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DEARSUGAR Needs Your Help: Ostracized For Dating The Boss

DEARSUGAR and Corporate Crush Krissy need your help. As it turns out, one out of four couples meet at work. Is what they are doing so bad? Are the co-workers just jealously over-reacting to her special treatment, or do they have reason to feel upset?

Dear Sugar,
My company is made up of about 45 people who are all between the ages of 24 and 36. A few months ago, my boss made a pass at me. I know that mixing business with pleasure is dangerous, but the thing is, I like him. He's smart, funny, cute and I've grown to understand why it's not uncommon to fall for someone that you spend so much time with.

Since most of us are single, we often go out for drinks or dinner together after work. He became more and more aggressive about wanting to go out on a date and finally I accepted. We have been together for about six weeks and it's been amazing... until now.

Others have caught wind of our courtship and are starting to dislike me for it. They think that I am dating him for perks and special treatment, but I am not; I genuinely like him and think I am falling in love with him. Should I feel guilty? Corporate Crush Krissy

Join The Conversation
lilxmissxmolly lilxmissxmolly 10 years
Don't feel guilty. If he does favor you in the office, then if it doesn't work out it'll be just the opposite. (So if you do break up, keep it civil.)
Daisy6264 Daisy6264 10 years
I agree. As long as you keep it out of the office.
Lakey Lakey 10 years
No need to feel guilty. Enjoy yourself, but make sure you also focus on your work. Further, don't feel it's up to you to look for another job, there is nothing stopping your boyfriend/boss from looking for another job himself.
lickety-split lickety-split 10 years
how did you find out that people knew? the way they found out might have something to do with how they are feeling, as in how it was presented to them and by whom. you might select a person or 2 (read those most likely to help your cause because they themselves are well thought of and respected) and approach them individually. say something like "listen, for what it's worth i have started dating jim. it's very new and separate from my job. i would never let my personal life effect my performance at work, so i hope people will accept that this is just one of those things that happened while we were living our lives along side each other." then don't bring it up at work any more, don't go along with jokes or comments, really keep it separate.
honeysugar28 honeysugar28 10 years
As long as you keep it out of the office. Its not easy dating a co-worker not to mention your boss. But if you already have feelings for him try to make it work but make its known that you're not getting special treatment because of your situation.
Kbrooks1122704 Kbrooks1122704 10 years
Don't worry about what the other co-workers think or say. Just keep your composure and be professional on the job site and around them at functions. I met my boyfriend 2 years ago at work in a company simalar to yours, and no one really knew for about a year. When they did find out it didn't seem like much because we never acted like anything other than friends around the office. Eventually, if it's still bothering you look to moving on to another job, we both left a year ago and it has definitley been better not haveing the situation hanging over our heads. Just try to put whats more important as your first priority. If you really like/love him and the job can move and improve elsewhere then make it work that way. But if this job is your priority think if this might be hurting your career in the longrun. Good luck! and don't let it worry you too much!
WhatTheFrockBlog WhatTheFrockBlog 10 years
It's one thing to date one of your peers, but to date the boss is a sticky situation. First of all, as you see, your coworkers will not be happy about it. And what if it doesn't work out? Then you're stuck working for your ex-boyfriend. So, no, you shouldn't feel guilty (as long as your feelings for him are true) but you should be very, very cautious. It's not a good idea. If you're truly falling in love with him, it might be a good idea to find a new job.
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