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Could Mr. Right Be Right In Front Of Me?

Dear Sugar
Over the past year, I have become really close with one of my guy friends who I have always had a little crush on. People always ask us if we are together and tell us we would be the best couple, but we have always been nothing more than just friends.

I have never said anything about my feelings towards him because I didn't want to ruin our friendship, but as more and more people refer to us as a couple, the more I wonder if he has a crush on me as well.

Whenever we are together, which is more times than not, he is nothing but a gentleman, opening doors for me, paying for my meals, and always the first person to stand up for me. Sometimes I think his actions are brother-like, but other times I think real feelings are there. Should I take a chance with him or should I keep our relationship in the friend zone? Crushing Carrie

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

Dear Crushing Carrie
The only way you will know if your best bud is crushing on you too is by taking a risk and asking him. Chances are that he also hears what people are saying about the two of you and he could be pondering the same thing you are. Dating your best friend is every girl's dream, so what do you have to lose?

Sometimes Mr. Right is staring you right in the face! Since this can be a nerve wracking conversation be confident and honest. Try saying something like this:

"I have debated whether or not I should say something to you about the way I have been feeling, but I can't keep quiet anymore. You are such an incredible friend to me and I have to come clean with my crush on you. My feelings for you have developed into more than just friendly feelings this year and I thought I would confess to you with the hopes that you share my feelings."

Since you could be catching him quite off guard, be prepared if you don't get the response you were hoping for. His flirtatious ways could be just that, so if he wants to just stay friends, you are going to have to respect his wishes. Going out of your comfort zone is sometimes difficult, but hopefully he feels the same way and your honesty will be worth the risk in the long run. Good luck.

Join The Conversation
lilxmissxmolly lilxmissxmolly 10 years
i agree 100% with lindsb. Just kind of laugh it off and say (like lindsb said): "Wow, us as a couple. Can you imagine that? Do you think it would be weird?" ~* “I think the thing to do is to enjoy the ride while you're on it.” -Johnny Depp *~
Fancy04 Fancy04 10 years
I married Mr Right :) ________________________________ Ignorance is not a bliss!
neni neni 10 years
as i read your story i cant help but smile because that's how i met my fiance! we had been very good friends for about 2 years, always hanging out and talking... he even did the whole opening the door and paying for me deal. one day tho, i noticed a "look" in his eyes which made my stomach flip (in a good way). That's when i knew i had to test the waters, so i did! i just flat out kissed him one nite after going out with some friends. we ended up talking about what was going on between us and decided to take it to the next level. we figured that if we were that great together as friends, we're bound to be incredible as a couple! I guess he never made the first move because he's a little shy and didnt want to pressure me into anything. we still joke about that first kiss :) There is absolutely nothing better than being in love with your best friend. Good Luck!
ccsugar ccsugar 10 years
getstinko getstinko 10 years
T0xxic's recommendation is 100% toxic, don't mess up your friendship by mixing something serious with alcohol. Alcohol confuses things and he could always retract what he said and blame it on alcohol. Do the right thing, try some simple approaches brush your hand against his, get into his personal space - see how he reacts.
kythera kythera 10 years
I would just kiss him. Do it when both of you are in a good mood and it's more towards the end of wherever you guys are heading from. Personally, if he opens the door for you, and pays for your meals, than THAT means you are dating or "seeing" each other. He's probably waiting for you to just do it. Men are kinda thick in the head, you have to be blunt with them or they won't get it. When he takes you out on your next "date", give him a little peck, he won't mind. But you do need to tell him how you feel. ///been there done that, what a rush!
t0xxic t0xxic 10 years
or u 2 can get really drunk or u can act really drunk and make sure he is drunk and find out the hard way. lol they say a drunk man never lies...
L7amiguita L7amiguita 10 years
I really like your suggestion Lindsb. I was in this situation...I fell for my bestfriend and everyone was always telling us to get together. One day I joked about it and it turned into this serious moment...we decided to try in out and I'm glad we did. There is nothing better than dating your bestfriend...I can't tell you how much better a relationship works when you fall in love with their personality before you actually start dating them. Anywho...I hope everything works out for you ;)
ccsugar ccsugar 10 years
Yes. You need to take your chances and risk it all. I bet he feels the same way about you.
honeysugar28 honeysugar28 10 years
I like Dear Sugar's advice although I don't know if I could follow it. It is a big risk to tell a guy you like him. I always expect the guy to make a move on me and if he doesn't then I move on to someone who does because unreciprocated love is very painful. But if you are really close to him as a friend and you feel confident about it then go ahead and tell him!
Lindsb Lindsb 10 years
I don't know as if I would profess my love right away.. I would definitely joke about it.. get him in a casual, comfortable atmosphere and say something like.. everyone is always asking if we're a couple.. could you imagine us as a couple? Do you think it would be weird? Something that wouldn't scare away a friendship if he didn't feel the same way. He really sounds like a great friend, hopefully it will develop into something more!!
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