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Dear Poll: Is Age Just a Number?

Over the weekend I caught up on The Millionaire Matchmaker — a great show, by the way! Patti Stanger, the sassy and dynamic yenta, made it very clear to one of her clients that revealing her age to her potential suitor would be the end of their romance — she's of the mindset that age should not be a part of the dating equation.

I happen to disagree. I think age says a lot about the person you are, the amount of experience you have, and if you can be compatible with the other person. I know many people believe that age is just a number, so tell me, how do you feel?


Join The Conversation
sparklestar sparklestar 8 years
I used to think that age was just a number when I was dating a guy who was 12 years older than me. Do you know why he was dating me? BECAUSE HE WAS A CHILD WITH COMMITMENT ISSUES. He just wanted to keep living out his younger years and when I started to mature he wasn't interested in me anymore! I was too independent for him! He wanted a child to manipulate and mould. Man, I'm not still bitter about that relationship or anything. He is now with a woman who is his own age and they've been together four years and no sign of engagement. He said he wanted to be married and have kids by the time he was 35 and he's now nearly 40 . =)
amelioratelj amelioratelj 8 years
I think it matters in some occasions, but I know personally people treat me very differently when I let them assume that I'm older than I am. When I'm forced to admit I'm eighteen, they treat me as a child. I'm a married woman and my circumstances and maturity level are different than a lot of eighteen year olds, so it's frustrating to me to not be understood by personality and instead by age.
Janine22 Janine22 8 years
When I was younger I thought that age was just a number, now that I have some more experience, I realize how important and valuable it is and all of the things I have learned along the way. I like the age I am at (32) because I am a lot more confident, know what I want and don't let people push me around. Personally, as I age I feel more respect for most older people. In the case mentioned, I think that is ridiculous because honesty is one of the most important things in a relationship. On the other hand, it is actually very rude of a man to ask a lady that anyway. If he is the type of man to judge a girl based on her age or decide that he does not want to date her based on that, he is probably not the right man for her anyway.
lickety-split lickety-split 8 years
it matters and it should be part of the history you share with the other person. for women especially, if they're getting to an age where it could be difficult for them to have children, and he wants children, he has a need to know what the situation is. and i don't think it's limiting anyone's dating pool to state your age. if someone wants to date a woman in their 20's and you're 36, WHY would you wnt to date that person?? they stated their preference and that should be respected. never heard of this show, sounds odd.
Chrstne Chrstne 8 years
I agree that you can be compatible with someone older than you, but I know I'd be careful, and take into consideration what the other person is looking for. If you know they are genuine, that's one thing...but what about someone like my dad, who acts genuine, but wants to date you only because you're 20 and hot? I get along with my friends who are my age -- only because they wouldn't be my friends if they were douchebags. Plus, I'll admit, we grew up together, so I can't hate them. However, I have made friends with people in their late 20s up to 40's, just because I relate better to them and their attitudes about life. my boyfriend is the only person younger than me that I can stand...but because I haven't met a 20 year old other than him that doesn't act like a complete moron. It's not because they are 20 or something, but they act rather immature, and sort of foolish. I feel offended when people say "you look young, but you act older" and then go and tell me what age they think I am. I'm thinking why can't I be 22, have a serious life, relationship, career, maturity level? That is ridiculous. I get more offended by the older people who like to bash younger people because they think they know it all. Yes, you have children. Yes, you're 40. No, you're not special. And yes, I do understand every word of what you talk about, and can understand and consider your opinions/points when you explain something to me about something I haven't done -- like have kids. To me, when an older person tries to put down a younger person for lack of years attached to them, I automatically lose respect for them. I don't go and not take you seriously, or think you're crazy from hormones from having kids/menopause because you're old. Why tell me I'm not a certain way or I am a certain way because I'm young? Hey, even my own mother learned to deal with the fact that at 50, there are plenty of 20 somethings a HECK of a lot smarter / more whatever than she is. Fact of life. You're never the best or all matter what age you're at. I respect HER, because she doesn't look down on those of us who are younger.
Spectra Spectra 8 years
Age matters to an extent, but it's not everything. Like others have said, you can be very mature at a young age or you can be immature and be older. I'm guessing most of these millionaire guys are emotionally immature; more on the level of someone a lot younger, which is why they want to date people that are younger (not to mention that they probably want to date young, hot 20-somethings that are there solely as arm candy).
kh61582 kh61582 8 years
I resent the implication that since I'm 23 I can't possibly be compatible with a man of 53 or even 43! I have never gotten along with people in my genreation and honestly I don't want to. I would rather date an older man, not because I want his money but because I want his mind. I have always been an old soul and it's annoying to me when I meet people that can't take me seriously once they know my age. I can't say I don't understand though. I don't like people my age for the same reason that older people don't take me seriously. There are exceptions to the rule you know?
jessie jessie 8 years
age is just a number. the oldest of people can still act stupid and immature...but then the youngest of people are sometimes the most mature.
Pallas-Athena Pallas-Athena 8 years
I like Chrstne's answer.
Ac2366 Ac2366 8 years
I don't think age matters as much as the persons mindset. I am 28 and dating a guy 6 years younger than me and he is the best bf I have ever had. I never notice our age difference because we are on the same maturity level. My last bf was 10 years older than me but he was so immature and lacking in common sense and life experience that I constantly noticed the age difference because I felt like I was 10 years older than him!
RunninginBoston RunninginBoston 8 years
It definitely depends. A 35-year-old dating a 45-year-old would probably feel normal. A 28-year-old hitting on an 18-year-old is definitely going to raise my suspicions.
Chrstne Chrstne 8 years
The only way age would matter to me, just as an afterthought is say...I was dating a 50 year old. Seems a little odd for someone that much older to want to go out with someone much younger. Personality, maturity, whatever else aside -- it's just what would an older man, much older, want from a person young enough to be his daughter?
GlowingMoon GlowingMoon 8 years
Age matters somewhat, but it's not everything. I've come to learn that age is not the same word for character, wisdom, and maturity. I've met people with these qualities of ALL ages, not just the older ones. Likewise, I met people with negative qualities of ALL ages, not just the young ones. So again, in my opinion, ages matters SOMEWHAT, but it doesn't say everything about the person (if only it was that simple).
Chrstne Chrstne 8 years
I still stand by maturity and behavior says more about a person than age. Age does not determine maturity. My boyfriend is not a typical 20 year old, I am not a typical 22 year old. My dad is 52, divorced, parties like he is 21, and claims to not have children, even though he has two. He does drugs, takes money from his parents (they pay everything) and works only whenever he feels like it. He is not typical. I am more mature, and I behave better. That is being judged by what I do, versus what he does. Who gives a crap about age, when you act like a loser? I believe you can have the mind set of a "typical 50 year old" at ANY age, regardless of circumstances. Some people, most people I have met, don't actually behave or have a life that you think they would because all you see is their age. If people wanted to group me into being a typical 22 year old, they'd say I party alot, live at a dorm, go home in the summers, don't have a full time job or make money, still in college -- and ALL of that is not true at all. So what does age mean, really? What did age mean at 17 when I moved out of my house, paid my own bills, lived on my own and was still in high school? Absolutely nothing. If I am moronic for being proud of how I am nothing like immature people who are 30 years older than me -- then fine. I'm so f*cking proud to be moronic.
sprinkibrio sprinkibrio 8 years
I want to add, that if you meet an 18 year old woman with children versus a 35 year old with children, they happen to be in the same life stage, but it takes knowing their age + their life stage to really understand them as a person.
sprinkibrio sprinkibrio 8 years
I think the 22 year olds that go around saying how mature they are are a little moronic, but generally I think age says a lot about a person. If you meet a 40 year old man who is still in the single bachelor life stage you get a different picture than a 28 year old man in the single bachelor stage. Everything weighed together helps you understand who that person is.
jessicaeden jessicaeden 8 years
I think its a lot more about where you are in your life versus your actual age. For example, 26-year-old never-married, no kids, woman probably has a lot more in common a 35-year-old guy who isn't married and does not have any children, that with a 29-year-old guy who is divorced with 2-kids.
itsme3683 itsme3683 8 years
I agree that it was taken out of context, especially when with the other guy from first season she was so pissed that the one old guy wouldn't take out anyone closer to his own age. I think that she thinks age IS important, which is why she sometimes will do weird things to cover it up.
dm8bri dm8bri 8 years
I think age is more relevant to women than men. Sorry guys, but I'm more likely to meet a middle aged man who is cavorting around as though he's still in his 20s (really unattractive, by the way) than a woman doing the same thing. Yes, there are "cougars" out there, but they are more of the jaded (ex-)housewife set. I agree with other posters that the "men" going on this show don't really know what they want beside someone young and uncomplicated (read: unchallenging). Although, I'm in my 20s and if I was on the show I would give them hell.
CaterpillarGirl CaterpillarGirl 8 years
Age matters, and Patty Stanker is a terrible matchmaker, I would never hire a woman who was in charge of picking out the right person for me, and she cannot keep a man of her own, that shows poor judgement in my book. PLUS she is a horrible dresser.
ThePerfectScore ThePerfectScore 8 years
yeah.. the context of the episode is important! For me I met a 24 year old when I was 18, two years after the fact he is the most immature and selfish person on earth. He always had more of an issue about the age difference than I did. But now I know he needs a mother and not girlfriend.
queenegg queenegg 8 years
I'm really on the fence. On one hand, I do believe that it says something. When people think that I'm younger, they treat me a lot different than when they find out I'm almost 30. It's really annoying to me, but I also understand it. I went back to college at 26 and I couldn't tolerate hanging out with my fellow students for long. We were in different places. I would imagine though that as one gets older, age matters less. Settled is settled after all.
xxstardust xxstardust 8 years
I think that age matters, up to a point. And moreso when you're young. If you're 21 and in college, why is a 32 year old man interested? You're in totally different places in life (one would assume) .. what could you really have in common? Some different is okay, and not a big deal. Hell, my parents are 6 years apart (which is definitely pushing it, but kids are stupid!). But a huge difference just seems ... kind of off to me. Not to say it can't work out, but it is something to maybe keep an eye on for your daughter or son, or your friends.
jazzytummy jazzytummy 8 years
There is a reason why these wealthy guys aren't married, why else would they need a matchmaker? They are probably all about their money, and are immature, asshole babies that someone their own age won't put up with. The funny thing is, you pay big money to a matchmaker so you don't end up with a golddigger, then you only date women in their 20's who are only interested in your money. Seems like you could do that for free, but what do I know. Maybe they just want to be on TV.
heatherhas heatherhas 8 years
Age matters. I think that all of the older guys on that show want 20-somethings because they are afraid of the beatiful and confident 30-somethings, who won't put up with thier crap.
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