Skip Nav
10 Easy Ways to Get the Spark Back in Your Marriage
6 Things It's OK to Reveal on a First Date
Our Favorite Books of the Year (So Far) — You Won't Be Able to Put Them Down!

To Call or Not?

This post comes from Group Therapy in our TrèsSugar Community. Feel free to add your advice in the comments!

So I meet a guy through a friend of mine and I've see him a few times within the following month. We have great talks when we do get together and a really great connection. I saw him this weekend at a Christmas party and he kissed me on the cheek good night. So my question is — when does a person pick up the phone and call? I know it's all "the guy likes the chase" and all that jazz, but is it appropriate for me to get the number from my friend and just call him up and say "Hey lets hang out?" How does one draw a line for when to and when not to call . . . or just wait. Twenty-first century and all, but are we really there yet?

There's lots of great stuff going on in our community — join it, check it out, share your posts or advice in the great groups and maybe we'll feature it here on TrèsSugar!

Image Source: Getty
Glamgirl1 Glamgirl1 7 years should let him know how u feel the next time u both hang out..and if he feels the same then get his # directly from him.just to avoid the whole "how did u get my #?" thing so Have fun :)
bluestar bluestar 7 years
I think you should call and end the wondering. He might be happens!! Jeez. You never know unless you take a chance.
trinitycc trinitycc 7 years
I'm with the group who says wait until u see him again, then ask for his number. I know it's hard 2 wait, and if u feel u can't, just mention 2 ur joint friend that if he asks for ur number, it's ok to give it 2 only him! Otherwise just wait for the next face 2 face and ask him urself!
babyjane3 babyjane3 7 years
im sorry but when i guy doesnt bother to call you it usually means he's not into you. If he likes you he calls you right away. You deserve so much better girl! Good Luck.
jazzytummy jazzytummy 7 years
Agree with hyponoticmix....if you really are all that with calling first, you can at least have the balls to get his number yourself when you see him next. I would be pissed if my friends gave out my number to a person I barely knew. Personally, I would wait for the next time you see him and see how it goes. He has had ample opportunity to call you and hasn't. It seems to me that if he also felt you had "great talks and a great connection", and he was interested in pursuing it,he would have called by now, or at least hinted at getting together in the future. No guy is too busy to call a girl that they are really interested in. If you decide to get his number without his knowing about it and calling him, I hope it works out for you, but just be ready for an awkward moment.
lauraxtc lauraxtc 7 years
Call! Never hurts to try.
hypnoticmix hypnoticmix 7 years
IMO I wouldn't solicit his number from anyone. You see him enough to ask him your self.
mamasitamalita mamasitamalita 7 years
HOORAY and kudos to "some anonymous guy" STOP OVERTHINKING do not read "rules" or do what you "should', if you like him, go for it. if he rejects you, you haven't wasted much time. jeez.
kurniakasih kurniakasih 7 years
ITA with no. 11 poster. I see both sides. While I'm a more 'traditional' type who thinks that if I can get his number, he can surely get my number. And I'm also the believer of if he likes me enough, he'll find a way to contact me. However, contacting him will also diminish any question of is he or isn't he interested, or any sort of doubt and sometimes it's a good way to start a dating relationship too. So do what you please. Enjoy and have fun with the boy.
MissSushi MissSushi 7 years
I would call him. You can't just write it off as him not being interested yet. There's hardly been anything to go on, and people have busy lives, especially this time of year. Call him up, ask him out on a specific type event, and see if he goes for it. If not, all you lost was the time it took to get his number and call.
c4rolin3 c4rolin3 7 years
I see both sides too... if you've met through a mutual friend, just as you could get his number and call him - he could get yours and call you! but then I hate all the mind games, he may not think you're that interested and just be looking forward to the next time you meet. You have three options: 1. Get his number and call him. I'd definitely go for the fixed plan of having tickets to an event or something like that, rather than making loose plans of 'let's go for a meal/drink/hang out sometime' - he may have a genuine reason he can't but you could finish it with 'well ok don't worry - have a quick chat and then let him know he has your number if he ever wants to do something sometime' - then let him make the next move. 2. Wait till you see him again and ask him if he wants to do something and make sure you somehow get to switch numbers. This way you'll have got his number from him. There is the issue that your friend may not want to give you his number! Not in a nasty way, but I wouldn't like it if my friends just gave out my number to people who may be interested in me without sneakily running it past me or forewarning me first - mutual friends or not!! 3. Wait for him to call you. However, he may never call, then you may never know :) You could nonchalantly hint to your friend that it would be ok for her to give him your number! :) ♥ let us hear all about it!!!!
bisou002 bisou002 7 years
Yeah, he's just not that into you. Sorry, but it's his loss! Maybe you should read "The Rules." It's a bit dated but still definitely worth reading. It's a quick read, but could help your perspective. Don't wait around for this guy. Get out there, be your fabulous self, and have some fun!
jiveleigh jiveleigh 7 years
I kind of agree with both sides: If he was really interested, you'd think he would make the effort to call you. But on the other hand, you really don't have anything to lose if you step up and call him and (casually) try to make plans. Just beware, he might interpret it as an opportunity to just get in your pants, or he could be hiding that he really has a girlfriend which would explain why he doesn't call.
TidalWave TidalWave 7 years
I would actually be curious as to why he hasn't called yet...
mamasitamalita mamasitamalita 7 years
yeah, come on, just pick up the phone and call him. he'll be flattered.
jenni5 jenni5 7 years
Agree with all above - call!!!
popgoestheworld popgoestheworld 7 years
If you do call - and I don't see a reason not to - I'd do better than "let's hang out." I'd come up with something specific to ask him to do with you. Like, "hey, I have tickets to such and such a show and would love to have you join me." It sounds much more confident and purposeful than "let's get together sometime." If he's into it, he'll say yes. And if there's a conflict, he'll make an effort to see you some other time. Good luck.
gorgeousara gorgeousara 7 years
you should really call
Venus1 Venus1 7 years
Go for it! So many of these things never happen because each person is waiting for the other! Good luck, x
7-Day Sex Challenge
Can You Love Two People at the Same Time?
Romantic Halloween Couples Costumes
What Is Travel Dating?
From Our Partners
Latest Love
All the Latest From Ryan Reynolds