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Broke Up Via Text Message

"He Dumped Me Via Text — Now What?"

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

My boyfriend and I had been dating for six months and we got along great. We had a connection from the first date that was unbelievable and we never fought. The sex was amazing. I paid for his rent for a few months — plus food and just odds and ends. I did it so that he wouldn't be homeless and so that he could eat. I did it out of the kindness of my own heart and I told him I knew I'd get it back because he'd be in my life for a long time. I even suggested that he move in with me because he was starting school and wouldn't have much time to work. He joked about it, but said to wait until his lease was up. As I said, he was having a hard time financially and I haven't had too many relationships, so I was kind of winging it and doing the best I could. In my opinion, he should've been more direct with me. He shouldn't have joked about it.

I even took him on a mini-vacation before school so that he could take a break and see the ocean. On the way home, I found out that my uncle was in hospice. I broke down and sobbed and it affected him so much that he started crying as well, so I know that he cares about me. He also said that he hated taking money from me, but what was I going to do? Have my guy be homeless and hungry?


He'd been in a verbally abusive, on-and-off relationship for six years that ended six months before we met. He still had pictures of her on his computer but he called her "The Bitch." I knew in my heart he wasn't really over her, but I also knew that he didn't want to be with her. Then, out of the blue — about two weeks after the mini-vacation — he sent me a long text: "Honey, I love you, I really do and I don't want to lose what we have because I love spending time with you and I don't want to lose that. I love you but I'm not in love with you." He knew I was an emotional person and I was already going through a tough time with my sick uncle, but he still sent me that text when I was at work. I was a wreck.

He also said that moving in with me would be unfair to me because he wasn't ready for that kind of a relationship with me. I respect him for that, but I don't respect him for how he did it. I texted him my own long texts to let him know how I felt. I let him know that he shouldn't have joked about moving in because then I would've taken him seriously. Honestly, all we did was laugh when we were together. I could understand it all more if we'd fought or disagreed about a lot of things, but there weren't any problems. I haven't made contact with him in six days. Did I handle this the right way? Should I do anything else?

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously on Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

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