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Day Dreaming And I'm Thinking Of You

Day Dreaming And I'm Thinking Of You

Dear Sugar
I am currently in a serious relationship with a man I love who I could not live without. We live together and are planning on getting engaged any day. I have never cheated on him and have been completely devoted to him since the beginning of our relationship almost three years ago.

Lately I have been finding myself thinking about my ex boyfriends and wondering where they are, what they are doing, if they are single, etc... I would never act on my curiosity, but I am finding myself feeling guilty for letting my mind wander. What does this mean? Is it OK to think about what would my life might have been like if I stayed with an ex of mine? Distraught Donna

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

Dear Distraught Donna
I think wondering about old flames is completely normal and perfectly innocent. Your upcoming engagement could initiating the curiosity of your past relationship. Are you having any second thoughts or cold feet? Are you feeling the need to be with someone else before you tie the knot?

Are your "what if" thoughts affecting your relationship with your boyfriend? If they are not interfering in your current relationship, I think your curiosity is alright. Since you have made no advances with any of your ex boyfriends, you have nothing to feel guilty about.

A little day dreaming is fine...after all, at one point you were very close to these men and I am sure even considered a future with them. Now that you are about to be faced with forevermore, you are just playing these scenarios out in your head. I wouldn't be surprised if your boyfriend's mind wonders as well. If you are still anxious, perhaps you should talk to your boyfriend and get your guilty feelings off your chest.

Join The Conversation
kittycat kittycat 10 years
it really depends wot kinda of thoughts u have about ur ex. if ur so happy in ur current relationship, u should think "silly" of them or "pathetic" of u, and how blessed u are to have ur current man. if a part of u wish to be with ur ex, then u need to confront urself as it shows that a quality u value in ur ex is not present in ur current bf.
paigesweetkisses paigesweetkisses 10 years
I agree Lindsb.. your ex's are definately in your past for a reason
Lindsb Lindsb 10 years
I've found that wondering where my ex's are, and imagining my life with them, has only propelled me to be excited for the future. Those relationships did not work out for a reason.. most of my ex's are people I could never see myself with (ever) again. Haha, so for me.. it only proves that I am better off without them. I hope it does the same for you!!
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