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Bring up Your Ex, Or Leave it in the Past?

I'm glad we live in a time where it's more accepted to date multiple guys at once. You have to meet a lot of different men in order to figure out what you like and what you don't like. It helps you to decide what qualities are important to you when it comes to finding your soul mate.

I was always told never to bring up past relationships when you meet someone new. It's always kind of uncomfortable to bring up an ex-boyfriend and going through the list of all the horrible things he did (or didn't do). Everyone's got a sob story or a bizarre story for that matter, but do you think you should stay mum about your past? What if a new guy asks about your previous love life? What if he pokes and prods and wants to hear the details of what you weren't happy with, so he can be sure history doesn't repeat itself? Do you think it could actually benefit you to talk about it?

Ladies, we all have different opinions so tell me what do you think? Is talking about your ex-boyfriends strictly taboo, or does it depend on the situation?


Join The Conversation
Eternity Eternity 9 years
i think its a bad idea, but unfrotunately it can be hard not to when HE is the one that makes you talk about it. just remember to never ever talk about things you don't want used against you later
PinkNC PinkNC 9 years
If you're mature and have truly moved on then you won't do it. Unless you're selfish and just want to hurt someones feeling when comparing them to each other face to rude...and childish.
Random2 Random2 9 years
I kept hearing bits and pieces about my boyfriend's ex, and he never really gave me any details, which just made me worry more. So I finally talked to his best friend about her, and got it cleared up. So, if you choose to bring up an ex, make sure your current significant other gets more than few worrying details. They do more harm then good, usually.
sass317 sass317 9 years
Im friends with my husbands exgf- but she is married to his best friend and shes a nice person- so there is no jealousy or weirdness there at all. He knows about my ex's- not details about all of them, obviously, but the guy I was with before I met my husband did a lot of damage so I felt like he needed to know some of the things he did so he could understand where I was coming from.
yoan190 yoan190 9 years
It depends on the relationship between my husband - me - the ex. If we get along, it doesn't matter to talk about the ex or even go out with him / her. Vice versa.
pink_magnetism pink_magnetism 9 years
I don't think there should be in depth conversations about your exes.
Muirnea Muirnea 9 years
I think that couples shouldn't talk about past relationships until they are pretty comfortable and secure in their own relationship, after that then it is ok and I think an important discussion to have. If "person one asks about past relationships early into the new relationship and person two also feels comfortable enough to talk about it then thats fine too, but if person one asks and person two doesn't want to discuss it at that point, then I don't think they should discuss it because that can make one or both people jealous or insecure and it can make the relationship awkward.
Marci Marci 9 years
Once again, I bow to popgoestheworld. She just always makes so much sense! And that's how I operate, too.
cravinsugar cravinsugar 9 years
I talk to my boyfriend about everything. I can't imagine not. I mentioned before that I have told him on occassion, but, some of you are saying nto to tell at all! We share the good and bad parts of our lives, and i dated my ex for like 3 years. I can't talk to him about my past and not include the ex. not do i want to.
pandamonkey22 pandamonkey22 9 years
only tell them if they ask and only answer the question don't say alot just keep it to the point then i think it would be ok
indielove indielove 9 years
my mom always told me that you should never tell a guy you're dating that an ex cheated on you. she said that the new guy may feel that because someone else disrespected you in that way, that he might do that to you too. also, that kind of info is something he could possibly throw back in your face at some point. i don't know. i really never knew how to use that advice....i mean are those reasons truly valid? if the new guy in your life treats you that way then he's not a good person to be with now is he? i don't think so. i think that person should divulge as much information as she/he wishes. personally, i wouldn't tell too much(not unnecessary). i , too, have trust issues and would have to be sure that the person i'm with is trustworthy.
LaLaLaurie06 LaLaLaurie06 9 years
i agree, popgoestheworld. the details are not that necessary.
bellanatella bellanatella 9 years
Would never do that to someone I liked.
MiyabiNa MiyabiNa 9 years
I don't think it's approprite to bring up ex's in the beginning of a new relationship, but its definitely important to talk about it later when you're both comfortable. It's nice to know who they are and what kind of people they were cuz it can really tell a lot about your current SO by who they've dated and what kinds of things they did in life. It's also nice to find out what they liked or disliked about their ex's (behaviour and such) so you can see if you do the same types of things (and if it's a bad thing, then you can change it). So yeah, definitely a good thing to talk about about it eventually, just not in the beginning when you should be getting comfy with eachother.
cravinsugar cravinsugar 9 years
well 1- i think it depends on the situation. For instance, I hadn't brought up my ex yet, and we had gone to waffle house one night after a late night movie, and someone from a previous life, who was totally buzzin, started asking me how my ex was and why he wasn't here with me (we don't keep in touch so she didn't know we had broken up) I told her we were broken up, and introduced her to the new man, and she just kept asking about the ex haha. 2-sometimes you have too. Like, I was having a hard time understanding i could traut my current boyf fully because of how betraying my ex was. So, i told my boyf about him and what he did, so he would better understand what was going on underneath. I ask about his ex (or used to) so i would know how not to act hahahahaha
Lovely_1 Lovely_1 9 years
I don't bring him up all the time, once in awhile I do...if it just comes up. I mean we dated for 2 years, that would be like me cutting those 2 years out of my life. I'll just say oh yea when me and (insert ex-boyfriend) went to Europe we tried this wine...or soemthing like that. I don't start talking about him, I just mention him. Every now and then we both talk about our exes (usually in hate lol) but it helps us both and we are both pretty comfortable with it. Once my boyfriend even met my ex and shook his hand!
popgoestheworld popgoestheworld 9 years
I have friendly relationships with all my exes, and my current BF has met a couple of them even. I tell stories about them just like I would about any old friend. But that is very different than commenting about how they were in bed, how much I loved them or whatever. I don't really talk much about the details of the past relationship, unless I consider it to be relevant. For example, I told my current BF that I was cheated on by my last 2 boyfriends because it had an affect on my ability to trust someone. I didn't go into sordid details but I did feel like it was important in informing him my current state of mind.
Advah Advah 9 years
Bringing up your ex all the time is unfair for your current bf, because it's so easy to start comparing people and relationships - which no one should do. On the other hand, never mentioning your ex is just as stressful because it's still like having this 3rd person/ghost in the relationship, it's driven me crazy before. Guess it's all about finding the right balance and making sure that the other person is comfortable with hearing stories that involve exes. But in any case, each person has a past so it's ridiculous trying to pretend things like an ex don't exist.
Beaner Beaner 9 years
I think it depends on the situation. I talk about my Ex because my fiance and my Ex are actually friends. He doesn't care because he knows we're together now. He's really understanding. But for someone else who's really jealous, I bet they wouldn't want to hear an Ex's name whatsoever, even if you were saying something about how bad the relationship was.
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