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Crush on Guy Friend

Group Therapy: Am I Overanalyzing My Friendship?

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

I just broke up with my boyfriend of almost one year, around two months ago. Last month, I've gotten closer with one of my guy friends. We would often hang out, share what happened during the day, then he would drive me home from work everyday. He was really a great friend, and he helped me cope with the breakup a bit better. The catch is he's just broken up with his girlfriend of more than five years. This past few days we've really gotten closer and I'm finding myself getting more and more drawn to him. But I'm not sure if I have completely moved on and I'm afraid that I might use him as a rebound. And I'm also afraid I might be his rebound girl. So as the title suggests, are we just both enjoying our recently unattached status or am I just thinking too much into things?

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steph1234 steph1234 5 years
I think you should just let things happen the way they will happen. Don't over-analyze it...don't act differently than you would any other time...just enjoy your time and your friendship with this person. Rebounds happen and it really doesn't matter how long you wait...the next guy/girl is nearly always the rebound, so instead of worrying about it, just enjoy it..maybe talk to him and get his feelings on the situation...but just go with whatever happens and don't try to make things happen or stop things from happening. Let your situation develop naturally. If you do end up in a rebound relationship...oh well....use it as a learning experience and move on. Enjoy life... :)
Gabriela-Une-Vie-Saine Gabriela-Une-Vie-Saine 5 years
I did this recently, and while I was already 100% over the ex when a new relationship started a few weeks later, I definitely didn't have enough time to get back to me as a single woman...which caused some issues with the friend. Take things REALLY REALLY SLOW!
henna-red henna-red 5 years
I agree, it's a common experience that's bringing you together. It's an unhappy experience. Take the time to be best friends. Take the time to find the great experiences you have in common, and to make new common experiences. Absolutely right, if you value him, and what's happening, then take it slooowwww. Make the investment of time, of getting to really know each other. If you don't want this to be rebound, then leave the sex alone. Use something other that sex to comfort each other, to get close to each other. Really good advice from above. Blessed be, best of luck for you
JessicaM25 JessicaM25 5 years
It is a possiblity that this can actually work out if you guys take things slow. Bonding during a grieving period can make anyone feel very close and that is what it sounds like now. Take it slow, journal your feelings, hang out with friends, don't let this person be your main thing right now. If it's meant to happen it will. GL!
kurniakasih kurniakasih 5 years
You're smart to be concerned about this leading to a rebound experiment for both of you. And it's highly possible it'll lead that way. Take it super slow if you do enjoy hanging out with him, talk this out with him, that you don't want to use him as a rebound and don't want to be used as well.
Pazuzu Pazuzu 5 years
I think the fact that you both experienced a beak up together is what's drawing you together. You were there for eachother and that forms a pretty tight bond. Its easy to feel attached to someone who helped you through that. He was with her for 5 years, he needs more time before starting something serious. You probably need some more time too just to sort yourself out. Keep hanging out but if things start to move in a romantic direction pull back a bit. If you both want to go that way discuss it with him first, make sure you both want the same thing and that you're both ready. Take it slow and see what happens and just enjoy his company.
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