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Bailouts Gone Wild: Porn Industry Asks Congress For $5 Billion

The porn industry is hurting! With less money to waste, Americans are being forced to look at free Internet porn or seek meaningful relationships. And now, porn industry bigwigs have asked Congress for the same ride given to car manufacturers.

If they're going to make this work, Hustler magazine founder Larry Flynt and porn mogul Joe Francis really need to get their stories straight. Francis sees the bailout as necessary to meet the increasing demand for porn. He said, "In difficult economic times, Americans turn to entertainment for relief. More and more, the kind of entertainment they turn to is adult entertainment."

Yet Flynt believes it's necessary to stimulate (sorry!) America's sexual appetite. "With all this economic misery and people losing money, sex is the farthest thing from their mind."

Rest assured, bailout or no bailout, the industry is not at risk of collapsing. "But as long as the government is handing out money," Francis said, "we want to be there to take it."

Meanwhile, they await Congress's response.

Source

Join The Conversation
Mina-Xue Mina-Xue 8 years
Oh no! The illegal downloading of Porn is hurting them- and I couldn't care less! Well,actually I could. I obviously care too much to laugh as hard as I am!
janneth janneth 8 years
Yuck and double yuck.
beavis667 beavis667 8 years
I guess they could fall under the "too big to fail" classification. That's how the cars and the banks got bailouts. If you can dupe people/lawmakers into believing that we will go into a depression if your industry fails, you get billions of our hard earned money. The porn industry is pretty big. Oprah's enterprise could also be too big to fail. Lets hope she's not in dire straits.
StolzeMama StolzeMama 8 years
Oh come on people are happier when the have more sex, don't you want a happier US. HAHA. this really has to be a joke!
NouraBee NouraBee 8 years
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
clarabelle98 clarabelle98 8 years
The "families raising kids" industry needs a bailout too! What about us!
Kelliegrl Kelliegrl 8 years
I wonder if the porn industry has an official association.
momma-tikita momma-tikita 8 years
I heard this yesterday...ridiculous!!!!
amybdk amybdk 8 years
um, Tia, of course!
tiabia tiabia 8 years
Amy, do you love it long time
harmonyfrance harmonyfrance 8 years
This has got to be a joke. Please tell me this is a joke.
CaterpillarGirl CaterpillarGirl 8 years
delia, I agree!
Jude-C Jude-C 8 years
:ROTFL: This is ridiculous!
delia delia 8 years
Caterpillar! I just spit my coke onto my keyboard! HA HA HA!!! p.s. Best song ever, BTW. :)
runningesq runningesq 8 years
lol Caterpiller!
CaterpillarGirl CaterpillarGirl 8 years
I am truly sorry the porn industry cannot get thier numbers up But I dont think a stimulus package would help the limp sales.......
Jillness Jillness 8 years
"Why pay for porn when it's free." Exactly!
hypnoticmix hypnoticmix 8 years
Haha Franky Ava you said jack off...lmao!
Captivate Captivate 8 years
These guys ave a nice sense of humor. They know what they're doing, I doubt they're serious, and it's providing some funny social commentary on the wasteful spending of these govenment bailouts.
em1282 em1282 8 years
"That's precisely why Playboys circulation has been consistently shrinking since the early 90's" Well, can the articles be found online? That's what people really want, right? :)
stephley stephley 8 years
I bet they get something from Congress.
foxie foxie 8 years
With websites like YouPorn, why pay for it? =D
amybdk amybdk 8 years
Bella, I'm in! I could use that extra $500/month!
bellaressa bellaressa 8 years
I wonder if people would get together regarding their student loans and ask for bailouts.
Frank-y-Ava Frank-y-Ava 8 years
Boohoo, now men will have to jack off the old-fashioned way.
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