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Breaking Up With Friend Harder Than Breaking Up With Boyfriend

What's Harder For You: Breaking Up With a Partner or a Friend?

Ending any relationship has the potential for heartbreak. But researchers at Manchester University have found that breaking up with a friend takes a greater toll on people, especially women, than calling off a romantic relationship.

When it comes time to end an emotionally burdensome friendship, women report terrible guilt. Meanwhile the dumped friend feels significant self-doubt and betrayal. In order to avoid these negative feelings, people often don't end bad platonic relationships once and for all. Instead they slowly withdrawal from stressful friendships — I'm sure we all can think of examples of "the disappearing friend." Which kind of breakup do you find more difficult?

Source: Flickr User suez92

Join The Conversation
kiwitwist kiwitwist 7 years
this is tough... it is harder emotionally with a partner but I have a hard time kicking a friend competely to the curb. :(
juicebox07 juicebox07 7 years
I agree with #5. In my experience, it was much harder dealing with a breakup with my partner than it was dealing with several broken friendships. I share more with a partner, so there is more of an emotional attachment.
GlowingMoon GlowingMoon 7 years
Same here -- I think they're both equally tough.
tlsgirl tlsgirl 7 years
To add to the above, however, I didn't feel guilty or anything, and despite the fact that I've lost other friends because of it, not having to deal with her toxic issues all of the time has been an incredible relief.
tlsgirl tlsgirl 7 years
I broke up with a very close friend recently and it was definitely harder than any boyfriend I've broken up with. Part of that is her attitude - she's not one of those people that could be civil in a social situation if we were both there and she's definitely one who will talk sh*t about me to our other friends given half a chance. The other problem is that we have a lot of mutual friends that, because of her attitude, I won't be seeing as much anymore because of the awkwardness of being in the same room. With guys at least I've always been able to make a clean break.
neonbee neonbee 7 years
Partner, in my case. Whenever I had a fallout with a friend, it just happens. No screaming, crying, being bitter around each other. The friendship just ends and we never contact each other again.
Miss-Infamous Miss-Infamous 7 years
I think both are equally as hard. Depends on how much feelings you have invested
chequettex chequettex 7 years
I've had a hard time breaking up with friends, as I do feel that guilt they speak of, but it's much harder to go through a breakup with a romantic partner! Recently I had to be a "disappearing friend" to one person: a teen-aged girl, much younger than I, who I just did not have time for - at least not for the kind of relationship she wanted with me. She wanted me to take her to the mall, spend hours on the phone with her, and basically act like a teen-aged girl, but still make her look cool because she had an adult friend. I felt pretty bad about ignoring her texts and phone calls and unfriending her on Facebook, but breaking it off with guys I'd dated had always seemed much tougher. It's not so easy to just "disappear" with a guy - they usually don't get those kinds of subtleties, and you eventually have to just tell them it's over.
katieisfresh katieisfresh 7 years
This is soooo true! I have found out that some girlfriends I had to break up with that were not good for me. Just kinda prolong the situation, make matters worse, inflict name calling or sometimes just can't accept the fact that the friendship was dead years ago. When I have ended relationships with old lovers, most of them took it fairly well and there wasn't much confrontation. I think women need to accept it for how it is. If your girlfriend doesn't want to be friends with you anymore, you can't force her too. It takes two to have a friendship. Just a thought
skigurl skigurl 7 years
partner for sure unless you only have one friend, breaking up with a friend would be way less stressful because you have many more to lean on i've had many friends in my life i've cut out for whatever feels liberating to not be smothered by their issues anymore...whereas with a boyfriend, you miss the companionship and love you got from them and it takes longer to realize you don't miss their stressful issues
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