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Birth Order and Relationships

Best and Worst Love Matches by Birth Order

We know birth order affects personality, but what happens when birth orders mix. Your place in your family and your partner's can affect how you relax, communicate, and fight. The oldest and youngest are by far the most complementary pair, like Ed Westwick (the youngest of three) and Jessica Szohr (the eldest of five), but what of the others? Here's a breakdown of the best, worst, and so-so matches by birth order.



    Only and only: Used to being the center of attention, neither is eager, or necessarily willing, to give up the spotlight.
    Youngest and youngest: Sure two youngests will have fun, but nobody will be in charge and the relationship may whirl into chaos.

Mixed Results

    Middle and youngest: If the middle has an eldest traits then it could be an excellent match; however, if the middle has last-born traits then it could be as unproductive as two youngests.
    Oldest and oldest: Friction is likely when these two controlling, yet people-pleasing personalities team up. If both are always competing, it will likely turn into a power struggle.
    Oldest and middle: Middle children are often hypersensitive to injustice. So when the oldest tries to take control, the middle may perceive unfairness.

Does this fall into place for you?

Image Source: WireImage
Join The Conversation
Angelica Angelica 7 years
I'm with you, Nancy. I have oldest child syndrome and it definitely carries over into my relationships. I've found dating the youngest to be a bit of a chore because my natural tendency to be the boss comes out too often, and they accept my lead then then resent it. And, when both people are waiting for a leader....oye!
danakscully64 danakscully64 7 years
I hate generalizations and assumptions.
dani17731 dani17731 7 years
Know what really grinds my gears? When people always assume that only children are spoiled and used to being the center of attention. So untrue! One of my closest friends and I are onlies (well, her sister is way older so she was raised an only) and we're both very independent, unselfish and hardly spoiled. I started working when I was 14! And even if my mom had the time or money to spoil me, she wouldn't have. I dated an oldest for a while and we got along great, but we didn't last because he was just too lazy.
danakscully64 danakscully64 7 years
I'm the youngest with a youngest and we don't have any of the issues specified. We're not really "fun" people (hey, I can admit it :p), we definitely don't have an issue with no one being in charge (we both are, or at least that's what he thinks), and the chaos we experience is nothing out of the ordinary. We're both very responsible, we made the least amount of mistakes in our families. I hate this birth order crap, it doesn't fit in most cases I've seen.
nomadreader nomadreader 7 years
What about middle and only? Are middles and onlys simply screwed?
sourcherry sourcherry 7 years
How about only and oldest?
imLissy imLissy 7 years
I'm an only and he's the youngest. I definitely have to take care of him, lol.
mix-tape mix-tape 7 years
I think birth order explains a lot about people's personalities. When I meet a self centered person and find out they are an only child I'm rarely surprised. I am the oldest and have most of those traits. I have only ever dated the youngest in families too. Weird.
rach716 rach716 7 years
I consider myself an only because I have never lived with my half brother or half sister, we've never been very close, I'm my mom's only. My boyfriend is the youngest. Come to think of it, I've always dated the youngest with the exception of my last boyfriend who was a middle. Interesting to think about!
postmodernsleaze postmodernsleaze 7 years
I am a middle child and only date other middle children because no one else could ever understand my deep-rooted pain.
HoneyBrown1976 HoneyBrown1976 7 years
My husband and I are both the oldest and I have to say that the results are pretty accurate.
inlove23 inlove23 7 years
ps. I don't think where we stand makes a difference with us.
inlove23 inlove23 7 years
Wow. I've pretty much always dated the oldest sibling (I'm the oldest too), but we never really clashed. My boyfriend is a little tricky, I guess technically he is a middle child? But, he doesn't live with them now, and I don't think he ever really did growing up so I view him as the oldest (they are half brothers and sisters).
TammyO TammyO 7 years
I'm an only child with a youngest! :WOOHOO:
Hello890 Hello890 7 years
What about middle and middle?
vanilla19 vanilla19 7 years
Girl Jen I'm a twin to(two minutes older)! Even though I (and my twin) are the youngest, I think I'm more like an older-kind of bossy and more mature.
Girl-Jen Girl-Jen 7 years
How do twins figure into this? We're the oldest (and I'm a minute older than my twin), but a classic "oldest" child has some time being an only child.
pink-elephant pink-elephant 7 years
Are you kidding?! This just seems like a joke! All the relationships I've ever known/had defy these stats. My parents are both younger siblings and in no way fit this description and as far as me and my fiance go, we're both the eldest and are definitely not the "controlling, people-pleasing" stereotypes that this claims eldest children ought to be.
lilkimbo lilkimbo 7 years
Everything I've read said that birth order only affects personality when you're with your family (the one you grew up in). Anyway, I think these kind of things are fun, but I don't really put much stock in them.
GlowingMoon GlowingMoon 7 years
I'm the eldest,and I generally date the middle with eldest traits. I've dated the eldest and the youngest, and it was awful. With friendships, it's a different story. I've only had good friendships with fellow eldests.
Pistil Pistil 7 years
My last two boyfriends were the youngest of the siblings (I'm the oldest). I never really thought about it.
tlsgirl tlsgirl 7 years
I'm a middle - some eldest traits, and some classic middle child nonsense. Seriously though, my little brother totally got all the attention ;) My BF is a youngest, and boy is he ever. So, sometimes we work, and sometimes I really just wish he'd take charge, or at least clean up the kitchen ;)
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