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Bad Signs on a First Date

Are Getting-to-Know-You Questions a Bad Sign on a First Date?

Using its reliably intriguing number-crunching, OK Cupid says it can help you figure out the important stuff on a first date — politics, religion, sexual willingness — with its easy-to-bring up questions.

It's meant to be humorous, I think. A yes to, "In a certain light, wouldn't nuclear war be exciting?" signals a yes to sex on the first date, while saying no to, "Do spelling and grammar mistakes annoy you?" indicates religion is probably somewhat important. I don't know about that except maybe the Bible needs a proofread?

Besides the fact that insinuating nuclear war could be exciting is a guaranteed conversation starter, I detest any and all getting-to-know-you questions, however explicit or cryptic. I cringe at the first sound of a "who," "what," or "how," because they're usually abrupt. And choppy conversations unsettle me: they're signs conversation isn't flowing, and the date is not going well. Do you see them as a bad sign, or just a necessarily evil of the dating game?

Join The Conversation
testadura67 testadura67 6 years
Conversation doesn't always just flow out of nowhere, sometimes it needs a question or two to get it going. And if you don't know someone well, those basic "what do you do for fun" questions are perfectly legitimate and can spark that spontaneous flow of conversation. As long as it doesn't turn into an interrogation, I see nothing wrong with it.
danakscully64 danakscully64 6 years
^^^ Exactly. I met my new boyfriend on OkCupid and we asked many questions on our first date. The conversation kept going and we ended up talking for 6 hours, we never had awkward pauses and never ran out of things to talk about. These questions are a must and good conversation starters!
amber512 amber512 6 years
Isn't that the point of a first date? To get to know the other person??
whats-her-name whats-her-name 6 years
...but if you don't ask "getting to know you questions" on a first date, how and when else will you get to know your date? I'm missing something...
kimmieb124 kimmieb124 6 years
The whole point of dating is to get to know someone, so I don't see a big deal with typical getting to know you questions. I have to agree with snarky that those other questions would seem more sketchy to me than the typical questions.
onlysourcherry onlysourcherry 6 years
Aw, cut the poor guys some slack! They're so nervous on first dates as it is. To me, I loved dating because you got to know so many interesting people. Since a lot of them don't make it past a first date anyways, why not actually get to know who they are?
snarkypants snarkypants 6 years
i kind of like getting to know you questions. those other questions just make it seem like he's been reading dating sites. :ROTFL:
jadenirvana jadenirvana 6 years
Agree 100% The only "getting to know you" questions I think are appropriate are "What drug do you most wish you could do with no consequences?" and "When did you lose your virginity?" My LEAST favorite question is "What are your hobbies?" I would never sleep with a guy who said "hobbies."
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