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Dear Poll: Is Dinner a Must on a First Date?

I just got off the phone with a girlfriend of mine who said that her crush finally asked her out on a date! I was so excited for her and asked where he was taking her to dinner to which she said, "No, no dinner. We are just meeting for a drink." Call me old-fashioned, but when a man asks a woman out on a date, I happen to feel that he should take her to dinner! In my opinion, bars just aren't the greatest place to get to know someone — they are loud, dark, and smelly. Having dinner with someone, however, is a much more intimate way to chat and learn about who's sitting across the table from you. Even if the date isn't going all that well, at least you can talk about the food you're eating!

So ladies, since my friend and I have such a difference of opinion, I have a feeling you will have something to say on the matter too. So what I want to know is — do you think dinner is a must on a first date?


Join The Conversation
rellicDragon rellicDragon 8 years
coffee Always ... or Beer ... and jet if you get uncomfortable ...
Chrstne Chrstne 8 years
how about dinner at home? my boyfriend and i had our first date over pizza and watching shows on the discovery channel. our next date was at a park. i find even coffee and reg dinner dates to be weird.
weirdy weirdy 9 years
i think a dinner date would be a fabulous second date to enable the couple to get to know each other more. Dinner on a first date may be akward.
tkoblondee tkoblondee 9 years
Just go with the flow!
MisterPinkNoTip MisterPinkNoTip 9 years
Dinner is a better second or third date.
belletrist9 belletrist9 9 years
I really like casual lunch dates.
Jinx Jinx 9 years
I would rather not go out to dinner on a first date, as the poll suggests, too much pressure. I wouldn't want to go for just drinks in a bar either though. A walk, a skate, something like that would be way cooler.
bransugar79 bransugar79 9 years
I think it's silly to have a list of musts for any situation. If the guy is someone you really like are you seriously going ot turn down a chnace to spend time with him just because he didn't suggest the "proper" activity? There are lots of ways to meet and get to know new people these days it's not really about how you do it as long as you make a connection
erratic-assassin erratic-assassin 9 years
I really don't think a dinner will determine whether you'll marry him or's just to get to know someone. this is what's wrong with women sometimes. They measure up a man the minute they sit down for a meal and then bitch about the man's shortcomings afterwards. stop assuming he's prince charming over mashed potatos. maybe he'll act like a fool after one-too-many and make you laugh. haha.
mrs-dr-who mrs-dr-who 9 years
I think that dinner IS a great way to get to know someone. Which is what all first dates are all about. Althuogh, I don't think it has to always be dinner that you do in order to connect with the person. There are plenty of other ways to do it but I just don't think a bar is ideal. A bar will only make you feel pressured to drink more which may ultimately leave you or your date in a state of mind that may or may not be natural.
kendalheart kendalheart 9 years
Def don't need to have dinner on your first date!!
Astro_nerd Astro_nerd 9 years
The date should be what the couple is comfortable with. If they are really interested in and attracted to each other, they will have fun no matter where they are :-D !
DarlingV DarlingV 9 years
Dinner can be anything, but i think whoever asked whoever out should have an idea of what they are going to do so that there not just stuck driving around lol.
Asia84 Asia84 9 years
I like the idea of dinner. that way, if he's a bastard and a half, i still get a free meal. you have to look at the positive ladies . . . but really, i like dinner for a first date, because you learn a lot about a person this way; -how he regards and treats ppl (the servers, valet, etc.) -his finances (not necessarily if he's ballin', but if he's cheap, or if he manages his money well. i went on a date with one guy and he had to use 2 different credit cards to pay for dinner- we ate at Chili's!) -how well rounded and cultured he is; (chewing with mouth open. knowing how to order wine. knowing the difference between sashimi and sushi, etc) -his social life ( dated a guy who knew everyone that came through the restaurant. he said he didn't have children, but one of the guys he knew asked about his son! BUSTED.) so dinner isn't so bad. . . and like i said, if he's a lying, cheap-skate biggot, then you still go home with a full stomach).
remedios remedios 9 years
This is a ridiculous question. What century are we in again? I'm so confused. Why would dinner be "a must"? What's so horrible about a short date over drinks with no commitment, just a getting-together? This is just a silly question. Can't we just decide for ourselves whether drinks or dinner is appropriate for our own situation? Some might want dinner - good for them! Others don't really care... so why so judgmental of others' choices?
leeluvfashion leeluvfashion 9 years
No, dinner isn't a must. A first date can be whatever you want. Go for: a drink, coffee, lounge, a fun beach date, a sport etc... I think a date is more memorable and creative if it isn't a regular dinner date.
cheersdahlin cheersdahlin 9 years
coffeeee no pressure and perfect atmosphere:)
fadeastride fadeastride 9 years
My first date with my current boyfriend was a movie and frozen yogurt. It was awesome, too.
JessBear JessBear 9 years
If guys always took me to dinner on the first date, I don't think I'd get very many second dates...I'm kind of shy, and I get flustered in awkward situations. If you don't know each other well or get nervous easily, there's nothing to talk about BUT the food! I prefer to let my more bubbly side show through by doing something active. My first date with my bf was all over town- the arcade, Chuck E. Cheese's, a walk in the park- with a late night dinner to finish it all off, AFTER we'd become comfortable with each other.
sandinmytoes sandinmytoes 9 years
One of my favorite first dates was over drinks! I think it's a great concept because like others have said if the chemistry is not flowing, it's just a casual drink and then you can split. But if you hit it off, you can always grab dinner afterwards or continue the date elsewhere. Coffee would work just as well!
sillybee sillybee 9 years
Dinner on first dates?? Well in my opinion yeah dinner is an option, but a movie, skatin,a walk on the park, or just about anythin that allowes u to get to know the other person works. The have a drink part well not really into drinkin on my frst dates so it depends on what you into.
ThePerfectScore ThePerfectScore 9 years
No... my best 1st date was when we went to the High Museum of art/////it was perfect walking around being able just to talk and have one on one time among the art....
mlen mlen 9 years
i think just drinks is perfect. pick a nice bar that isn't too loud and crowded. i like to go to a local one that has some pool tables, so if conversation lacks at least you can shoot a game of pool! a little friendly conversation usually gets you both to loosen up and have some fun!
DanaBana DanaBana 9 years
hahaha the same scenario happened to me. i was shocked to find out the first date wasn't going to be the traditional dinner and drinks but rather just out for drinks. personally, i dont think dinner has to necessarily be the first date, but i think just going out for drinks can be interpreted the wrong way. i think going out for just drinks should be something that could be done after the first date, once you feel comfortable enough having more than 2 drinks around the new person. at least with dinner, you had the food to counteract any drink(s) you might have, preventing anything silly that might get said or done.
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