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Contacting an Ex to Apologize

Group Therapy: When Is It OK to Contact My Ex to Apologize?

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!


Well I broke up with my boyfriend of two years on Saturday. This isn't exactly the first time I've broken up with him; I tend to do it a lot out of anger, but it's always temporary and everything turns out fine afterward. If it helps you to understand me, I'm a pisces so I tend to get over emotional. The reason that I broke up with him was because I felt like he wasn't putting in much of an effort for our relationship. Neither one of us works because we are full-time students, so there is plenty of time for us to see each other. I get a little pissed when I hear that he makes plans to hang out with his friends, but doesn't make the effort to spend quality time with me.

On Saturday we had a date planned. We hadn't seen each other since Tuesday, and I missed him. That night about 30 minutes before he was supposed to pick me up, he called me to say that he went to visit his mom and she opened up to him about her distant relationship with his stepfather. During their conversation she got a bit teary eyed, so my boyfriend made the decision to cancel our date to stay with her for support. I admit that I acted selfishly and I should have been more understanding. I realize that now. I never meant to make it seem like I wanted to to be a bigger priority then his mother. That was not in any way my intention.


Since I've acted out of anger before, I know I've pushed him to the edge. I want to apologize for my harsh words and selfish act. I don't expect him to take me back, but I still feel that I need to get this off of my chest. I do still want to be with him, but of course, like many couples, we have our share of problems. How much time should I allow to pass before I make an attempt to see him? And under what method should I speak with him? I want to do this face to face, but knowing how he is when he is pissed, he probably wouldn't pick up a call from me to plan a meeting. I know his class schedule, so should I casually bump into him on campus and request a private word?

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously to Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

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