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Boyfriend Joining the Army

Military Wives and Girlfriends: My Guy Is Joining Up

This post comes from the Military Wives and Girlfriends group in our TrèsSugar Community. If you have any advice, please add it in the comments!

The ARMY runs deep in my family. My grandfather was in Vietnam, my uncle was in Desert Storm, and my Dad almost made a career out of the air force. There have been countless people before them in my family who had military carrers. When I was younger I swore to myself that I wouldn't get involved in the military life, but of course the inevitable has happened.

About two and a half years ago I met this awesome guy and fell instantly. Well today he just broke the news to me that he's decided to join the ARMY. I'm to the point of I don't know what to do. Although we met so long ago, we've just recently been talking about relationships and decided to take the major leap from just friends to dating. I'm extremely worried about him, that something will happen and he'll be deployed to Iraq and die. I really do care for him, but I'm not quite sure that things will work out. I know that some people are able to adjust to this transition just fine. But I also realize that it's not something for every woman in the world.

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Join The Conversation
tigr3bianca tigr3bianca 6 years
Military relationships are hard but there are benefits. You said he is joining the Army but he could join the Reserves, National Guard or Active. If it's one of the first two, he will mostly be with you. Active is more likely to deploy or be stationed in other places. You should discuss your feelings with him about deciding to join.
lilegwene lilegwene 6 years
I'm not sure what kind of advice you're looking for... you're not really asking a question, just kind of venting. Is there anything we (military wives/husbands/girlfriends/families) can answer for you?
wolfpackgal wolfpackgal 6 years
I dated a guy in the military for a year and half. He was on trips/deployed for at least half of our relationship. We just recently broke up because he got orders to go to Germany for 2 years. Honestly, your boyfriend will probably deploy at least once. I think Army deployments are at least 6 months, if not more. You need to decide if you want to be alone for part of your relationship. It's very difficult, and adds an aspect of the relationship that most people don't have to deal with. If you can face the fact that you will not always be with him, then go for it. If that's something that sounds too difficult, you shouldn't be with him. Also, ask him if his unit will be deployable - some guys are lucky enough to get into a unit that doesn't deploy. Although, my ex was in one of these, and was chosen for deployment anyway. Good luck, message me if you need anything!
GTCB GTCB 6 years
I have a lot of respect for spouses (women & men both) whose other half is/are in the military and get deployed overseas. It takes a real strength of character and a lot of faith to make those relationships work. I suppose though you have to ask yourself at this point is the guy worth it? You're going to be making some big sacrifices. You've only just gotten together. It would maybe be different if you'd been an item for the years you've known each other.
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