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DEARSUGAR Needs Your Help: How To Make The First Move

DEARSUGAR and Shy Shauntrice need your help. Ladies, I know that you've all got some seductive and saucy tricks up your sleeve. Help a sister out and make some suggestions on how to catch the eye of her high school crush when she's home for the holidays. She's been waiting a long time to make a move on this guy, but she can't seem to get up the courage to take action.

Dear Sugar
I've just started college but I still harbor feelings for one of my high school crushes. We've been friends all throughout our school years together, but it seems like we are both just too painfully shy to do anything about it.

Before school gets too far away from us, I'd like to try and make a move on him when we are both home for Thanksgiving. I originally wanted to ask him to prom, but I never got up the courage. We have all the same friends and since we're always together with everybody, it seems too difficult to send him a clear message that I want to be more than just one of the gal pals within the group.

Sometimes I'll ask him to do things alone with me, or to pick me up early, before everyone goes out, but I don't know how to be clearer than that without scaring him. Even my friends wonder why we don't just act on our feelings already. They talk to both of us about it, but still neither one of us has ever made a move.

We both get very quiet when our friends try and push us together and I feel like it's because we're both too scared to say anything. I'm so confused and I don't know what to do anymore. Does anyone have any ideas for me? Shy Shauntrice

Join The Conversation
Anneleah Anneleah 7 years
He actually like you. maybe you are just missing something. Rules of Attraction: How To Get The Guy thats why he couldnt make any moves, maybe he's afraid.
JTaddict06 JTaddict06 10 years
yeah barbie I think your right, I guess one of them just has to make a move, there really is no real advice, I'm really shocked some1 would wait that long, you would think 1 of them would have built up the nerve, but I guess everyone does things differently
BeachBarbie BeachBarbie 10 years
JT, I think normally the guy should make the first move. But in this case she is either going to lose him, or wait 5 years till he finally gets up the nerve, then she may not be available.
JTaddict06 JTaddict06 10 years
I have a similar thing going on and I refuse to make the first move cuz I think the guy should just be able to, but in a shy guys case I really doubt they'll ever say anything directly. The best bet is to get a friend to ask him bout you and encourage him to make a move if he likes you. Or, you can try talking to him on the internet, which seems lame but hes more likely to be outgoing if he doesnt have to actually say his feelings to you face to face.
BeachBarbie BeachBarbie 10 years
BlondeSugar, If I could muster up the nerve anyone can; trust me. :)
BlondeSugar BlondeSugar 10 years
Good for you BB! I give you credit! I could never do that, but wish I could
BeachBarbie BeachBarbie 10 years
Whip, I was out of high school at the time, I made my bold move. But, we did go to high school together and even a dance. Something about being around him made me incredibly shy so, the two of us were just useless! When we sat on a couch he would be on one end and I would be at the other. Our friends just laughed! Anyway, I finally just did it. :D
WhatTheFrockBlog WhatTheFrockBlog 10 years
It's a good idea, BB, and I don't doubt that it's effective :) ! He probably LOVED that you were so bold! But I was shy as a teenager, too, and I never EVER would've had the balls to do that. I wish I had... high school would've bee much more fun.
BeachBarbie BeachBarbie 10 years
I'll probably be attacked by a :MOB: for my advice. But, I had a similar situation and that worked. :)
BeachBarbie BeachBarbie 10 years
I like your advice Whip. But, instead of touching him casually I would plant a kiss... smack on his lips! Be bold go for it!
WhatTheFrockBlog WhatTheFrockBlog 10 years
If I were you, I'd try to get him alone for a short time (asking for a ride like you've been doing is a great idea) and then just ask him out. Don't make a big deal out of it, just bring it up casually. Since you've been friends, it shouldn't be too hard to take something he likes and ask him to do it with you. Do you know what kind of movies he likes? If so, you can always say something like, "You're a Martin Scorcese fan, right? Would you like to go see "The Departed" with me this weekend?" Or, if he likes Italian food, ask him to go to an Italian restaurant with you. If you're too scared to flat out ask him out, try touching him when you're talking to him. Again, very casually, on the arm or something. Maybe this will get the message across and then he'll ask YOU out. Whatever you do, do it soon. He might be meeting a lot of other girls at college, and then you'll be kicking yourself for the rest of your life.
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