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Closure Is Under Rated

Dear Sugar
I started dating a friend of a friend. He is the kind of guy who is liked by all so when my friends wanted to set me up with him, I took the chance. Everything started off well, he was the perfect gentleman, he called when he said he would call, was never late for our dates, etc. Our bi-weekly dinners turned into weekends together and meeting of friends and I was really excited.

All of a sudden, out of left field, he never called me again. Our last conversation was making plans to see each other, he said he would call, and a month later, my phone still hasn't rung. I keep asking myself if it was something I did, but I am coming up short. I thought that we had a nice thing going.

The holidays are here and I know that I am bound to run into him as we have mutual friends. How do I react when and if I see him? I want to ask him why he's completely stopped contacting me, but don't want to come off as pathetic. It seems so simple to just say let it go, but I just can't. Left in the Dark Lori

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

Dear Left in the Dark Lori
Have you ever read He's Just Not That Into You? I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it sounds like he just wasn't interested after all. Unless something horrible has happened to him or someone in his family, there is no reason why he is leaving you hanging... chalk it up to poor etiquette.

Since this guy is in your circle of friends, can you do some investigative research to get some answers? There is nothing worse than not having closure or not knowing what went wrong, so I can understand your preoccupation. Chances are he got spooked and instead of being honest with you, he took the easy way out.

Since you are bound to run into him this holiday, be the bigger person and don't play into his childish game. Don't go out of your way to talk to him, but if the opportunity presents itself, nonchalantly say something like this:

"Hi stranger, it's nice to see you're OK.. I was beginning to think you dropped off the face of the earth since it has been so long since I've heard from you."

Hopefully he will have an explanation for his disrespectful ways and you can have the closure you are looking for. If not, try your best to shrug him off. Happy holidays and remember, this is his loss, not yours.

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