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Boyfriend Is Not Chivalrous

Group Therapy: I Love Him, but Chivalry Is Not Dead!

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

Before I start going into details, there is a little background. My boyfriend and I have known each other for years. We met as freshman in college and are both 25 now. We were friends most of these years, although we both had interest in each other, timing was never right. Well, at the beginning of this year we started hanging out as more then friends and the timing was perfect! We have been "official" now for about five months and things have been going well. My father unexpectedly passed away about a month ago, and he has been my rock. I just have a HUGE issue, and that is the fact that he is not very chivalrous.

He does pay for dinner when we go out and such, but he doesn’t open the car door for me, and although he will open the front door he usually will walk in front of me. But what bothers me even more is that he doesn’t tell me I'm beautiful. He does not compliment me, at all. I know I am an attractive woman, and men hit on me constantly and tell me how beautiful I am, but I do not care about them. I want to hear it from HIM.


If I get dressed up when we go out to dinner, he may tell me “you look pretty” (but usually not). We went to a friend's wedding and I got my hair and makeup done and wore a very sexy dress, and he didn’t even tell me I looked good. I had to confront him the next day and basically tell him that he didn’t compliment me. It just drives me insane, because I always tell him he looks great, and such. I have always dated men that have opened the door for me, pulled the chair out for me, and complimented me, especially when I dress up for a date. Also, he hasn’t said I LOVE YOU to me yet, although he tells me he has “a lot of love” for me.

I don’t want to sound like a nagging gf, but this is driving me nuts. My dad was so chivalrous, he told my mother how beautiful and sexy she was (after being married for over 25 years) and would always hold the door for her and pull out her chair and such, that’s the example I saw and I want nothing less for myself. I just don’t know how or if I should even confront him about it.

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously to Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

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