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DEARSUGAR Needs Your Help: The Sociable Cigarette

Happy Monday everyone! First I'd like to say that in no way do I promote or condone cigar or cigarette smoking. But, seeing as many of you do smoke (I read lots of your TEAMSUGAR profiles), I thought that if you are going to smoke, at least smoke with class.

However, since I'm not much of a smoker, I'm unfamiliar with the proper inner workings of cigar and cigarette lighting etiquette. Both myself and En Fuego Fiona could use a little bit of insight here. What are your thoughts?

Dear Sugar
What's the proper way to light someone else's cigar/cigarette? I know that you should always light a woman's cigarette before a man's, but the rest is unclear to me.

  • When you are using a lighter, do you light someone else's first and then light your own?
  • If you are using matches, are you supposed to do the same or are you supposed to light yours first so the sulfur from the match doesn't permeate onto their cigarette?
  • Lastly, do you bring the flame to the cigarette or do you bring the cigarette to the flame?
  • Any advice would be much appreciated. En Fuego Fiona

Join The Conversation
LaylaCams LaylaCams 10 years
highsociety, you are so witty! Your comments always make me laugh. lol
LaylaCams LaylaCams 10 years
I hate when people light mine for me. I had this one (male) friend who use to do it all the time and the whole time he was lighting my cig I felt like an idiot.
highsociety1 highsociety1 10 years
No amisarcastic, I've never heard of a guy coming home from a smoke-out beating up his family. I've also never heard of people dying from second hand alchohol consumption.
herbiefrog herbiefrog 10 years
the only rule *only* is never take the third light and never complain you know the risks
nicachica nicachica 10 years
i used to socially smoke (heavily) but about a year ago i kinda got tired of it and just...stopped. i don't even feel like i miss it and i guess i put a mental block on liking cigarettes because whenever i've tried to smoke since then, my throat hurts like crazy and i can't even finish it. go figure! anyway, from past experience i would agree with everyone else but i'd add that it doesn't really matter because you're getting your cigarette lit one way or another, so why does it really matter? ;)
Aracelly Aracelly 10 years
Correction, light to the cigarette. Ha! Lighter to the flame??? Sorry, long day at work and suddenly I want a cigarette.
merryunbirthday merryunbirthday 10 years
P.S. I don't recommend smoking. I'm one of those rare birds that is able to smoke an occassional cigarette (like, 3 a month, if that) in social settings...or, just winding down. And, yes, I am talking about tobacco only. --- Check out my latest poll: Would you rather...('NERD' VERSION!!!)
merryunbirthday merryunbirthday 10 years
Agreed--ladies get a light first. If you're a lady and you're lighting for a guy, light yours first. If you're lighting for a female friend, light hers first. If you're a guy, you light the lady's first. If it's your guy friend, you let him light his own. (hand over the lighter or book of matches to him) Always bring the flame to the cig, not the other way around. However, stop just before reaching the cig and let them come the rest of the way. DANG! Now I want a cigarette:-( -- Check out my latest poll: Would you rather...('NERD' VERSION!!!)
Aracelly Aracelly 10 years
Ladies get lit first, matches, lighter, two twigs, it doesn't matter. Lighter to the flame always. Done.
jennifer76 jennifer76 10 years
Right, t0x. The only match etiquette I know of is to let it burn for a second until the awful smell burns off. Then, light the other person's. And stop talking about smoking. Y'all are making my life difficult. LOL
t0xxic t0xxic 10 years
U lite the others first always esp if its female.
appreciated appreciated 10 years
Well if it's a lover light their's first. If its just a friend then light yours first (if its your lighter). Matches I'd do the same. Bring the flame 1" or less from the flame then let them bring the cigarette closer. Don't want to burn them! haha That's what I do but probably not proper ettiquette!
M155-J4CK13 M155-J4CK13 10 years
I am not sure about official etiquette, but in the past I have had many European boyfriends who smoke and they all used to: -light mine (or another person's) first -do the same with matches -always bring the flame to the cigarette Perhaps this is helpful? I was once told that lighting the woman's cigarette is a romantic gesture and thus her partner will always do it for her.
amisarcastic amisarcastic 10 years
the biggest issue i have with this NO SMOKING business is the fact; smoking is being banned virtually every where. right ? what about booze ? yes, i am a smoker ( wish i had never started ) BUT, have you ever heard of a guy lighting up a few cigarettes, then going home to beat his wife & family because of the effects of the smoke ????? then there is these drinking s.o.b.'s that get drunked up, acting like ' loverboy' in the bar; only to go home & whip up on his family. i was married to one of the jewels for 18 years; tried everything i knew possible to help, the guy never learned to love anything or anybody more than the bottle !
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