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Big Mistake with Sexy Au Pair

I have made a big mistake in hiring a good looking au pair. When we interviewed her she looked good, but she was wearing jeans and a T shirt. Now things have changed and she is plastering on the make-up and wearing short skirts. The problem is that my husband is clearly distracted by her. (the picture above is an exaggeration of course)

Even worse, she washes and dries her underwear in our utility-room, and from what I have seen she is wearing thongs most of the time. My husband surely has noticed this too.

I guess I have a choice. Either she leaves or she changes her appearance. I am thinking of buying her something . . . smart and simple . . . to wear whilst on duty.


What she wears in her own time is her choice. I am not sure how I am going to raise this subject with my husband. He is clearly enjoying the "display".

But even if she stays, I will still not feel happy. I am undecided. Should she stay or should she go ?

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Dhansuri2436338 Dhansuri2436338 5 years
Hello Mam, Really felt sorry about what had happened in your family. Well, to be honest , not all the Au pairs seem to be so. I think it is better to change her into next if your present Au pair do not change her appearance. I wish you all  your luck!!
kurniakasih kurniakasih 7 years
zeze, LOL. I'm re-reading the thing (from 2 years ago, ahoy). And yeah, it sounds like so troll-ish/fake post. I know that if it were me, and I would see it like this, there are going to be more au pairs in the world that can mesh with my kid. And my house is my house (and my money is my money), and if I don't feel comfortable regardless whatever the reason, I'd not keep the au pair around. S/he can look for employment elsewhere. I'm sure that there are many households in the world that can mesh with her/him as an au-pair.
zeze zeze 7 years
this whole thing seems so
WatcherMr WatcherMr 8 years
I get a kick out of the number of people that write: "it was an unwise decision for her to hire an attractive nanny" So, basically what you're saying is, she shouldn't be considered for some jobs, just because of her looks. And I'll bet, that you same people look down on attractive women when they get a job, just because of her looks. You're talking out of both sides of your mouth. So, let's see.... If a woman is born with a great voice, it's ok for her to use it to get a job. If a woman is born with a great ability for problem solving, it's ok for her to use it job wise. If a woman is born with a great ability to paint or draw, it's ok for her to get a job using it. But, if she's born with great looks, that excludes her from certain jobs...??? And, don't give me the line "She can have good looks, but she shouldn't be flaunting it". You don't mind if the woman with the great voice flaunts it, do you? You don't mind if the woman whom is a great cook flaunts it, do you? And the female artist can flaunt it all she wants, too, right? But, the beautiful woman must have all sorts of restrictions applied to her...right? Giving the Au Pair the boot, is simply putting a bandaid on the bigger problem. I used to be married to a woman that looked down at attractive women that dressed cute (dare I say sexy), were slim, and confident with their looks. That marriage was full of stress and issues the whole 9 years. Now, I'm with an attractive woman, that has fun dressing sexy, has a super job, and full of confidence. I'll still notice another attractive woman from time to time, just as she looks at attractive men, but so what? We are both confident with what we each 'bring to the table'. $100 bucks says the original poster has significant self esteem issues.
WallaceW WallaceW 9 years
Relax baby, if she's really that hot and sexy why don't you and your husband get with her together? A threesome with a young sexy girl just might be what your marriage needs.
Mormolok Mormolok 10 years
Men will always be a problem...lets be honest now, what man would not drool to a young good looking thing staying in his own house? Think it another way, i know you love your husband and your husband loves you, but how would you react having a very good looking man around the house walking just in his cute shorts and doing everything you want him to do. Trust me, even if you don't belive me, you'll be attracted by him, its only human nature. What you did was kind of wrong , you took one of those beautiful women from the streets that your man doesnt mind that much and brought her into his most private space...his house. We all make mistakes, its a very big possibility that he will make one too. So be very diplomatic and tell her to go home...don't make her wear god knows what because its not gonna work.
jaclynn jaclynn 10 years
Sarah- I think you made the right decision in firing her, I mean not to say that she shouldn't be hired, but she made you uncomfortable &that should be your first concern. Katie- Yeah, short skirts are definitely not appropriate for taking care of children haha. maybe with leggings? and yeah, people on here are usually older (I'm only 18), but I personally don't consider any of them frumpy &all of them are pretty easy to get along with. Plus they give really good advice, which is the point of DearSugar. and since you're giving away your wardrobe, i'll gladly take it off your hands hahah. But really, tight/low-cut tops and short skirts should notttt be worn around little kids. plus there's the whole husband-runs-off-with-nanny drama that's gone on &I think that really makes people nervous when hiring help. Good luck finding another job, though :) just make sure to ask Mandy's advice before deciding what to wear there.
Deba Deba 10 years
Both Sarah and Katie need to grow up! Katie I think getting ride of clothes its not really the solution, but instead knowing what to wear in every occasion, if you are going to party then a mini-skirt its perfect but not for going to work... Sarah that comment was pretty damn rude which leads me to think about how honest and objective you were when you posted the blog. My bf is not blind and if he sees a hot girl walking down the street, I'm a 100% sure that he is going to turn his look, but if I start with the whole jealousy/needy girl the only thing I'm getting is to be dumped one day. I am not on any one's side, but man! how many times walking down the street a guy starts looking at me while he is hanging out with his wife or gf... that is a very unpleasant situation, gotta look where the issue is.
The-Austin The-Austin 10 years
I will agree if you dressed up when you're going to night clubs or wedding. And I'm glad your friend Mandy is going to help you buy an appropriate clothes. Really darling, when you work an Au Pair please act like one. I was like "why would an Au Pair wearing short skirts while they're dealing with kids?" I'm an Au Pair too and I'm a lil bit shocked others comment but most of all because other au pairs I know and myself doesn't find this kind of trouble. Ah well, it's done so I think I should say nothing more. :)
KatieKitten KatieKitten 10 years
Thanks for the advice. I have never worked in an office. I see your point. I do tend to cause men to turn their heads and if I was working with them every day it might be a problem. I did not think Sarah was too worried about her kids looking at me, but more her husband. In fact her little girl has a Barbie Doll with lots of very girly outfits and she used to call me Barbie Katie, which was very cute. I never thought I might be flashing them ! Mandy has taken almost all my girly clothes away. She is going to take me shopping and so maybe I will end up with some knee length shorts. She will give me some of my skirts back later, when they are not the only thing in my wardrobe. I think that the problem I have is that I created an image and identified myself with that image. Maybe it was to attract attention, cos I was kind of ignored when I was younger. Anyway, I am really trying to change myself for the better. But I am going to really miss my girly stuff. Maybe there are some occasions when I could still get dressed-up ? Night clubs maybe or maybe a wedding ? I have 2 weddings to go to this Summer. Katie
LuckyGrl-83 LuckyGrl-83 10 years
... i meant to type sneakers... long day LOL
LuckyGrl-83 LuckyGrl-83 10 years
Katie-- i think it is very important for you to realize that there are different types of situations that allow for different types of outfits. I'm 23 and work in an office where there's a pretty casual environment and dress code. That does not mean i can go in wearing mini skirts, cut-off shorts, etc because it is not professional and it distracts others from my working ability. i do own short skirts and shorts... i just wear them when i'm out with friends after work or on the weekends... Personally i cant imagine how it would be comfortable trying to avoid flashing little kids when wearing short skirts... I dont think you should get rid of your whole wardrobe, i agree with you that doing this would be a great waste. instead i would invest in more work- appropriate outfits like knee-high shorts, cute sweatpants, skeakers or sandals, and tshirts (specially cut for women, they dont need to be ragged and huge)so you will enjoy a great deal of flexibility, especially since you work(ed) with kids, all the while not compromising your personal style... Your employer deserved at least a little respect since you were after all working for her and living under her roof and her rules... Hope this helps...
Christina362536 Christina362536 10 years
Katie- I do not have an issue with finding outfits that are cute.. I wear tops that are low cut and short skirts but not when dealing with kids.
KatieKitten KatieKitten 10 years
Well it is nice to know that there are some younger girls willing to comment. But I was hoping for some support. Anyway, I have made two quite big decisions. I will get rid of all my old teen clothes, and I will not be looking for another child care job, and am thinking of finding a fashion or beauty related job. This weekend, Mandy has agreed to come round and help me decide what clothes to keep and what to throw away. She said she is going to be really strict, and anything that makes me look like an overgrown teenager is going to be sold on ebay or given away. Whatever I have left over is then going to be categorised by Mandy. She is printing some labels on her computer to bring over .... "Too Short" "Too Tight" and "Low Cut". This is where I am sure we will disagree, because I think everything I have will fall into one of these categories, and if Mandy gets her way I will be left with nothing at all. These clothes are a big part of my image and I won't give them up without a fight My opinion on jeans and a T shirt is very strong. Scruffy men wear jeans and a T shirt, good looking girls and elegant ladies do not. I have only 1 pair of jeans, and I usually wear them when I am doing something that might spoil my other clothes. Short skirts for child care ? Not a problem at all. The only knee length skirts that I have are pencil skirts and I would not be able to run after kids in one of those - in fact they are so tight I can hardly walk in them. So shorts skirts are the answer - with tights or hold-ups to keep my legs warm. What is the difference between this and jeans ? Practically speaking no difference, but the skirts look pretty and feel great. Christina362536 - if you need some help in chosing something slighly more feminine than jeans and a T shirt, then I am happy to help. In fact, if they fit, I could send you some of the clothes that Mandy and I will be sorting out this weekend.
Christina362536 Christina362536 10 years
wow Katie.. I agree wtih LIza.. that was QUITE rude. I'm very surprised anyeone would hire you to take care of their children with your attitude or as we've read your wardrobe. I dont see how you could EVER think that wearing skirts period besides ones down tot he knee would be appropriate for child care, or how you could think that wearing low cut tops are appropriate... Wear what you want when you are outside of the home but you might need to dress a bit more professional around the house. Whats wrong with jeans and a cute tshirt? 2ndly you getting onto her computer AFTER she said not to alone would be grounds for dismissal.. and no I'm not in my 40s or anything... Im only 21 and I have more common sense than you.
LizaToad LizaToad 10 years
katie - that's a rude thing to say, if you don't like it here, don't bother, but no one is 'frumpy' and there are people of all ages here... i'm 24, others may be in their 40's, but everyone seems to get along! hmmm....
KatieKitten KatieKitten 10 years
Hi, Well I am back as KatieKitten. I am not going to post to this blog anymore. I will find some girls that are a bit younger to talk to, and who are more into fashion. The average age of this blog seems to be 45. Everyone is so Frumpy. Bye Bye.
Sampy Sampy 10 years
KatieTart or TartyGirl ?
SarahMG SarahMG 10 years
Katie ... I think that the girls who have posted to this blog would really like to help you decide your new username. I am sure that they will provide a long list of imaginative names for you to chose from :-)
Arthur Arthur 10 years
Katie, you can send me a private message by clicking here. Tell me what you want your username changed to and I'd be glad to change it for you. ps. I don't need an Au Pair ;)
SarahMG SarahMG 10 years
Katie, thanks for the apology. I do think you need help from someone. I suggest that you create your own blog entry entitled "Should I wear this to work ?" and attach a lovely photo of yourself dressed in one of your short skirts. I am sure that you will receive plenty of advice. Sounds like Mandy is slightly more mature than you - maybe you should listen to her. I don't know how you can change your username. I think that unforunately you will permanently be KatieAuPair on Team Sugar. But who knows, maybe this will help you find your next job ?
angelbaby2 angelbaby2 10 years
i would have fired the bitch as soon as she started "sulking" when there was a discussion about the clothes. You are her boss-she should not be sulking about anything you tell her-at least not in front of you. Get rid of her. How do you think Robin WIlliams met his second wife? SHE WAS THE NANNY!
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