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Boyfriend Going on Guys' Only Trip, yet Another Girl Is Paying?

Boyfriend Going on Guys' Only Trip, yet Another Girl Is Paying?

This question comes from Group Therapy in our TrèsSugar Community. Feel free to add your advice in the comments!

My boyfriend asked me if he could go on a vacation with his friends. A friend of his will pay for the said vacation. I know it's good to have time apart in a relationship, but the problem is the friend paying for this vacation is a girl. I haven't met this friend since she's based in another country. But I've heard of her before my boyfriend and I started dating. I told him it's OK to go, but the truth is I am a little uneasy about it. I am a little jealous that he will be going there without me, knowing that its not an "only-boys" trip and I haven't met any of his friends that will be going along. (This set of friends are his friends in college so I don't know them). On the other hand, another part of me is OK with it. I don't want to be clingy, and I want him to enjoy this time with his friends. What should I do?

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looseseal looseseal 7 years
Maybe she's not invited on the trip because someone else is paying. I want to know why this other girl is paying, too, whether she's going on the trip as well, whether she's paying for a whole bunch of people or is the boyfriend "special". I'm confused! On the plus side, when it's a group of friends with some females in the mix, this is less likely to turn into the kind of trip where they kill a hooker in Vegas.
kurniakasih kurniakasih 7 years
I was reading this out loud earlier to my hub. Even he thinks it's weird that she's paying for him, and he's a guy LOL. And yeah, when I think about it, I have good male buds (who most of them are in relationships and marriages), but I won't even dream about paying their way to join me (or my family) in a vacation. Or maybe she's just very rich and decide that she wants to pay for a bunch of people's vacation. And your bf just wants to indulge in a free vacation (although it is rather odd that he doesn't care about what you might think of the whole deal). I just wonder about a couple of things: Is she paying for everyone or just him specifically? And if you can afford it (or even want to do it), will they even consider you joining them? Well, the rest of it, Ita with notinthemood. Good luck to you.
notinthemood notinthemood 7 years
Ha ha ha... silly Greg... that's a totally different situation. I'm a girl, and I have lots of guy friends. Sometimes I even visit them, and vice versa! But there are rules to having friends of the opposite sex: 1.) You DO NOT listen to/talk about your significant others negatively. 2.) You pay for yourself, b*tch. This isn't a date! (We keep it equal.) 3.) Girlfriends/boyfriends are ALWAYS invited if they want to come. That said, if a woman is paying for a man to come somewhere, something is in it for her. I wouldn't pay a dime for one of my guy friends to come visit... sorry dudes, but I like shoes and I'd rather spend my hard-earned cash on those! If it's my boyfriend, I'm getting something from the visit and would consider helping him financially if he needed it, but nobody else. Not even my best guy friend. So any girl offering to pick up substantial cost for a guy is getting something out of it... what that is, I can't say for sure. But maybe your boyfriend is just dumb about girls? Guys will never turn down free stuff, so maybe this girl is just silly and desperate. Your best bet, OP, is to be SUPER NICE to your boyfriend about the trip. I mean, the BEST girlfriend ever, before he goes. Don't mention the girl, or any problems you're having... be super confident. That way, when he's on the trip he'll be thinking about coming home to the best girlfriend ever and if she does try to make a move, he'll have you fresh in his mind (in a good way) to keep him honest. But doll, if you hear ANYTHING that hints that he might have been unfaithful during/after the trip... run away. Don't even wait for an explanation. Good luck!
GregS GregS 7 years
This is a silly argument. He's going with friends he's had since college, one of which is a girl. It happens she's the one footing the bill. We don't know how long the bf and Tres have been going out. I see no harm coming from this. My son and 4 friends ran all over Europe last year. One of the friends was a girl. Guess what? Nothing happened other than 4 very happy kids who had a great time sharing a trip together. Let him go, you'll be just fine.
Camarogirl67 Camarogirl67 7 years
I agree with Pistil. It's interesting that he mentioned this girl friend of his, and that she's paying, but you're also not invited. So it's "friends only"? How long have you been dating? Just feels weird to me. But what matters is if it makes you feel weird, which it sounds like it does. And is this horrible of me to suggest, but - and i'm being really paranoid here - do you have proof of these friends even going? Do you think he mentioned her just so he could get points for being honest, and it may just be them?
mix-tape mix-tape 7 years
Well when the main pic for this question is a screen cap from the movie Hangover, what do you expect most of the responses to be about haha! I think you should trust him this once and see what happens. If everything goes well then you will have sooooo many brownie points for being that cool girlfriend who let him do his thing! If it doesn't go well, something happens to break your trust, hey at least you found out about it now rather than later down the road so you can end it! It's a win win girl!
Pistil Pistil 7 years
I also think the fact that this other girl is paying for everything is kind of odd, unless they're really good, long-time friends (which doesn't seem to be the case if you aren't very familiar with her). Vacations aren't cheap. Since he was considerate enough to discuss it with you first, I doubt he has any ulterior motives here, but I wonder why you're not invited? I understand the need to have time to one's self, but it sounds like a pretty big trip, and that's usually something you'd want to be able to share with your significant other. I'd be a little jealous too.
zabrow zabrow 7 years
the thing that strikes me as odd is that your boyfriend is asking permission to go on a trip. asking permission? really? would he just cancel if you didn't grant him permission? if you can't trust him to have time around his friends without you there to monitor him, maybe you shouldn't be in the relationship.
lilkimbo lilkimbo 7 years
The fact that someone else (male or female) is paying is what strikes me as odd. I guess I'd have to know more about why she's paying to really make a judgment call on this situation.
skigurl skigurl 7 years
i can't understand why a random girl who isn't going on the trip is paying...i would be uneasy with this too...i guess it all depends on how much you trust him...seems shady though
JennyJK JennyJK 7 years
I agree with ManiMartinixo, about talking it out and finding out who exactly this girl that's paying is. I was also kind of wondering how many people will be going along (are the other people going along bringing their significant others?) and is this other girl paying for everyone's vacation or just his? I think that's a big clue into it, vacation's aren't cheap and it's a pretty big deal even for one's significant other to drop all that money and completely pay for someone else's vacation. I think I would have a few problems with the trip if the girl is only paying for his vacation. If that's the case it seems like something might be up...
imLissy imLissy 7 years
I'd be kinda pissed if it was me. Not because I don't trust him, but he gets to go away without you? If it's because you can't afford it or something, that's understandable, but if he doesn't want you there, I would be hurt.
ManiMartinixo ManiMartinixo 7 years
I think you should talk to him about your uneasiness. I've been in a similar situation and the best thing to do is talk it out. This way you can find out if there's more too his relationship with this woman (like hey dated in college, she's an old childhood friend, she's eloping with one of his friends and wants your bf there too, etc). After you have a better idea of who this woman is and even who his friends are you might feel better. Or worse but hopefully better.
gummybears123 gummybears123 7 years
i think that if he hasn't done anything for you to suspect that he is untrustworthy, then you should trust him. one of the most important things in a relationship is trust. i think it's a good sign that he asked u if u could go because it shows he respects ur opinion and therefore respects u.
pnoble pnoble 7 years
I don't like it and I don't think you're being too clingy at all! Too much room for temptation on his part. Just the fact that you've never met these friends and you're uneasy about it is proof enough for me that he should stay home. It would be one thing if it were just a night out drinking and partying with old college friends, but this is a trip away with another woman whom you've never even met. If it were reversed and you had an old guy friend wanting to pay your way to Cozumel so that the two of you could lay on the beach together sipping fruity drinks - would he be okay with that? Again, I don't like it - you both go or no one goes. Figure out a way to dig up the money and say you want to come along - if its a "no go" then you know there was more to the story than meets the eye.
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