellokitty msshellokitty 8 years
I don't understand why everyone is saying block her.You are dating her son and she probably just wanted to be added since you are fb.She probably doesn't want to be your best friend but just wanted to be added since you are seeing her son.
chatondeneige chatondeneige 8 years
I would add her just because I don't have anything to hide (and if I did, I would get rid of it first because it's stupid to have stuff on your page that you don't want "adults" to see!) Seriously! Do you think that bosses can't see facebook pages? Just don't put stupid stuff up there, and you're fine. Chouette4u, you'd really block her? I guess I've never been on bad terms with a boyfriend's mom, but if I added my brother's new girlfriend and she blocked me as a response, I'd probably have a few choice words about her. Why not just give her limited profile access until you're closer?
aimeeb aimeeb 8 years
appolgurl great idea. Although I never knew you could do that on FB. Hahahaha.
JaimeLeah526 JaimeLeah526 8 years
I'd probably just add her to I didn't hurt her feelings and moderate my page to make sure nothing bad was on there or stop using it as much. Another thing you could do would be to continue using that one only for stuff that was acceptable for her to see and get another one with a secret name and give that to your friends.
tlsgirl tlsgirl 8 years
You can just use the limited profile option, and block them from your wall or pictures or whatever.
Chouette4u Chouette4u 8 years
Keep in mind that if you click "ignore" on the friend request, it doesn't send her a notification saying you rejected her or anything like that. Facebook also will not notify people if you remove them from your friends list, so if you add her and delete her later she probably won't notice. My advice would actually be to deny the request and block her. That way, she can't see anything you do on Facebook (like messages you might write on your bf's wall)
xxstardust xxstardust 8 years
Awkward, yes, but I'm sure it was well intentioned. Still .. I'm glad my boyfriend's mom doesn't have a facebook because I'm sure she'd friend me right away, lol! We get along very well (she treats me like a daughter and I love her) but it still weirds me out when she'll occasionally send me a text message.
Allytta Allytta 8 years
maybe you could lie you don't use it that often? i believe facebook is for real friends only, that competition to get more friends on facebook is just ridiculous.
dmartinxoxo dmartinxoxo 8 years
I think we create these awkward moments in our own heads, it's as if we chalked up a friend invitation to a save the date for marriage, it really isn't that big of a deal, just another example of how we carefully and almost anal retentively guard our lives on the internet. If we didn't want our lives to be public, we wouldn't have twitter, facebook, or myspace.
Karelynn Karelynn 8 years
I prefer the first time I make contact with a guy's parents, I'm meeting them in person. I would hold off on accepting or rejecting her (I rarely login to Facebook, so that's easy enough) until I meet her in person.
Dr-No Dr-No 8 years
This is why I don't have a facebook account! I don't think I would have the heart to reject some people that I really didn't want to be my "friends" (or whatever it's called!)
greenapples1987 greenapples1987 8 years
i think it's way to soon to add his mother!! i would just let the request hang out there for a while and maybe add her later. i think this mom is moving way to fast!
jessr1214 jessr1214 8 years
definitely weird...but i would add her. i agree that first impressions via facebook are awkward, but isnt it MORE awkward for your first impression to be ignoring her on facebook?
itsme3683 itsme3683 8 years
I would add her just because I don't have anything to hide (and if I did, I would get rid of it first because it's stupid to have stuff on your page that you don't want "adults" to see!), and because I would feel really rude to ditch her. I wouldn't leave her in friendship limbo because there's no difference between a reject and just letting it sit there from her perspective. I agree with SeaAre... parents just don't really have facebook etiquette so I doubt she's doing it to spy!
mondaymoos mondaymoos 8 years
I'd just disregard the request, too. That's a pretty awkward situation
SeaAre86 SeaAre86 8 years
I wouldn't ignore since that would leave a bad impression, imo. I'd just do limited profile, as appolgurl suggested. While it is kinda weird, parents that join facebook don't usually know the adding laws... haha, so don't be too hard on her. It was probably just innocent.
mamasitamalita mamasitamalita 8 years
my boyfriend has an "adult list", so his friends parents and aunts/uncles only can see his profile picture and his contact info.
danni2009 danni2009 8 years
Ignore all the way. I wouldn't even click 'no'...just totally ignore it. Then they won't see you've rejected their request. My facebook is for my friends only.
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