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Dear Poll: Do You Believe in Monogamy?

With so much cheating going on in relationships these days, it's hard to know for sure if we're really meant to be monogamous. People usually feel strongly on this issue so tell me, do you believe in monogamy?


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kh61582 kh61582 8 years
Ironically I do believe in monogamy, even though the love of my life is married, but I think my situation is defined more by fate and that sort of thing not whether humans are supposed to be with one person forever.
hillamaria hillamaria 8 years
There's so many great guys in the world, not to mention the only good-looking ones, so it's definitely a challenge. It's a matter of choice, if you want to live up to this then it's definitely ok, if you want to change the person it's fine too as long as you're not hurting anyone too badly in the process. I have an amazing boyfriend but sometimes I find myself thinking of some guys that I've seen somewhere, maybe fantasizing of hot date or whatever... but to me it's clear I wouldn't want to cheat on my boyfriend, ever. For some it's natural to be attracted to several guys, while some feel no need to think of anyone other than their current love. Like i said, pretty much a matter of personal choice.
sparklestar sparklestar 8 years
reactionary reactionary 8 years
i think this was worded kind of badly. i don't believe in "being with one person forever," because i think that's sort of impossible. what i believe in is being faithful while you are in a relationship, and knowing when to let go and move on into another monogamous relationship.
MyOwnRules MyOwnRules 8 years
I definately believe in monogamy. I don't frown on "open relationships" nor do I believe either one is "right" or "wrong" but I do think open relationships and divorce are often easy "outs". Not that divorce is easy, per se, and I'm not making judgements about anyone who is divorced nor am I saying divorce is always bad. But I do think that a couple who marries too young or too quickly seem to think "well, if we change our minds, there's always divorce/an open relationship", as if ending a marriage or bringing in other partners isn't a big deal. If done for the right reasons, then I think divorce or open relationships can be a good thing. But too often they're used as an an escape hatch rather than a last resort*. As for the argument "our species isn't designed to be monogamous", following this logic, one could say we shouldn't be walking upright and we should still be swinging in trees. *I'm not referring to abusive relationships here. I'm referring to a couple who are arguing a lot or disagrees on something or is dissatisfied in the relationship, counseling or talking it out is, in my opinion, a better route.
dimples128 dimples128 8 years
dm8bri dm8bri 8 years
I think that saying it's natural to want to sleep with many different people because it increases the chance of strong genes does a disservice to our emotional and social intelligence. Yes, humans are animals and animals are hard-wired to survive, but humans are highly-evolved animals that can make a choice to stay faithful to the mate they are seriously with - whether that's a few months or a lifetime. An ex of mine tried to pawn his infidelity off on biology...I informed him that a good portion of his brain had shut off and he should probably get some help for that.
emalove emalove 8 years
Absolutely...I've always been a "relationship" girl.
Myst Myst 8 years
I absolutely do believe in monogamy. They are work, people will make mistakes, but when you're with the right person for you, it's best thing in the world.
pioneers pioneers 8 years
Actually, men and women are programmed identically when it comes to this. It's purely cultural that we see men as more sexual or more likely to cheat and women as more likely to stay monogamous, at least according to many anthropologists and evolutionary biologists. (One of my favorite new texts on this is The Well-Dressed Ape: A Natural History of Myself.)

Of course, willpower is a great thing and can overcome the desire to have other partners. It really comes down to what you place as more important or powerful: your cultural or biological desires.

GlowingMoon GlowingMoon 8 years
Yes, I do. Monogamy is for me.
Jude-C Jude-C 8 years
Yes, absolutely. It's no fairy tale and takes a lot of work, but the rewards are worth it, and I don't believe in the "we cheat because we're programmed to" argument--we're human beings with self-control, who can and should value loyalty over base biological urges.
Miss-Senorita Miss-Senorita 8 years
I believe in monogamy because its hard enough dealing with one man and his problems why tack on to that. Plus I don't have the notion or energy to cheat.
Chrstne Chrstne 8 years
Well, my BF believes in monogamy. Has no desire to sleep with anyone/be with anyone else. I believe in monogamy as well. We both do because we think it is the "right" thing for a serious relationship, and the fact that our parents are divorced, where one party was a cheater.
babysoftpink babysoftpink 8 years
sorry - another error. I have only slept for 2 hours last night just to clarify, "if men could have their ways in the world despite preferences of women, high percentage of men would prefer not be in a monogamy relationship while high percentage of WOMEN would prefer otherwise."
babysoftpink babysoftpink 8 years
just to clarify, "if men could have their ways in the world despite preferences of women, high percentage of men would prefer not be in a monogamy relationship while high percentage of men would prefer otherwise."
babysoftpink babysoftpink 8 years
While most women do, most men naturally don't believe in monogamy. They just aren't built that way. I don't think men should take advantage of this biological need and use it as excuse for being unfaithful though. But I also think it is silly to condemn if it is single isolated incident. If you are not perfect in other areas of relationship, you really don't have the right to throw the first stone. I don't think men and women have the same emotional need and their opinion of monogamy could be revised to fit the style and the commitment of the relationship BUT if men could have their ways, I would prefer not.
margokhal margokhal 8 years
I believe in serial monogamy. A lot of people [not everyone, though] have many relationships throughout their lifetime, but each relationship was with *one* person at a time. However, the key is that both people in the relationship are on the same page about monogamy, because I would think it terrible if you thought you were the only one with a person and you find out they're dating/sleeping around b/c they don't believe in being monogamous. [I never understood actually *dating* multiple people at the same time...]
neonbee neonbee 8 years
Yes, of course!
Sun_Sun Sun_Sun 8 years
i absolutely do
L7amiguita L7amiguita 8 years
Yup, sure do. But in order for it to work, both people in the relationship need to believe in monogamy and willing to work through any obstacles that may present themselves. Relationships are not always easy :)
Lovely_1 Lovely_1 8 years
cfp yes! serial monogamy! thats so true tho...
Talldiva45 Talldiva45 8 years
I am one who is not sure: I say this because I def. believe that it is great and it can happen but like others have said, with a lot of hard work. It is not easy for anyone and both partners have to work together to make things work. On the other hand I think that given that we are technically animals we aren;t necessarilly meant to be woth one person forever - most animals aren't.* It comes down to a personal choice for both partners* ultimately. But I love being in a relationship w. someone I love - for life.
cfp cfp 8 years
skigurl, you're describing serial monogamy, which I think I believe in more than I believe that we should be with one person and only one. I think it's nice if people think that they have it in them to commit to one person like that, but I don't think for me that sort of thing would either come naturally or be a gratifying experience. I do think it's more natural to commit to one person at a time, but for the rest of my life, definitely not. I would get tired of being with the same person and I do agree, that it's probably because we're biologically wired to seek multiple partners as pioneers said.
Muirnea Muirnea 8 years
P.S. I was defining monogamy as just being with one person at a time, not as being with one person for your entire life ever. In other words, not cheating on anyone.
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