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DEARSUGAR Needs Your Help: What a Pain

DEARSUGAR and Regretful Renee need your help. She feels like she made a mistake breaking up with someone who was distant and non-committal and she wants him back. Renee, I think that you just want what you can't have now.

Remember why you broke up with him in the first place, and never forget the tears. If he was so great while you were dating him, you never would have cut him loose. Trust your instincts, you ended things for a reason! No one should ever put you through so much emotional pain and suffering.

Dear Sugar
I was just wondering if you or any of my fellow Dear Sugar readers could offer me advice on how to get over a broken heart. I was only dating my now ex-boyfriend for eight months when we called it quits. It was my decision to end the relationship because he seemed distant and uninterested in making a commitment to me.

Ever since I broke up with him I have been feeling regretful and have asked him incessantly for a second chance. Time and time again he has refused me. At least he has agreed to keep in contact with me, however we live five hours apart and he ignores any attempt I make to talk to him.

I cannot figure out what his problem is, but I find myself blaming myself for my unhappiness. I am wondering if any of you have ever been in my position before? Is there any advice you could offer me to stop feeling so down? I feel like all I have been doing is crying these past two months. Regretful Renee

Join The Conversation
SeptemberLights SeptemberLights 10 years
so, you broke up with him cause he was distant and non commital. and he is still being distant and non commital. it doesnt sound like he will change. i had an ex with a similar situation. you are just dragging out your pain by keeping in contact with him. quit punishing yourself and end it. if hes not into then find someone who is.
honeysugar28 honeysugar28 10 years
I think you did the right thing by ending this relationship. It was obvious that he was keeping his distance because he wanted the same thing. Otherwise he would've reconciled when you tried. Give him some space and focus on you. Find out who you are and what, have fun with your friends, take some classes that interest you, spend time on you. Its your time now. You deserve better than someone who's not there for you.
hrhdiana hrhdiana 10 years
Atributing lack of happiness to simply the lack of him probably won't be helpful for you in getting back on track. Isn't his behavior affirming the reason you broke up with him in the first place? I think cubadog has some good advice.
grl-in-the-world grl-in-the-world 10 years
Leave this relationship in the past. You arn't missing him, you're missing being part of a couple. You can find someone much better just by getting out there and meeting people and having fun. Ask friends and family to set you up on dates with guys they know. My parents were set up on a blind date by friends and have been happily married for almost 30 yrs!
angelbaby2 angelbaby2 10 years
remember if he was distant when you were with him-he won't change. Maybe you need someone who is a more open emotionally. Try to keep busy and remember that there was a reason you wern't happy with him.
iheartfooty iheartfooty 10 years
Yeah I agree.....Don't be pushy and it will work itself out in time......I know it'll be hard for the first few days....but chin up, there will probably be better plans for you!
cubadog cubadog 10 years
I am a firm believer in you being in charge of your own happiness only you can change it so get out there and start doing things. Whether it be take a class or going out with the girls. I would not start dating anyone at this point you just need to do something for yourself. You need to leave the ex alone as hard as it may be he has told you he doesn't want to pursue a relationship at this time so quit pushing. He knows how you feel and he knows where you live.
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