This is absolutely the most important news we will bring you all day. The paper of record, the Weekly World News has published a hard-hitting October Surprise endorsement: John McCain has picked up the coveted alien vote. Not illegal immigrants, real honest-to-goodness outer-space folks. The vote has been reportedly secured by Cindy McCain reaching across atmospheric lines to forge a diplomatic relationship with the alien. According to the WWN here's how it went down:
At a recent McCain rally, inside sources say Cindy McCain disappeared with the alien after sharing several champagnes with the notorious intergalactic lightweight. Ms. McCain’s alien-like good looks and natural blood temperature of 54°F may have proved too much for him to resist as she reportedly put her cyborg husband into sleep mode and worked her charms.
To see the effect of this turn of events on the election, check out the whole piece.
Back on Earth, Detroit and Oil City, PA, are dealing with Halloween hijinks of their own. To see how,
The Detroit tradition of "Devil's Night," where mischief makers set abandoned buildings on fire is being put out by thousands of citizen volunteers and police officers. The worst Devil's Night, 1984, saw 810 fires set in the city. They expect 50,000 volunteers to watch over the town this year.
In Oil City, PA, there's a cautious return to after-dark Trick or Treating this year following the 1992 murder of an 11-year-old, thanks to a petition drive by a local fifth grader. Her petition combined with an essay has persuaded the City Council to change its mind. The young activist will be out tomorrow night dressed up as a Goth princess bride.
Is anything scarier than that picture of Cindy McCain happening in your neck of the haunted and spooky woods?