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Dear Poll: After a Breakup, Do You Prefer to Talk or Cut Off All Ties?

There's no doubt about it, breakups are tough. Some people stay in their relationships longer than they should and others cut straight to the point and end things when they know it's not meant to be — since there's no right way, I say to each their own. But since ending a long-term romantic relationship can feel somewhat like a death, some couples try to hold onto whatever they can as a way to ease into single life. I've always been a cold turkey kind of breakup-er myself, but what about you? Do you prefer to take the friend route after the breakup or is cutting off all communication your preferred method?


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LittleMzFit LittleMzFit 7 years
Depends on the relationship. Some I have been so ready to say goodbye & be done! But, not every time. Usually remain on good terms with each other.
calli-gurl calli-gurl 8 years
well, my ex bf was my close friend for more than 1 year. i wanted to be friends after i broke up with him. but he wanted to get back together with me. i didnt. but we decided to be friends. we were, till last year. but he wanted to move on. so he told me never to contact him because the fact that he doesnt have me as his girl was killing him. when we were friends after break up, we didnt talk THAT much. but we did talk on the phone once a month or once in 3 months. but now, hes no longer my friend. i want him to be, but he doesnt want to be my friend. i understand though that it would be hard. but i wish that he would let me know how he is once in 3 months or so
chatoyante chatoyante 9 years
Cutting ties for a year or so works for me, it's too painful...with time, though, I am usually surprised to find that I miss them as a friend (not as a lover). When it feels right to be friends, that can be an interesting experience - who knows you better than a former lover?
heidi-girl heidi-girl 9 years
i completely agree with italian blonde. its too painful to keep talking to them. i need time to clear my head.
GeeksDreamGirl GeeksDreamGirl 9 years
Unless it was a really bad breakup, I try to maintain friendship with my exes, and am lucky to still call most of them friends. :)
meaganma7x meaganma7x 9 years
ummmm it depends who the guys is. and how long we were dating. and if we had sex or not
JaimeLeah526 JaimeLeah526 9 years
I could never be friends with my ex because it would be too hard for me so I'd want to cut ties right away if I knew it was over. Otherwise, I'd just want to be with him and keep waiting for him to say he wanted to be with me.
jennjennnbubba jennjennnbubba 9 years
I tend to maintain a civil relationship after the breakup. No necessarily friends per say but enough to be able to talk to each other and keep in touch occasionally
italianblonde italianblonde 9 years
Break it all off!! My heart is broken, why keep twisting the dagger in my wound? I find it better to not speak to each other, though I am still friends with two of my exes after it all settled down.
green-eyed-grin green-eyed-grin 9 years
I think it's smartest to simply cut ties. I hate losing a friend but sometimes friendship just isn't possible after the line has been crossed into more than friends territory. Also it is very empowering to just say bye and forget the guy. Rather than hang on and end up having comfort sex or trying to make something work when we both know it never will.
burntpineapple burntpineapple 9 years
i'd rather cut off all ties, but since we always hang out together, my friends get to know them as well. and then it's kinda hard to not see them everywhere :/
geebers geebers 9 years
I understand that it would be sad to go from sharing this deep intimate bond to nothing but that is how I work. I can't be "just friends" - at least not until I am totally over it and moved on. But even then -what exactly can he offer me as a friendship anymore? We will always have that past relationship and in order to really move on - I think it has to done completely.
Blackwood Blackwood 9 years
mmm... not talking about actually being friends, but... if you can't at least kindly say hello and make some small talk with an ex, then mayble what you had was never worth it to begin with. it's just I feel that there's something wrong if you can't be at peace with someone that used to know you so intimately, it would be really sad to feel that you have to ignore someone whom you once had deep feelings for. but maybe that's just me.
designerel designerel 9 years
i can't be friends with exes. just the fact that we used to have an intimate bond and now we don't... that changes things. i don't speak to 3 of my exes at all, and the rest i talk to every once in a blue moon.
RaCheer RaCheer 9 years
100% cold turkey!!! My b/f doesn't understand this though...he says if we ever broke up he'd want to remain best friends. But I know that would only give me false hope that we might get back together. I would have to cut all ties! We've been together 5 years also so I think I'd have to move too...haha!
Lovely_1 Lovely_1 9 years
For the first couple of months = no talking. But then after awhile, when I am WAY over it, I usually start talking to them again... It NEVER leads to anything, and it's nice :)
joesbabygirl joesbabygirl 9 years
I wish my boyfriends ex would cut all ties!
brown_eyed_grrl brown_eyed_grrl 9 years
"People who do that, 'let's be friends' crap in the beginning, 9 times out of 10 end up screwing each other and having issues moving on." Exactly. When a relationship was over, I'd delete his number from my phone and get rid of any reminders. I know some people like keeping mementos and such, but I throw it all out.
kiwitwist kiwitwist 9 years
get out while I can... if I talk then it is easier to just keep sticking around.
RustyAngel73 RustyAngel73 9 years
I find it really hard to go cold turkey.
lilwildone1202 lilwildone1202 9 years
in the past my break ups had been wishy washy...were we broken up? just takin a break....etc... the only ex that i had broken up with wouldnt except that we were broken up (he kept saying 'lets not jump there yet') so i had talked to most of my exs for at least a few weeks.. once something is *really* over-- like you have that definitive moment where youre like 'screw this im done' then its def. cold turkey... like i dont even want to know youre alive cold turkey
kurniakasih kurniakasih 9 years
100% Cold turkey. Only once I tried to 'talk' and 'befriend' an ex, it's a HIGH school sweetheart and we were both young and foolish, so the break up was stringing for at least 2-3 months. UGH. I learned my lesson well after that, never again try the 'let's talk' method after a break up. It just confuses you.
Ashlina Ashlina 9 years
I don't know, usually I'm the type that's like ok, I'm done with you, but depending on the relationship, you could still be friends, it's hard though..
Asia84 Asia84 9 years
People who do that, "let's be friends" crap in the beginning, 9 times out of 10 end up screwing each other and having issues moving on. if i don't want to be around you anymore (romantically or platonic), it's cold turkey. i don't have time for the shenanigans.
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