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DEARSUGAR Needs Your Help: The Excuse Captain Of The Universe

DEARSUGAR and Low Self Esteem Jean need your help. Her boyfriend is famous for giving her excuses even when he's been caught red handed. Can you guys help me out to make her see that this guy and his lies need to be kicked to the curb?

Dear Sugar
I have been with my boyfriend for about eight months now. Overall it's been good, but we've definitely been through some rough times and we do seem to fight a lot. The downfall started when I caught him kissing another girl while we were at a friend's house. Ultimately I forgave him because he claimed that he was drunk and didn't even remember it.

Next, I found dirty pictures that were emailed to him from his ex girlfriend. He told me that it was only a joke and it would never happen again. Again, I forgave him. Since then, I have caught him in a handful of lies, but he always seems to have a legitimate excuse.

The problem is that I really do care about him but I am getting frustrated finding out all of these things that are diminishing my trust for him. I don't want to lose my boyfriend, but I know what he's doing is wrong. At this point, I'm so confused that I'm not really sure what to do. What do you think? Low Self-Esteem Jean

Join The Conversation
getstinko getstinko 10 years
Making out with another girl at a party you are attending is a deal breaker
lolak lolak 10 years
None of these excuses are legit, you need to drop him like a sack of potatoes or you will end up regretting it
honey31 honey31 10 years
Dump his ass honey!
the-makeup-blogette the-makeup-blogette 10 years
by sticking with this jerk you are just depriving yourself of meeting the many other great guys out there who deserve you much more!
paigesweetkisses paigesweetkisses 10 years
I hate people that use the "i was drunk" excuse... you need to leave this guy - he is clearly not 100% in this relationship & is not interested in being devoted to you. Don't beat yourself up or put yourself through this - move on.. being alone for a while is definately better than being with him.
getstinko getstinko 10 years
You don't even know who this guy is. He sounds like he has too many other interests girls, porn etc - why would you accept that. Set a higher standard for yourself, kick this loser to the curb and find someone you can trust.
lickety-split lickety-split 10 years
the real question is how did MY pix get on bubblygirl's aviator?? huh, want to explain THAT to me??? i'm bringing naughty back :naughty_elves:
purplesugar purplesugar 10 years
bubbly sounds experienced in this area...
lickety-split lickety-split 10 years
comes back to that post i keep quoting from the popsugar gal i can't recall; "i guess we all know what we deserve". i'm bringing naughty back :naughty_elves:
rkdub rkdub 10 years
uhhh.... ok bubblygirl, I have no idea where that fit in... why would you question what lies she has told? Are you trying to stick up for the waste of sperm she is calling her boyfriend? Seriously, drama like that is totally unnecessary.. it sounds like this girl is a little naive, probably very young, and inexperienced, and is asking for help because she doesn't know what to do. First loves are hard to get over, but when you view yourself twenty years down the line, you have to make choices that will make yourself proud, and sticking with a liar and a cheater would not be one of those choices.... especially when HIS lies will just get bigger and the cheating will get more obvious.
ottawakutie ottawakutie 10 years
Ok you need to stand up for yourself and stop him from making you a doormat!!!!!!!!!!!!! No respect there and he knows it. Next time he asks to hang out with you say your too busy don't answer his phone calls make him think. If he's too stupid to realize what a jerk he is then he's not worth it. Trust me there are plenty of other guys out there who know how to treat a woman right! You know your worth now make him pay!
sarahlynn sarahlynn 10 years
dump his'll get over it. then send dirty pics to his next victim
bubblygirl bubblygirl 10 years
what a fucking idiot he's so gay ass i bet ur better than this...but a good question is how many lies have u told him and how big r they
t0xxic t0xxic 10 years
Funny how he always has a legit excuse... hes playing you girl. Move on you deserve better. Move fast before he ruins it for evey future guy.
krEnElk krEnElk 10 years
If all he ever does is lie, do you even know who you're in love with? It sounds like he's living some sort of double (if not triple) life, and you need to dump him NOW.
nicachica nicachica 10 years
try sending your question to a family member or friend and tell them that your "friend" is going through this problem with her boyfriend. what do you think the family/friend would say? what do you think YOU would say if your friend came to you with this issue? You know the answer. It's just a matter of doing the dirty deed. Get on with it and you will feel a HUGE weight off your shoulder. You deserve someone that loves you for you and will respect you as a person. you're not getting that now. Good luck!
WhatTheFrockBlog WhatTheFrockBlog 10 years
Seriously. Dump. His. Ass. Get off the computer and do it NOW. It's better to be alone than to be with a liar like him.
a-nonny-mouse a-nonny-mouse 10 years
He is a liar and a cheater. (Drunkenness is *no* excuse -- plus, do you really think photos of the naked Ex were merely a joke? Doesn't seem particularly funny, or innocent. I would go get checked for STDs if I were you; he may be teeming with little nasties.) Why is this questionable piece of work still your "boyfriend"? (Ah, yes -- the low self-esteem. It can very difficult to overcome that, but it is virtually IMPOSSIBLE to recover from low self-esteem if you allow yourself to be trashed and disrespected by Mr Selfish-No-Good-Jerk-in-a-Box "Boyfriend.") Lose him -- NOW! Even if you *were* as bad as you must think you are (and I am certain you couldn't be; those of us with low self-esteem do not see ourselves properly, and never-ever do we view ourselves with kindness), you STILL would not deserve to be saddled with such a pr!ck.
purplesugar purplesugar 10 years
Dump him now before it gets any more difficult. I guarantee you are better than what he's giving you.
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