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Boyfriend Won't Say I Love You

"Four Years and No I Love You"

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!


I've been with my boyfriend for four years. We see each other often, though we don't live together (we each have our own kids from prior marriages). We have a lot in common, enjoy each other's company, etc. We're in our 40s, so I hope that by now, we have a better idea of what makes a relationship last.

However . . . I find myself getting hung up on the fact that he hasn't said the magic "I love you." Also, he only recently brought up the idea of meeting his mom a few months ago, but it hasn't happened yet. And now, I told him I'd like to take a vacation to Hawaii and he basically said, "Have a great time!" There was no hint of worry that I might meet someone there, and no "Can I go with you?" We went on two vacations last year and had a great time — one of which I had planned on my own, and he said he wanted to go, too (it was an overseas trip with a lot of difficult cycling, so I didn't ask him at first).

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Other than that, he's loyal, and acts like we're practically a long-married couple. Still, should his lack of worry about me vacationing alone, his lack of "I love you" declarations, be a sign that it's time I move on?

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously to Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

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