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DEARSUGAR Needs Your Help: I Think My BFF Wants My BF!

DEARSUGAR and Freaked Out Frannie need your help. She is starting to get suspicious of her best friend who is spending a lot of time with her boyfriend. Even though her best friend is the one that set them up, she's not happy about the secrecy of their friendship. Do you have any advice for her?

Dear Sugar
Help! My boyfriend is very close friends with my best friend. She is the one who set us up and she is the one who convinced me to fall for him.... but I think that she might just be falling for him herself!

They always tell each other secrets, are always calling each other and she even spent the night at his house last week! I hate that I am feeling so strangely about this, but it has totally been bothering me over the past few weeks. I really like him, but I don't know if I can handle this weird dynamic. Freaked Out Frannie

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Miami-Gal Miami-Gal 10 years
Dump them both. Tell her you need friends that respect boundaries and wish her exactly what was bestowed on you and sarcastically imply "she'll understand". Tell him to go find a girl who will tolerate that. IT's common sense, and it sounds like good riddance...surrounding yourself with idiots is no way to go through life.
Deba Deba 10 years
Im sorry girl... the same thing happpened to me... my "friend" was spending a looooooooooot of time with my ex. All of a sudden they had to study together all the time, next time, found them in bed.
honeysugar28 honeysugar28 10 years
She's disrespecting your friendship. I don't care if she was friend's with him first you are his girlfriend and now she's causing you to lose trust in him. You should tell her to back off and be firm about it because she's not being a good friend to you.
riotgeek riotgeek 10 years
Run. Far, far away from both of them.
Padraigin Padraigin 10 years
nu uh. Ditch them BOTH.
honey31 honey31 10 years
She is not a friend honey so get rid of her and dump his ass!
tifygodess24 tifygodess24 10 years
Yeah I agree with everyone, and they are both skanky liers, as much as it might hurt - dont let them make you look like a fool! Ditch your BestFriend for being a backstabbing lying *itch and your boyfriend for being a lying cheating scum. You dont need that!
sarahlynn sarahlynn 10 years
ask him why she stayed the nite and she what kind of BS sounding anwser you get. then leave him. and dump her ass too.
yayita yayita 10 years
not cool at all
UrbanBohemian UrbanBohemian 10 years
Have you opened up to him about it? I would be on alert about his behavior and reactions toward her. I could never trust my girlfriends around any guy I would happen to be seeing, so I would be careful. I would open up to your guy about it, and if your relationship with him is stronger than that of your friend's, lose her.
Tiinnaaaa Tiinnaaaa 10 years
everyone thinks its wrong to spend the night at a guys house as a friend.. :/ i don't.. if he's really and truly just a friend then its fine.
Marci Marci 10 years
No real friend would spend the night at your boyfriend's house under any circumstances. Lose her. And lose him. No one deserves that kind of treatment from anyone.
lickety-split lickety-split 10 years
um, um, ummm! spending the night is a dead give away i'm afraid. leave them to each other sweetie, you deserve MUCH better. even if it was innocent they should never have done that to you. unless she comes out as gay this is a baaaad sign. 2007?
rubialala rubialala 10 years
This is no good. WTH - spending the night at his house?!? NO WAY. I'm with littlehippymomma, too. Maybe pick up a new male "friend" and see how your BF feels about it. :EVIL:
L7amiguita L7amiguita 10 years
HAHA...I like littlehippymomma's comment!
L7amiguita L7amiguita 10 years
Wow...I wanna know what excuse she made up for sleeping over at his house??? lol. If you are questioning their friendship, then there HAS to be a reason for that. I would talk to her about it...you'll be able to tell if she is lying to you or not. Also have you talked to your boyfriend about how this is making you feel uncomfortable. If he refuses to stop being such close friends with her, then there is probably something going on. Talk to them before you jump to conclusions, though. :)
littlehippymomma littlehippymomma 10 years
i agree with pp. that just ain't cool. dump them both. or conveniently find a new male "friend". -well-fed hippy alien
colormesticky colormesticky 10 years
Nuh uh. I would never spend the night at a guy's house if there weren't some more-than-friends feelings there. She's breaking the golden rule: Chicks before d*cks! Meanwhile, your boyfriend probably thinks he's hot stuff because he has two girls fawning over him. BS. Dump them both.
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