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Boyfriend Told Other Woman We Broke Up

Group Therapy: He Told Another Woman We Broke Up

This question comes from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

So the other day I got my computer back from my bf and he was still logged onto his Facebook. So I was bad and I went and snooped and found something I didn't want to see. He had messaged this girl saying how he and I were not dating anymore because it got too complicated.  

He did this on our 9 month. I was shocked and I don't know how to bring it up with out him getting mad about me snooping. I just don't know what to do. I'm scared that he's lying to me about a lot. And then I saw him text this girl saying I'm hanging out with family when he was hangin out with me so I don't know.

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hypnoticmix hypnoticmix 6 years it worth saying anything? As far as his heart is concerned you've been done. If saying anything means a gateway to an attempt to mend the divide it is my opinion that your efforts will be futile and misguided. Get yourself together and say goodbye to the @$$hole and you don't owe him any explanation. However, if you leave with a few choice phrases and a shocked look on his face that would be priceless. If you're in the position to kick him out that may even be more rewarding.
lickety-split lickety-split 6 years
Lol, yeah, you do know. Honestly, do you have time in your life for his BS? I don't think so. Power up honey; give him his papers.
danakscully64 danakscully64 6 years
danakscully64 danakscully64 6 years
My sister's soon to be ex husband did this to her. Not only that, she recently found out that the week they got married he signed up for a cheaters site. He's lying to you, he's lying to her, it's no someone you want in your life.
juicebox07 juicebox07 6 years
This guy obviously isn't worth your time. I wouldn't even bring up the snooping. Just tell him you've lost interest and move on.
elramos elramos 6 years
Leave him.
tlsgirl tlsgirl 6 years
Just break up with him. Next time, though, maybe you should talk to your SO before snooping if you're worried. Maybe it doesn't help and you find out some other way anyway, but at least you can say you tried to take the high road. Snooping's not cool.
kurniakasih kurniakasih 6 years
Yes, he's trying to 'hit it' with other females. What to do? Choose your poison, either confront him (exposing yourself as the snooper and he can either fess up or get defensive) or keep it to yourself and be driven to paranoia and insecurity. Either way, it's pretty unpleasant choice, there's no other way around it. Frankly, I'd walk away from the whole mess (dump him and to drive him crazy don't even tell him why you dump him, or just be mean and say that it's him and not you LOL). And when your gut feeling is to check up on your s/o, yah, it's a warning sign something's not right.
PiNkY-PiNk PiNkY-PiNk 6 years
I don't think that what you did was nearly as bad as wat he did. So you don't snoop and don't find this and keep being lied to and possibly cheated on? No. This guy's a jerk, obviously trying to get with other people.
onlysourcherry onlysourcherry 6 years
You should break up with him and you should tell him what you found. I think he needs to know that you know what a sleaze he is.
snarkypants snarkypants 6 years
just break up with him. if you don't want to tell him you snooped, don't, just end it. he sounds like scumball. get out now.
roseate roseate 6 years
I agree with the above posters. If he doesn't want to tell another girl that he's with you, something is wrong. Break up with him.
MySecondLife MySecondLife 6 years
When a person snoops, he/she has to be willing to accept and handle whatever is found. You found something you didn't want to find. Now, you need to move on. There is absolutely positively unequivocally NOTHING good about this relationship. You snoop and he cheats; there's no respect, no trust, and ultimately no REAL love. End it.
Janine22 Janine22 6 years
Umm yeah, he is either already cheating on you or trying to cheat on you. What else do you need to know? I agree with Emu8, you obviously snooped because you had women's intuition that something was not right and unfortunately you were correct. So now you can confront him if you need some closure, but why would you stay with a guy that is obviously a liar and a cheater?????????
Emu8 Emu8 6 years
who cares if he gets mad at you for snooping? You have hard evidence that he's been lying to you. You probably only snooped because you had an intuition that something was off....not that you want to make it a habit (in other, healthier relationships), but don't beat yourself up about it is all that I am saying. He's lying about something. Move on and find someone who can have an honest relationship. Don't let yourself get addicted to the drama.
sarah_bellum sarah_bellum 6 years
Agreed. The right answer isn't easy but it sure is simple. Kick him to the curb, he's a liar and quite possibly a cheat.
lwimbush lwimbush 6 years
what is there to know? this sounds like a bad situation all around...get out while you can.
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