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Boyfriend Thinks I'm Ugly

Group Therapy: My Boyfriend Things I'm Ugly

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

And it hurts. It really does.

I spent my entire life hearing that I was ugly or weird from classmates, siblings, sometimes my own mom. I found my boyfriend, and we've been together for quite some time, and it did feel nice to know someone thought I was worth looking at. I was wrong. Today he came out and said that he dated me because I was an awesome person, but look wise I'm pretty much nothing. I should have expected it, but I really just wanted to be wanted for once.

I don't know no one is really reading this. Maybe it's just a bad day.

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously to Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

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Join The Conversation
barrons barrons 5 years
You deserve to feel beautiful ever second of everyday and if he can't give you that then he doesn't deserve you. I wish you the greatest happiness in the world :)
Peola Peola 5 years
You should be valued for who you are. Don't settle because you don't think you deserve better. I don't agree that it's a pity party. Mental or verbal abuse can be just as hurtful and physical abuse. Love yourself
jenjen82 jenjen82 5 years
He sounds rude. But you also need to know your strengths and what your expectations are. If your not attractive, then you need to make sure to have a great personality. Nobody wants to hear a pity party. So move on.
hiptobesquare hiptobesquare 5 years
This is horrible. I'm so sorry. Dump him.
onlysourcherry onlysourcherry 5 years
pity party, table for one.
kimmieb124 kimmieb124 5 years
Your boyfriend should never have said this to you. You sound like you have low self-esteem from being given horrible messages about how you look for years. He has no right to claim he cares about you if he is willing to add to these messages and hurt you. If you already feel this poorly about yourself due to all the other messages you have internalized over the years about how you look, I know it will be hard for you to get out of this relationship. But everyone else is right--you need to get away from him because this is not going to get any better. Every woman deserves to be with a man who loves her for who she is and if this guy doesn't love you as you are, he's not worth your time. I also agree with steph1234 that you may want to look into some counseling for yourself to build up your self esteem so that you can truly see what a great person you are and how you deserve better than this fool. To get into a relationship where you are truly valued, you must first be in a place where you truly value yourself and it doesn't sound like your'e there yet if you think you should have expected him to say he doesn't find you attractive.
mrscharles-2007 mrscharles-2007 5 years
Dump him! Everyone is beautiful in their own way and we're all weird too! If he really cared about you he wouldn't say things like that to you. He's probably trying to keep your self-esteem down so you don't realize how much better you can do. Don't let anyone make you feel this way, ever. When you find the guy who loves you for you, he'll think you're the most beautiful girl in the world, even on your worst days.
crzempowska crzempowska 5 years
Ok, I have been lingering on "group therapy" for a long time and this post was the one that made me register so I could comment. I have a few things to say about this. 1) I agree with everything above. I recently had a friend in a very similar situation, and what I kept stressing to her is, if he doesn't like X and Y about you, then why in the world is he with you? It must be for some no-good, destructive reasons, and the same goes for you, ESPECIALLY if he would have the gall to flat out tell you he does not find you attractive. If he TRULY cared about you, he would AT LEAST keep that to himself. Because lets be honest here, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that that hurts. The fact that he told you in the first place really raises a red flag with me. 2) He is one person. Even if "the majority" does not find you good looking, there ARE men out there who will find you absolutely adorable, and you WILL find one. This guy is not the one for you. 3) If you stay with him, this is only going to get worse as time goes on. Nothing good ever comes of finding your partner unattractive, and your partner knowing that and resentment for that growing and growing. 4) No, you should not "expect it." You should expect to be treated like gold. Please dump him. :)
iti1991 iti1991 5 years
Pathetic.Your boyfriend should not have hurt you like this :-( are beautiful..:-),so don't bother
steph1234 steph1234 5 years
My heart breaks for you. I am so sorry this happened to you. There is no reason he should have said it. I wonder what your reaction to him was? All girls grow up wanting that fairy tale relationship with the fairy tale prince that thinks they are beautiful all the time...then the frog comes along and ruins it...Anyway, regardless of what you look like, you are a beautiful person, and you can find someone who thinks you are beautiful no matter what....don't settle for anyone...get away from this guy. The last thing you need is another person pulling you down and making you feel less than you really are. Maybe even go to a counselor to try to get your self-esteem issues under control.
mnp mnp 5 years
We are all beautiful and weird in our own unique way. No one is ever perfect and even the perfect people have their own flaws. I have this beautiful coworker (former ballet dancer) who has a really quirky laugh. We know where she is in the office from her laugh. lol // I would reconsider this relationship with this guy. You should be with a man who appreciates you both inside and out. You deserve better.
hilberkl hilberkl 5 years
No, No, No, No! You definitely should not be with someone that says that. What an A-Hole! and You definitely shouldn't expect it! Girl, embrace your weirdness....we're all weird!
wolfjinx25 wolfjinx25 5 years
You should not be with someone that would say something that awful to you. You are beautiful and do not let anyone tell you otherwise. Find someone better who deserves you.
chibisuke chibisuke 5 years
I just feel terrible
Raynne413 Raynne413 5 years
I cannot believe that someone that professes to care about you would EVER say that to you! He doesn't deserve your time. That is ridiculous. You deserve someone SO much better. Someone that loves you would never say something like that. EVER.
somekindofmagic somekindofmagic 5 years
You shouldn't be with him if he feels that way because it's ultimately going to ruin your self esteem more if it already hasn't. There will be someone who thinks the sun shines out of your ass and thinks you're beautiful. You don't deserve to be talked to that way by anyone. I wish I could see what you look like because I get a feeling you really aren't "ugly" this must be overwhelming for you.
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