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Dear Poll: Do You Feel Awkward Telling Your Friends You Want Alone Time With Your Man?

Being in a new relationship can require a reorganization of your time. It doesn’t mean that you have to stop doing any of the things you used to do; you might just need to do a little more balancing, which means every once and a while you might have to disappoint your friends in an effort to spend some one-on-one time with your boyfriend.

Unfortunately, even if our friends are supportive of our relationship, there still seems to be a stigma around “choosing” a man over the ladies. So do you ever feel uncomfortable telling your friends you need alone time with your boyfriend?


Join The Conversation
Autumns_Elegy Autumns_Elegy 8 years
I always put my man first because I'm lucky if I see him more than once a week as we're both studying and working. I do feel bad telling my friends that I can't see them because I'm hanging out with the boyfriend but I also feel bad if I can't see them on the weekend. I work and see my boy on saturdays and Sunday is time for me to sleep and relax. Last thing I feel like doing is getting out of bed before midday, getting dressed up and running around like a lunatic. Even a girls day in is too tiring after a week of college insanity.
Deidre Deidre 8 years
Agreed, skigurl. This isn't something that's ever been an issue with me and my friends. There are 7 days in the week! It's certainly not impossible to have a night out with some friends, a day with just your boyfriend, an evening where friends and bf are all out with you, plus some time to yourself! It's called time management, people. Just don't break existing plans with your friends for a guy, and you're fine.
skigurl skigurl 8 years
i don't normally have to ask for it, i just do it
Pallas-Athena Pallas-Athena 8 years
I think that if you had plans already or if your friend really needs you then you should go. Although if you want some alone time and someone calls you out of the blue to go and do something then it is okay to say no. Is it okay to blew off your man (who could be a future husband) to go out with the girls when you don't like it when he blows you off to go hang with the guys?
GlowingMoon GlowingMoon 8 years
No, I don't. However, I'm really good at balancing my time between my husband, family, and friends. I've been complimented on that. To me, all my roles (wife, daughter, sister, friend, etc.) are equally important, so I balance my time and attention to fulfill all those roles. I guess I define myself by all those different hats I wear.
popgoestheworld popgoestheworld 8 years
This question baffles me. Who would blame someone for spending time alone with their boyfriend? I guess at a certain age these questions don't come into play as much anymore.
Frzkey Frzkey 8 years
I have more problems telling HIS friends that I want some alone time.
myystque myystque 8 years
Sometimes I do feel awkward because I don't want to be one of those people who is known for ditching her friends once she has a guy. I try to make sure and stay in touch with my friends
RustyAngel73 RustyAngel73 8 years
i'm a firm believer in "hoes over bros" but you do need time with the boyfriend too...just don't get caught up too much! its hard to find the balance sometimes, but it IS do-able.
Martini-Rossi Martini-Rossi 8 years
No, they know my relationship so they totally understand.
kiwitwist kiwitwist 8 years
I do it with my hubby... half of my girlfriends only want something when they need it. Sorry if I sound bitter but I haven't found very many 'good' friends.
Shopaholichunny Shopaholichunny 8 years
No. My girlfriends andI are extremely close and we all have a man so we all understand. But I agree with CYL it depends on who I made the plans with first.
CYL CYL 8 years
It is whoever makes plans with me first! But I do have a tendency to give my bf the veto vote..but he does the same for me and his I don't think it is a big deal. Besides its not like I never see my friends...I still do...just less than every single weekend.
snowysakurasky snowysakurasky 8 years
guilty! i do unconsciously put the guy first in a new relationship :( i think a lot of girls do this though
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