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Dear Poll: Have You, or Anyone You Know, Ever Been in an Abusive Relationship?

To wrap up our coverage of National Domestic Violence Awareness Month, I wanted to take things to a personal level. I've given you all sorts of helpful information and advice to use if you or anyone you know has ever been in an abusive relationship, but seeing just how many of you actually have would be very powerful to see. Blanket statistics are just numbers, but seeing how women in your own community have been affected is sure to resonate more profoundly.

So since this poll is completely anonymous, please share a little bit about yourselves and tell us, have you or anyone you know ever been in an abusive relationship?


Join The Conversation
MickLove MickLove 8 years
People have a way of meeting their psychological equal, and I do not interfere. I could never love anyone who could physically harm me. It's that simple. The day that a guy were to hit me would be the day that I leave. Those who choose to remain with abusers may be sad cases, but it is their choice to not leave. Until they decide that they deserve better, there is nothing you can do to convince them otherwise.
calli-gurl calli-gurl 8 years
physical, mental and emotional :(:(:(
holbrae holbrae 8 years
I, myself, was in an emotionally abusive relationship. We dated for a total of 6 years. He was very controlling and wouldn't let me hang out with any of my friends and wouldn't let me make any new friends. The abuse escallated as time went on and became physical abuse, so I broke up with him before it got any worse. My sister was married to a very abusive man and had to be kidnapped by my parents so he wouldn't hurt her anymore. He remarried and was apparently just as abusive. The sad part is two weekends ago they were in a fight and he shot her with a shotgun and killed her while the kids were outside. He saw she had her bads packed and didn't want her to leave him.
AstonishedPanda AstonishedPanda 8 years
I have know someone in an abusive relationship. I hope to never have to know anyone who goes through that again. =( As for myself...I've only been in a mentally abusive relationship, but it still shouldn't be taken lightly. =(
AlexE70 AlexE70 8 years
Strange how that works sparklestar, but I was also in an abusive relationship with a personj who I am now very close friends with, much like we were before we started dating.
sparklestar sparklestar 8 years
1 in 4 homes is a victim of domestic violence. I was in an abusive relationship with somebody who I am now friends with. Go figure.
missyd missyd 8 years
I was horribly abused physically for a couple of years by an ex. It is the most horrifying, complicated thing you can imagine. You're IN LOVE with someone who hurts you all the time and seems to hold so much contempt towards you. But you are IN LOVE? I'm not one of those ones that's going to say, "oh I thought I was at the time, but now I see I wasn't". Sometimes I think it is such a cop out when women say that. I'll admit I was. Why else would I have went through it? Made millions excuses for his behaviour. "Well, he had a really bad day" "Well, I really did piss him off, so I kind of did it to myself" "If I had kept my mouth shut, none of this would have to happen" Oh, so wrong. And eventually, HE broken up with ME! Because HE cheated! I think back on it all now and I'm so embarrassed for not standing up for myself, so ashamed. I will never hear properly out of my right ear again due to a phone book smacked up the side of my head I will have permanent scars on my legs from burns, and on my skull from 'falls' I wish it on NO WOMAN, no matter who you are, or what you have done. Luckily, now I have a wonderful man who would never dream of doing something even remotely close to hurting me like that. And I thank god every day.
OrangeSugar OrangeSugar 8 years
^^Macchiatolove, so true. I think the worst thing about emotional abuse is its invisibility. I've been in verbally and emotionally abusive relationships, and I've seen a few friends in all kinds of abusive relationships. I agree with whoever said that EVERYONE knows someone in an abusive just may not know about the abuse.
macchiatolove macchiatolove 8 years
well I suppose if withholding sex as an attempt to emotionally manipulate you is considered emotional abuse, then I would say yes. I've been made to feel that I've done something wrong, shut out, etc... nothing super serious, and I'm lucky enough to be single again. I've seen many friends in abusive relationships. The hardest one is emotional abuse - people can't see it as clearly as physical abuse so they stay. So sad :(
reeeeka reeeeka 8 years
I've never been in one myself but I have friends and family members who have. It's sad and frustrating especially after seeing the after effects of a physical altercation. Unfortunately, most of the women I know who are in them take a VERY long time to get out of them. It can be frustrating at times because you don't understand how a woman can willingly put herself in that situation but at the same time I try to understand the best of my ability. Again...sad and frustrating.
AlexE70 AlexE70 8 years
I've been in an abusive relationship, and as a guy, it's not easy to admit. But the abuse I received was often more verbal and emotional than physical. I think it all comes back to trust and respect. If your significant other doesn't trust and respect you and the differences you may have, then it's probably time to leave before things get out of control. It's one thing to talk with your problems with your bf/gf and hear promisses of change. It's quite another to really expect them to deliver.
KAT0002 KAT0002 8 years
I know a couple people who have been in an abusive relationship in the past. I also know someone that is going through an abusive relationship right now. It is extremely tough to see people that are really close to you go through an abusive relationship.
glam-sugar glam-sugar 8 years
I've been in one and know people who are/have been also.
queenlizzie queenlizzie 8 years
I have and I know people who have. I would say everyone knows someone who's been in an abusive relationship--they just might not know it.
Ac2366 Ac2366 8 years
I have been in an abusive relationship with a man and I grew up in a not so healthy home environment with lots of verbal abuse. It's a terrible feeling and a terrible place to be in. I do value myself and I am moving past all this. Moving past it with a new relationship with a man is almost easy since I now know all too well what to look for. It's moving past it with my family that is hard. My family is not going to change and it's not easy to cut ties with family.
Vaadsfweytes Vaadsfweytes 8 years
I have never been in one. I've always been the dominant one in every relationship I have had. Unfortunately, a friend of mine has been in an abusive relationship.
Mesayme Mesayme 8 years
Mesayme Mesayme 8 years
Ever relationship I've ever been in was abusive in some way...especially the one I'm trying to rid myself of currently.
CaterpillarGirl CaterpillarGirl 8 years
I have, and I have friends who have. Emotionally, physically and verbally.
lauraxtc lauraxtc 8 years
I have been in an abusive relationship and have had friends also who have been there. Sucks! Not healthy at all. I am glad I let it go.
lemamike lemamike 8 years
Unfortunately I have been in a more mentally than physically abusive relationship. It happened freshman year of high school which seems very young but has taught me so much. I was told i was ugly, fat, slutty i was told i couldnt talk to guys, wear skirts to school etc. it's ridiculous what I put myself through and complied with. It put strain in my relationships with my parenst adn I allowed myself to be controlled in ways i can't even believe. But, it realy has taught me so much. I can now spot warning signs of a bad boyfriend..not even abusive just bad and it helps me feel independent. I know that i won't let a guy push me around or tell me what i can and can't do. I do feel lucky in some ways that i learned this at a young age and didn't have to experience it in a marriage or much more serious longer relationship when i was older.
kiddylnd kiddylnd 8 years
I have for the last several years. I just went to court yesterday to get a permanent Protection Order, but it was pushed out another 2 weeks because my Ex got a lawyer at the 12th hour. I was finally able to give voice to my pain and made a public post about it just last week:
kiwitwist kiwitwist 8 years
I have known a few people who have been in an abusive relationship. It is quite scary when you think about the statistics! :jawdrop: Where are all these losers coming from?
sundaygreen sundaygreen 8 years
I haven't but my oldest friend has.
margokhal margokhal 8 years
I haven't, but I've known women who have been. It's heartbreaking to see somebody go through that, and you do what you can to help them...sometimes they insist on staying, though. Then it's just like you can't DO anything else until they're ready and wanting to get out of the relationship... :(
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