Between dating and marriage, Nikki Pennington has been with her husband for quite some time. The couple fell in love as teenagers and have been married now for 11 years. After frequently being asked about the secret to their success, the blogger behind Grief to Hope [2] decided to lay it all out there — and no, her advice is not "don't go to sleep angry."

On Facebook, Nikki explained that the typical relationship advice tropes don't apply to everyone and every situation. "All the 'secrets' we've broken them," she said. Adding, "The secret to a long lasting marriage is there is no secret at all."

Nikki might not have one be-all and end-all rule. However, she does recommend couples do one thing: try.

"It's about knowing that nothing is going to turn out perfect, that your marriage won't be a highlight reel because that's not real life. It's about being deep in the trenches of so many obstacles that life could throw you and getting to look over and know that you aren't alone and that your best friend is walking it with you. It's about knowing that you can never be prepared for the burdens you might have to help your partner carry but you do know you are willing to be there when they need rest from the burden."

Ultimately, Nikki said that marriage is about trying to make it work and putting in the effort every single day, no matter the circumstances. Once you stop trying, Nikki said, that's when you fail.