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Dear Poll: Do You Look For Romance or Friendship?

In order to have a long-lasting relationship, it's important to share love, trust, romance, intimacy, friendship, and most of all, attraction with your significant other. But since so many relationships end in divorce, you have to really think about what matters to you before committing to a lifelong union. Some people say it's friendship that makes a relationship work, but other say it's intimacy; which do you desire most?


Join The Conversation
lucia001 lucia001 8 years
Romance and friendship are both equally important for me.... can't imagine a life without either of them!
princess_eab princess_eab 8 years
It has to be both. Luckily I did find someone who is the whole package - someone I would have been good friends with anyway (and was) but someone with whom I have great chemistry. It happens!
aimeeb aimeeb 8 years
I need both.
Spectra Spectra 8 years
Of course you need both, but I think you definitely need to be your SO's best friend in order for things to work long-term.
bengalspice bengalspice 8 years
I need both ... whereas my ex would have answered intimacy. He's definitely not looking for a best friend.
miss-malone miss-malone 8 years
"Be each other's best friend during the day, lovers at night, and partners for life."- That's wonderful GScott86 :)
Ac2366 Ac2366 8 years
I didn't even see the both option so I voted for friendship because when it comes down to the really tough times that's when you're really going to have to be friends to get through it. I do agree that a lasting relationship requires both intimacy and friendship though. Intimacy is so important. I also think that it requires a great deal of respect and compromise.
GScott86 GScott86 8 years
Kind of makes no sense that poll...if it's just a friendship then all you would be are friends, if it's just intimacy all you would be are sex it should be both ~_^. I mean you don't HAVE to have sex for the rest of your lives I suppose. I guess some couples probably stop after awhile, but still, I don't know if I could do that). That could be testy. But everyone varies. "Be each other's best friend during the day, lovers at night, and partners for life."
KadBunny KadBunny 8 years
I'm sure Dear knows that both are important :P I do, but to be honest as far as making it work in the long run I think it's the friendship that keeps couples going. You can be very intimate with someone but if you don't connect on an emotional/intellectual level I doubt it's going to last. My boy and I were friends at 13 and lovers at 17 and it's by far the best relationship I've ever had.
strema strema 8 years
If I had to choose one, I'd choose friendship, but I believe both are necessary. My current boyfriend and I were friends for two years before we started dating. Our ability to have fun and enjoy each others' company in a platonic way set the foundation for a romantic relationship.
miss-malone miss-malone 8 years
Both are important to me.
care0531 care0531 8 years
Of course you need both. Having both isn't the key to a successful marriage- taking your vows seriously and both of you meaning "for better or for worse"etc. will make it last. You can't give up and expect it to all come naturally you have to continue to work on the relationship even after you are married.
skigurl skigurl 8 years
you gave people a BOTH option and a BOTH option they will take obviously i love having fun with my boyfriend and having him to lean on and talk with and bounce ideas off of and get advice, but i also need that intimacy and the romantic connection or else we'd be best friends not dating
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