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Dear Poll: Do You Find It Harder to Make Friends With Men or Women?

Ever since I abandoned the tomboy ways of my youth, I’ve always been the type of woman to be surrounded by more female friends than male. However, in recent years I’ve noticed that making new girlfriends seems close to impossible, while my circle of guy friends has continued to expand. Though my closest friends will always be women, I find it considerably easier to make male acquaintances. What about you?


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calli-gurl calli-gurl 8 years
its pretty easy for me to make friends of either gender. but i prefer having guy friends rather than girls. its really hard to trust girls, considering the fact that they gossip and blab and back stab all the time. i havent faced this with my guy friends. but i agree with aus, there can be sexual tension. its hard to find a guy whos my friend and behaves like one too.
Captious Captious 8 years
@snowbunny11 Nope. Not a drama queen. The drama actually usually comes the other way. You know that impulse guys have to solve problems whereas women are supposed to listen and just empathize? Well I don't have the woman thing. I have the man thing. I start trying to solve the problem and then they get really mad at me. Actually more mad then they do at their guys because they expect it from them but not from a girl. I can't help it, it's my natural reaction. I have tried hard to just listen and empathize but even when I am actively trying I find myself slipping in "solutions". Some girls can handle that but a lot of the ones I've met can't. As for your comment on women w/ math and science- well actually if you read studies on pre-teen and teen girls a lot of why they DO do more poorly at math and science is because they choose to. They feel it's expected of them or something and stop answering questions, stop trying, and kinda dumb down their behavior in general. My best friend's girlfriend is smart but acts like she is stupid most of the time and this just messes me up entirely. I don't know how to react! Am I supposed to respond like I am talking to a smart person since I know she is smart or like I am talking to a stupid person since she is acting like she is stupid? I'd REALLY REALLY like more girl friends. I'm just not good at making them.
Blackwood Blackwood 9 years
I'm not a person who feels compelled to have a lot of friends (I personally choose quality over quantity), so I don't have much interest in making more than the ones I already have, although if someone approaches me and I like the person, I will try to be friends, but other than that... I've always been pretty much a solitary person, and I generally don't appreciate being surrounded by many people in general (which is why I hate my birthdays, although I have no problem attending other people's parties, where I don't have to be put on the spot like that), except maybe if it's a happy occasion where I actually have a merit for being on the spotlight.
ladychaos ladychaos 9 years
I play NCAA bracketology (and have an ESPN profile dedicated to my two fave teams, the Spartans and the Pistons), love obsessing over the gym, and am a super silly person. Funny thing is, guys never judge me, and I always end up having more close guy friend that girlfriends. Girls will judge me off the bat and make assumptions that I'm either snobby or a whore (because I have a lot of male friends), so they usually don't come around until one of their friends vouches for me. I'm not filled with drama, and I honestly keep to myself (outside of my circle). Yet, as I try to make female friends, I usually end up with the catty ones in my presence. Eh.
jasmint jasmint 9 years
I always thought it was easier for me to make girl friends based on my life through grade and high school, but now, several years later, I've kept in touch more with my guy friends from that time. In terms of making new friends, I think it's only slightly easier for me to get along with guys, though it seems I've befriended more guys than girls in recent years.. I'll attribute that to their dominance in my career field. All of that being said, my closest friends are mostly girls.
CaterpillarGirl CaterpillarGirl 9 years
snowbunny- and your comment just demonstrates what i cant stand about women.
chhavi chhavi 9 years
they're both equally difficult for me.
ESPNgirl ESPNgirl 9 years
I am hardcore about sports, and a lot of men are hardcore about sports... therefore, I find it is easier to bond with men (although I have met some seriously cool women sports fanatics as well ;))
snowbunny11 snowbunny11 9 years
bahar- yeah I think that's why women aren't good at math and science, they are just too stupid. oookay.... I hope every woman on here that felt the need to point out that women are "catty, stupid, immature, mean, gossipy clingy, jealous, judgmental, close-minded and protective of their territory," realizes that THEY ARE WOMEN TOO!! I can only assume if you are making these huge generalizations about women it's because as a woman you see these traits in yourself. Which is probably why I've only ever been friends with one woman who "can't ever seem to get along with women, they just don't like me and are so jealous and catty." She is also the only friend I've ever had who tried to sleep with my boyfriend. So yeah, I tend to stay away from people that profess to have these social problems. Its a definite red flag. I honestly think women say they have an easier time being friends with men because they think it makes them seem more attractive and cooler. "Guys want to hang out with me even if they aren't boning me (perhaps because they hope they'll bone me someday)!!" Oh yeah, and women are jealous of your amazing good looks. And don't want you sleeping with your boyfriends or something.
rocketgirl rocketgirl 9 years
My best friend is female, but I have far more guy friends than women overall. I think the ratio was 5:1 last time I wrote it out; I work/study in a male-dominated field so it just kinda happens that way.
CaterpillarGirl CaterpillarGirl 9 years
I have a hard time befriending women, because most of the time i cant stand them! I have a few really close women friends that have been in my life for decades, but thats it. I usually find them too silly, immature, or clingy
sabrinaBee sabrinaBee 9 years
i give up trying to be friends with women that come up in my life. i only have very few close ones...many are judgemental and mostly ignore me...maybe jealousy? i don't know... i relate better to guys they are much more open.
bellaressa bellaressa 9 years
Right on!!!! geebers, I totally agree.
geebers geebers 9 years
I agree 100% with avettafawn - I get along with both sexes -the only women I dont click with are those that say that women are all catty and insult their own gender. That does not fly with me. Treat someone how you want to be treated and you will attract the right people.
melda melda 9 years
I don't have trouble making friends with girls but I don't like most of them are mean and stupid, my male friends are nice and intelligent.
ayuninur ayuninur 9 years
I have no trouble making friends with either gender.
JaimeLeah526 JaimeLeah526 9 years
I have a lot more guy friends. They are so much easier and they seem to get my sense of humor more. They appreciate that I can be girly but I can still get down and dirty when I want to and be a tomboy. I'm the little tomboy playing football in a sundress.
Silverlining10 Silverlining10 9 years
I still attend college, so the only problem I have is: CLIQUEY-NESS. AHH! Girls here are such bitches to other girls they don't know, and they act like they're too good to be friends with anyone outside their sorority or childhood friends. I'm assuming girls mature and realize they need to improve their people skills by the time they start working in the real world. Dear lord, I hope! However, I also attract good, genuine people (both girls and guys) because I'm honest and a good friend. So, I know I have great gals as friends, and I'm really grateful for that. Guys tend to be less snobby, but some of my closest friends are girls that are absolute gems. I believe in quality, not quantity, so I've been satisfied with who I choose to hang out with, and who I initiate friendships with.
KimBurnett KimBurnett 9 years
I find it totally ironic that this is being a "social networking site for women", most responses here are talking about not connecting with women. Maybe this is why almost no one has signed my guestbook!
austerity austerity 9 years
I make friends easily with both. Both have their own special hazard though; with men, there can be sexual tension (no matter how small), and with girls, there can be jealousy (from their side of course ;) ), but overall I have fun with everybody :)
whatthew00t whatthew00t 9 years
I live on campus at a college where it is 60% female so I hear a lot of drama and gossip around campus :p. When I moved on campus as a freshman, I expected a lot of my classmates to hang out with each other. Instead, I hardly met other females asides from my suite-mates and my club activities. My female classmates usually kept to their own suite-mates and to other people on their floor. I remember having a discussion with my suite-mates about meeting other people on campus , and one of my suite-mates said, "I'm scared of everybody on campus!" In my head, I'm like, "Ehhh?" LOL So it's hard to find guy friends (I've only met them through my club activities and classes). Otherwise, outside of my college, I feel much closer to my guy friends at home because they aren't as judgmental as when it comes to girls. They just want to have fun and joke. I've been like this my entire life till coming to college. Now I'm just learning how to deal with other females!
Marci Marci 9 years
I tend to do well with making friends with both sexes. But the women I choose are a certain type; not your drama queens or gossipy types, so I guess I naturally avoid the troublesome kinds out of experience. :D
Sugarblonde Sugarblonde 9 years
I am with you! Guys definitely just are more open to talking and getting to know. Girls are so close-minded and judgemental (especially at first!) It is sad that we do act this way to one another. Yet, when I tell my guy friends that I make friends with guys easier.. most of them don't get it. (Gotta love boys.. :) )
i-am-awesomeness i-am-awesomeness 9 years
Once I get over the shyness of talking to a cute guy, I find that they're often really nice friends to have. At my college dorm, a lot of the girls weren't really my type of friends. They seemed like the slutty type or our personalities just didn't mesh well, and they could be awfully catty and mean to me. The guys were reliable--always friendly and there to listen. I generally think it's harder for me to make friends with women because I can be very judgmental as much as I try not to be. If I see a girl dressed or acting a certain way, I automatically think she's low-class and oftentimes she really is. I suppose it's just the girls that I'm around, but I think they're harder to make friends with. And don't get me wrong, I mostly have female friends, but girls besides my friends tend to drive me up the wall and I can't stand their drama and nastiness.
lemuse20 lemuse20 9 years
Neither, they're both equal for me... because first I have determine whether or not the guy is really cool with being "just friends", and for the girl I have to determine if she "knows" that we're on the same team here - no need to compete or be jealous, but only to build each other up!
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