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Dating Coach: Would You Use One?

The New York Times published an article last month about dating coaches. We all know that the dating game can be incredibly difficult, but some women are going to the extreme and hiring dating coaches for that extra push in the right direction to find their perfect match. According to the Times, dating coaches are very different than matchmakers, they don't arrange dates; instead they act as cheerleaders and advisers, pointing out less than helpful behavior.

Ms. Slotnick, a New York City dating coach, wants women in their 20's and 30's to devote at least 15 hours a week to the cause in addition to turning their "cab light on" so men know that you're in the game so to speak. Slotnick offers guidance on learning how to balance assertion and aggression, and whether to kiss on the first date, which she advises so the man knows you want to see him again.

Of course their services are pricey, ranging anywhere from $125 an hour to $10,000 for an entire weekend, but Lisa Clampitt, a dating coach and a founder of the Matchmaking Institute, thinks it's well worth it. “We have business coaches, dietitians, accountants, but we don’t have an expert for our love life? It doesn’t make sense. It is really the single most important aspect in our life.”

I know you will all have an opinion on this one, so let's hear it! Do you think it makes sense to hire help when it comes to your dating life? Do you think you would benefit from a dating coach and cheerleader, or do think it's just a scam and a waste of money?


Join The Conversation
ayanaphil ayanaphil 9 years
As someone who hasn't been on a date in 4 years, I can honestly say that I wouldn't use a dating coach to help me fall in love. I would use their services to help me ease back into dating since it's been so long. I don't think the point of a dating coach is to get you to act like something that you aren't. I think the point would be to let you know it's okay to be yourself.
gladjenta gladjenta 9 years
No way. When it comes down to it, it's just another person's opinion. I think it would make sense to have a dating coach if all people were mostly alike, but people are so different that I don't think anyone can rely on one person's opinions and interpretations. I'm not sure if I'm articulating myself very well right now, but hopefully I'm getting my point across...
mamasitamalita mamasitamalita 9 years
if part of the Dating Coach's role is to make these women find their attributes, what makes them interesting and fun to be around, what makes them attractive inside and out, it can't be a bad thing. obviously this isn't for everybody, but if it makes someone happy about themselves and even helps them find someone else to be happy with, I'm all for it.
DCRoamer DCRoamer 9 years
I wouldn't, mainly because I would end up focusing so much on dating. I wouldn't want to lose sight of the rest of my life in the meantime.
hotstuff hotstuff 9 years
Lets face it some people are horrible at dating and if they need help I see nothing wrong with it. Some people are not able to show their date their true selves and end up doing and saying weird things on a date. If they can have a coach to steer them in the right direction I think it's great. I know its hard to believe that people would need this but I've seen Confessions of a Matchmaker and there seems to be a lot of people who need a lot of help!
pink_magnetism pink_magnetism 9 years
This seems ridiculous to me. Shouldn't a relationship be based on the compatibility between the tow people in it? When someone's saying "do this, don't do that" how can it be a real relationship when people are being what they think they should be so the other person will like them?
vunder vunder 9 years
I can think of a million things worse than having someone to give you advice about what you're doing. It sounds mostly like therapy to me. I'd reckon that anyone who felt they needed one might...actually need one.
Sofiababy Sofiababy 9 years
hm im kinda disturbed people would even think that this is a way to find love.. or even anything remotely REAL. i mean come on! it just doesnt work that way. having someone whisper in you're ear how to behave and what to say is not the solution.. and quite a contradictory way to start a relationship any how, right? whats amazing to me is how this is essentially cultivated from and feeds off of desperation-- and insecurity-- two things that send ANY prospect running in the opposite direction. not to mention they charge more than a therapist! && double what a wedding planner does, who dedicates weeks and weeks of their undivided attention to you! the more you think you need other people to fix/mold you, the less likely you are to ever attract anyone for being yourself. isnt that the point? i think if you just try enjoy being yourself and have fun with it, then you can atleast enjoy the whole dating scene even if it takes a while to find the real deal. i personally find that people who are having the time of their lives regardless of the circumstances irresistible.
jadorechaussures jadorechaussures 9 years
Weird. What did people do before you could pay for everything under the sun? Anyway I've never met anyone with a dating coach but sounds like the person requesting one may have a self-esteem issue. Cheerleader why do you need one? Just be yourself on a date and if the person doesn't like you move on. It's not that hard...when it's there sparks fly. Why does a grown woman need to ask someone else about kissing on the first date? Why do so many people in our society need to pay for security blankets? This is very weird to me. Where do I apply for the job b/c aren't most women a datecoach to their friend/s already?
Ella4 Ella4 9 years
Probably, if I had the cash, and the time, but then it would be more as a confidence booster than anything else. I often feel very awkward and like I don't know the right way to behave in social situations, not just dates so some advice on good ways to present your self would be kind of handy.
ayanaphil ayanaphil 9 years
I would use their services if I had the money. I've been single for a year and before that I was in a relationship for almost three years. I have realized I don't know how to get back into the game. Don't mind me though. I'm also the girl who would allow my mother to (knowingly) find a date for me like in Because I Said So.
popgoestheworld popgoestheworld 9 years
If someone feels like they need those services, then have at 'em. Personally, I don't see myself ever doing this.
lily314 lily314 9 years
About as legitimate as getting a life coach. (As in, NOT legitimate.)
tati33 tati33 9 years
15 hours a week..Right now i dont have that kind of time no thanks... Plus, I've always looked to my friends to give me advice on my stupid guy dilemmas/problems.. I also agree with beautiful1nes, I would never use a dating coach because I hate having someone tell me things i'm doing wrong in a relationship...
i-am-elle i-am-elle 9 years
No thanks!
Lovely_1 Lovely_1 9 years
NO! I don't need one!
cubadog cubadog 9 years
How dumb. It is amazing what people are willing to pay for. Now way would I use her. That is what friends are for.
rubialala rubialala 9 years
k8-rckstr k8-rckstr 9 years
no not a dating coach...maybe a matchmaker if i was single though...but i dont need a coach i dont think lol
minaminamina minaminamina 9 years
I look to my girlfriends and guy friends for dating advice - I think this is such a scam. Yeah, it's nice to have someone cheering you on and giving you advice, but I think it's too much of an individual endeavour to relegate a "coach" to someone. And let me tell you, I'd punch someone in the face for pointing out something I did wrong if they weren't a friend of mine or someone I trusted implicitly.
beautiful1nes beautiful1nes 9 years
I would never use a dating coach because I hate having someone tell me things i'm doing wrong in a relationship. My mom trys to get in my relationship and she has caused a fight between me and my bf so I wouldn't like to have a dating coach. my opinion tho.
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