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Coming Out Of Your Shell

Dear Sugar
I am a freshman in college and have never had a boyfriend. I have gone to an all girls school my whole life and don't have much experience socializing with guys. It seems like whenever I like someone, I am mean to them.

I don't intend to offend anyone, but I just get so uncomfortable. I really want to meet people and I am hoping you can give me some advice so I can break this cycle I have created for myself. Awkward Alexandra

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

Dear Awkward Alexandra
Being in a new environment is bound to be nerve wracking so don't be too hard on yourself. What is it that makes you so nervous when talking to guys? Do you have the same apprehension when talking to girls you don't know?

You could be experiencing some social anxiety and your offensive jabs are slipping out like a nervous tick, so working on your self confidence is a must. Try confiding in an outgoing girlfriend. Ask her to give you some ideas for conversation starters.

When you are talking to a guy, try to relax and be yourself. Sometimes women try to act a certain way or concentrate too much on saying the right thing to impress guys that it just comes out all wrong. If you be yourself, the conversation will flow much more naturally and your inner personality will come through.

The more you socialize with members of the opposite sex, the easier it will get. Meeting new friends is somewhat daunting, but try to remember that the other freshmen are in the same boat as you are. Good luck to you.

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