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Can I Invite Girls to my Bachelorette Party that are not invited to the Wedding?

Dear Sugar,
I am sending out invitations to my bachelorette party and it just occurred to me that I am inviting girls that are not invited to my wedding. Is that considered poor etiquette? -- Clueless Cameron

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

Dear Clueless Cameron--

I am glad you wrote to me before you sent off those invites! The bachelorette party, just like any engagement party or wedding shower leading up to the big day, is meant for guests whom you intend to invite to your wedding. Since the bachelorette party is typically the last event before your wedding, I do think it would be considered poor etiquette to invite people who are not welcome at your wedding.

At the bachelorette party, there will be a lot of conversation about the wedding that is bound to make uninvited guests feel uncomfortable and left out. It is perfectly acceptable to invite girls who are not in your wedding party, and while this decision is completely discretionary, I would lean against opening the invitation to those not going to your wedding. While you might feel the more the merrier, you don't want to hurt anyone's feelings! Congratulations and have fun!


Join The Conversation
Candybee Candybee 10 years
Ugh! I feel bad. I have invited (already) 4 girls that were not invited to the wedding. I am having a destination wedding and so only super close friends were invited. However, I did invite some girls from work to the "bachelorette party" because, to be honest a few of them asked me about it. If I was having one, etc. Is this bad? Can't I just use the "Destination Wedding" excuse?
bookgirl bookgirl 10 years
At my best friend's bachelorette party there was girl that came that wasn't invited to the wedding. One of the other bridesmaids, that wasn't as close with the rest of us, asked the bride if she could invite her friend that we all had met before so she could be more comfortable. We all had a good time.
junebrug junebrug 10 years
I agree with the others. It looks like you're trying to get gifts out of people you didn't consider fit to invite to your big day. I understand that may be far from the truth, but that's how it LOOKS.
pink_magnetism pink_magnetism 10 years
I was invited to a Bachelorette party for a girl whose wedding I wasn't invited to, and I was fine with it. I guess it depends if you think they would find it offensive or not.
Marci Marci 10 years
I'd be insulted if I was asked to the Bachelorette Party and not the wedding. I say no.
Lagasse2005 Lagasse2005 10 years
Most people have someone else plan the party, maybe they can be your "scapegoat" they wouldn't know any better right?
katie225 katie225 10 years
traditional etiquette states that you shouldn't invite people to wedding functions (i.e., reception dinner, bridal shower, etc.) who aren't invited to the wedding. the end. do it if you want to, but be prepared for the embarrassment.
popgoestheworld popgoestheworld 10 years
There is a girl friend I have in the city who I'm only so so friends with, not because I don't think she's great, but because we just have never spent a lot of time together. I never in a million years expected to be invited to the wedding. But I swear I was hoping to be invited to the bachelorette party! And since my close friend organized the party for her, I ended up being invited, though I couldn't go. But if I could have, I definitely would have! And I wouldn't have been bitter AT ALL. If it's done right, it might be okay to hang with these so less close friends might be thrilled to have a fun night out with you.
pinupsweetheart pinupsweetheart 10 years
I agree. It is bad. Don't do it. It looks very tacky.
andaman andaman 10 years
I would say it is quite inconsidered of you to invite them. If you have time, stop the invites.
MrsJigglesworth MrsJigglesworth 10 years
Don't do it!!! I think this is definitely poor etiquette. Only invite those that are invited to your wedding. Have fun!
nicachica nicachica 10 years
btw, i LOVE these new comment boxes. i feel like i'm in a comic book or something... Bluejeanie, it works even better with your avatar! :)
nicachica nicachica 10 years
i hope you didn't send the invites out already! good save on the second-guessing.
bluejeanie bluejeanie 10 years
why would you do that? don't.
cubadog cubadog 10 years
I agree. Not a very nice thing to do.
ash_marisa ash_marisa 10 years
Unless you are doing a small family-only wedding, then it sounds like a bad idea.
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