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Could I Be Pregnant From Foreplay?

Dear Sugar
I am 14 years old, and I haven't had sex with my boyfriend ... but things are starting to get really hot and heavy between us physically.

My last period was June 29th and I took a pregnancy test yesterday which came out negative. I've had stomach cramps and most symptoms for periods but I'm still worried. Does one missed period mean you're definitely pregnant? Speculating Sophia

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

Dear Speculating Sophia
Sweetie. I am so sorry that you are going through this. You must be scared. The odds of you getting pregnant aren't that high, but there definitely is a risk. Becoming pregnant usually means having actual vaginal intercourse with a semen ejaculation. Is there something that you aren't telling me?

Naked rubbing isn't going to get you pregnant - but if you are nervous, what I am guessing is that you are playing a little game of "in and out." This game CAN get you pregnant and it also means that you are indeed having sex (sorry, but it counts).

Stop playing games. Either do it and protect yourself or quit fooling around with destiny. When a man becomes sexually aroused, the pre-ejaculation fluid at the end of his penis contains sperm. Although it doesn't have a high sperm content in it like semen does, it may have enough to get you pregnant.

It also may contain the same STD's as semen. This puts you at risk for a multitude of diseases. Bottom line is that you are playing with fire. Talk to your boyfriend about a decision to have sex or to abstain. Please protect yourselves, you aren't a little girl anymore.

Join The Conversation
mmm_humus mmm_humus 10 years
You're only 14, you should not be worrying about sex!
heatherp heatherp 10 years
great news that you are okay - just be smart - you will have to live with consequences of your choices.
beachkate08 beachkate08 10 years
that's good to know, ashlea, just make sure you slow things down and protect yourself. you're too young to be having to worry about these things. be a kid and enjoy it.
blonde_ashlea blonde_ashlea 10 years
Well, i've taken 2 tests (both negative) and been to the doctors, i'm not pregnant. Thanks to most of you for the positive comments, they made me less worried :)
lacoste1 lacoste1 10 years
14?!?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!!? First of all, I want to know why you're having sex yet anyway. I didn't even start my period until I was 15. If you aren't old enough to care for a baby, you aren't old enough to have sex. Sorry, but that's my opinion.
honey31 honey31 10 years
No sex is safe sex man alive kids are having sex way too young these days.There are so many s.t.d. out there and one of them is h.p.v.A lot of people dont even know they have it,it can cause cervical cancer.Genital warts are contagoius so be aware of this!
lickety-split lickety-split 10 years
every minute of the day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year you got their schedules covered? that's hard to believe.
Adriana42 Adriana42 10 years
thats why I'll monitor my kids' schedule very strictly until they are 18...i understand u should trust ur kids but at 14 they cant make decisions on their own so you can't trust them to be on their own..
My-Opinion My-Opinion 10 years
condoms would ease your mind....a gyno. once told me that if two people were 'hot and heavy' meaning 'excited' and some leakage is goin' on and you're both naked and touching 'there' but not entering, well she said that sperm is soooo bad wantin' to get to that egg that it could possibly have enough warmness and fluid to swim right on up in ya* keep your clothes on girl! well that's what i would say if i had a 14 yr. old daughter anyway....the keeping the clothes on part..
beachkate08 beachkate08 10 years
at fourteen, you really shouldn't even be thinking about sex, however, as you obviously are, there are many different things you can do instead of sex. you may think you are ready now, but once it happens, you can never take it back. you will have to be prepared for the consequences which can include pregnancy, std's, and even your friends talking about you behind your back. it is also true that if your boyfriend is as young as you, but even if he isn't, he will probably tell all his friends about it when it happens, which is something you probably won't want to deal with. just think about it before you act girl, and even though it's hard you should talk to a parent or even a counselor about it so they can help you to make the right decision. but on the missed period topic, since you say you aren't having sex, it's probably just the fact that you are so young and your body hasn't quite regulated yet. i wouldn't worry too much about it, but if you are, the best option is to see a doctor.
haze1nut haze1nut 10 years
hmmm.....i posted a comment earlier but i guess it was moderated?! it was a long one too........?! sorta upset that Dear Sugar didn't cover any other biological factors to explain your problem...hence the reason i signed up this account. anyways, i pointed out in it that hormones could be the reason for the missed period. it could take up to 3 years since a girl starts menstruating for her period to be "regular" and to occur on time each month (so expect weird time intervals, weird period day length and weird discharge). most probably, since you're only 14 and the pregnancy test DID say you werne't pregnant. i doubt it's pregnancy but irregular hormones due to the fact your body is still adjusting and it's still pretty young. other possible causes for the your missed period could be stress (thinking about being pregnant is stressful at your age!!!), weight loss/gain, anorexia (or being really sporty/skinny), thryoid problems (hormones), or even pregnancy. those are the reasons that come to mind at the moment. you can also be going through one big PMS moment (reason for cramps) also, another reason could be if you're living with any females in your house (like your mom or sisters) or if you a group of gal friends you're regularly hanging out with, your period can be trying to sync up with yall are going to be ovulating the same time and having your period at the same time. it happens often with females who see each other and socialize regularly (not just humans but all other sorts of animals do this too) happend to me and my roomate, freshman year. i wasn't sexually active at the moment but nevertheless my period went missing for 2 months and it showed up on the same day as my roommates period. weird but true story. just be wary of your boyfriend, at this age he's thinking more with his dingaling than his head and might try to pressure you soon for MORE than foreplay. so either tell him to wait...or tell him to wrap it. your choice
jennifer76 jennifer76 10 years
Mommyhood, I guess, SweetMa :)
caligirl1201 caligirl1201 10 years
I think that if you have to ask this question then you do not know enough about sex and should not be considering doing it. That being said I know lots of high school girls now have sex and the best thing to do is get on birth control now and also pickup some condoms. You have to be prepared for both of you since 14 year old guys are only ruled by their hormones. I wouldn't advise you to have sex, but if you do decide to do it please visit a clinic and talk to someone and ask them to show you how to put a condom on correctly. STD's are even more common than pregnancy among teens so make sure you protect yourself.
SweetPeasMom SweetPeasMom 10 years
Jen, you and I are right there together... ESP or something.
jennifer76 jennifer76 10 years
SweetPeasMom SweetPeasMom 10 years
You should need a license to have sex, seriously. What do people think "ready" is? Because not knowing how you get pregnant clearly means you are not.
jennifer76 jennifer76 10 years
You don't sound like a b*tch JustSomeChick, that should be common sense. I don't know why it seems like such an extreme opinion these days.
wynter wynter 10 years
Definitely go visit a doctor, and find yourself a good book that discusses teenagers and sex. Good luck. 14, geez. That gives me 9 more years with my own son. 8( I think I had just moved from Barbies to experimenting with makeup around 13 or 14, lol
haze1nut haze1nut 10 years
you're still young, your period is still "abnormal" because your hormones haven't really settled yet. It can take up to 3 years since your body started menstruating to have regular cycles and be "on time" each month. Your period being weird can also be due to stress, hormones(you're still young), anorexia/weight loss or gain, ovarian cyst, thyroid problem (hormones) and pregnancy. but with your age i'd say it's your hormones (you're still a kid) since your pregnancy test said you weren't and the STRESS from thinking you're pregnant could be throwing it off whack. REMEMBER to use a condom if your boyfriend tries to stick it in you, with the rate you're going i don't doubt he'll probably try to screw you within the next month. (boys only think with their peepees at that age) so just use protection!!!! and make sure he's rich, well off, handsome, SMART, and funny. because if you get pregnant from your little affair it better be with a guy you'll be stuck with forever. HARSH but true.
sanD13 sanD13 10 years
At 14 years old, guys are little horndogs just waiting to have sex w/anyone. Please don't do it if he's pressuring you to. I'd wait a little longer, at least until your mature enough to understand the biology of conception.
JustSomeChick JustSomeChick 10 years
Adriana, it creeps me out too, and I don't have a younger sibling! I just can't believe kids that young are becoming sexually active. I didn't even have my first kiss until I was 15!!! My 6 year old (6!!!) came home one day asking if sex was a bad word, because one of the girls in her KINDERGARTEN class was talking about "boyfriends and doing sex with them." WTF?????? Anyway, my advice to this girl would be to back off the "hot and heavy" completely, but if she and her boyfriend wish to continue their physical activities, to at least be safe about it and protect themselves. I know I sound like a b*tch, but if you're not prepared to handle the responsibility of parenthood, you're not prepared for sex.
blonde_ashlea blonde_ashlea 10 years
meh, i'm pretty clued up on it thing i didn't know that's all. I've spent days on here finding out everything i need to know, trying to find a website to ask about my problem before a doctor :(
Adriana42 Adriana42 10 years
creeps me out because i have a 14 year old sister and i cant believe little girls her age are sexually active!
t0xxic t0xxic 10 years
Angel thats one thing my hubby and I have decided on to start early with them. Kids now days are doing it at 12 years old! Its ridiculous. I dont want to enable them but they have got to be protected. Birth control as soon as the period starts just in case and they regulate periods and clear up the face for some so I just dont see how any mother doesnt get these things taken care of. There gonna do it whether u want them to or not. We need to be prepared
t0xxic t0xxic 10 years
Yes Jen I was going to comment that. What is up with all these little pregnancy and birth control questions? The sugars are great but they are not Dr's Nothing we tell u can replace the advice a DR or Clinic can give. Ur young and things can go wrong but go to a trusted friend and u both walk ur little booties to the clinic if u dont want to go to the DR (no dr can tell ur parents fyi its illegal) and get the info u need and the protection u need. GL
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