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Dear Poll: Have You Been in a Long-Distance Relationship?

Long-distance relationships, or LDRs, seem to come up a lot around here. If you’ve been in one before, are currently in one now, or would never even consider one, it seems like everyone has some very specific feelings on the matter. I for one think long-distance relationships are very feasible, at least temporarily, but always challenging, too. With all the insight you ladies seem to have, I’ve never directly asked: Have you ever been in a long-distance relationship?


longdistance longdistance 8 years
Yes I have been in one and it does work (or at least it did for me!). Trust, commitment and lots of love should suffice. If you don't believe check all those succesful stories here: Good luk to all!
pippins_halfling pippins_halfling 9 years
lily8206, I agree! All the talking is awesome... but I guess it evens out when you can't be physically affectionate with someone.
sparklestar sparklestar 9 years
htt3h2e - I think that a sign it isn't working is when a) neither of you can find the time to sit and make the calls b) you don't look forward to hearing from them c) the whole thing becomes far too much effort and you'd rather just not do it anymore. The same for any relationship really...
htt3h2e htt3h2e 9 years
Yes, i'm in one right now. And i find it really really hard. We've been friends for a year (met in college), than dated for 6 months. He then had to move to Dubai for a job opportunity. We decided to give it a try since we care a lot about each other. Because of the time difference and our working schedule, it's hard to find time where we can both talk (on the internet or phone). I wonder what would be a sign that it's not working anymore...
Seka21 Seka21 9 years
Just thinking about it makes me want to cry! I wasted a year on my life and at the end of the day the person i knew so intimately was like a complete stranger to me.
lily8206 lily8206 9 years
I was in a serious one for quite some time and the reasons behind ending the relationship did not have anything to do with distance. The best part about LDR is that a huge part of the relationship is based on verbal communication which can typically be an issue in non-LDR's.
bbrimacombe bbrimacombe 9 years
I have been in a long distance relationship for more than 4 and a half years. We got married in June and are waiting on immigration (I'm Canadian and he's American and he's immigrating to Canada). Before we started dating he told me that he had done the LD thing before and he didn't want to again. It wasn't long before he realized that we were such a good match and we should try the LD thing. I think it helps that we aren't jealous people, that we talk everyday and that we both do all we can to see each other as much as possible (usually twice a month).
r6la r6la 9 years
I too, was in a LDR w/my husband before we got married. it was almost solely long distance for the three years we were "dating." I was in college and in some ways it was the best of both worlds - i had an amazing guy, but i had the freedom to "find myself," go out w/my friends whenever i wanted, make my own plans, etc. but in some ways it was the worst of both worlds - all the "restrictions" of having a b/f (which when you're in college can seem kinda lame) and none of the "benefits." while it did work out - so far (we have been married for five years - i wouldn't recommend going straight to marriage from an LDR. there was a HUGE adjustment curve going from seeing eachother every few months to actually LIVING with eachother!
LoveSarah LoveSarah 9 years
It would be hard for me. I really need that physical connection. Maybe if we talked on a web cam a lot it would make it easier. I'm not sure. I just know it would be very hard, and I would probably be very lonely.
Manny654 Manny654 9 years
I'm currently in one, and it's me who did the separating! Typically I go to school two hours away from him, but this semester I'm living in Egypt!! Skype, love, and effort are keeping us together!
technicolorsarah technicolorsarah 9 years
I'm American & my boyfriend is Dutch. We got together in October 2006, and I moved to The Netherlands a few weeks ago. Between then & now, we were long distance with lots of traveling back and forth. I went to The NL to see him a total of 5 months last year (over 4 different trips), so we were together almost as much as we were apart. I wouldn't be into an LDR that didn't have much visiting going on... Ours was hard enough, but totally worth it.
omigosh omigosh 9 years
I haven't been in one, but I could have. I was together with a guy in high school for 2.5 years. Then we both graduated, and he went to a college in NYC, and I stayed in Europe. He wanted it to be a LDR, but I knew it wouldn't work out. College is about new experiences, and we both didn't have the time and money to visit each other often. It was hard for us to reach that conclusion, but in the end it was the best decision. He's still one of my best friends. I've seen him twice since we went to college, and I'm staying at his place for a few days when I'm visiting NYC next week. Wonder how that'll go!
sparklestar sparklestar 9 years
I did long distance with my second boyfriend at the tender age of 14/15. :p We were about 160 miles apart which was a 3 hour train journey! We took advantage of £1 train ticket offers when they were available (getting up at 6am to catch them!) and saw each other once a fortnight moving to once a week moving to me relocating up there. ;p We then moved into our own flat and about 6 months later I broke up with him! The distance prolonged something which I don't think would have lasted so long had we been close together.
brutalcupcake brutalcupcake 9 years
I have. They work as long as both are committed.
gemsera gemsera 9 years
My beau and I met online originally, through a car interest forum. after me trying to chase him for four years I finally blurted out how I felt, he came from UK to AU and met me, and we've been inseperable ever since. I moved to the UK in January to be with him (a month after we met). so yes, and yes it did work for me, but it was ridiculously difficult!
Jude-C Jude-C 9 years
Yeah, for about a year with a person I was with for a year before he moved all the way across the country. He was a very nice guy, but it didn't work out, because he had no intention of coming back to Cali, and I had no intention of moving out to the middle of nowhere. Just one of those growing experiences, I guess.
princess_eab princess_eab 9 years
puddlesworth - your comment made me tear up. that's beautiful. that's exactly how I feel about my fellow. it's like it doesn't matter - it's your soulmate.
SusanTeufel SusanTeufel 9 years
I was in a LDR for almost 5 years with my husband's best friend (Before we were together) I lived in PA, him in IN. I left my home with the backpack on my back and a one way plane ticket because I thought he was the one for me. He was my first boyfriend, but finally in the end, I saw he wouldn't support me and it wasn't meant to be. Finally after I broke that off, sobbed over so much lost time, I dated ny husband, which I have always liked throughout my relationship with my ex-boyfriend. I couldn't be happier.
crazisexikool crazisexikool 9 years
my first relationship was LD so its the only thing ive experienced we are actually from the same town but didnt talk. He's a marine in CA and im going to college in MD we dated for about 6 months , but decided to call it quits because it was too much, it was getting to serious too fast and i only saw him twice for 2 weeks each.It was hard to break up becuz we were each others first love.. but yea We still talk about once a week
N-nee1 N-nee1 9 years
I'm currently in a LDR and my bf lives about 6 hours away from me. We see each other about once every one or two months and call, e-mail or text in between. I feel that no matter how long the separation is between our last visit from our next, it didn't or hasn't change how much we really like each other and I feel strong connections to him each time I see him, so to me, the separation makes no difference and absence do make our hearts grow fonder. It definitely depends on an individual's comfort level and situation. As for us, we both have pretty demanding careers so we're constantly busy but more importantly, we set aside time to see each other and have the means to see each other when we want to. We're also pretty independant individuals so the distance is not too much of an issue. I do plan to move to his city or vice versa if our relationship becomes more serious and long term and that marriage is in the imminent future.
Jem83 Jem83 9 years
I seem to always find myself in them--either with someone in another country (but just a short flight away), or with someone an hour away. They tend to work for me, because as a person I like the independence, and I'm okay with seeing my significant other once a week, or even once every few months... But it totally does put a strain on your relationship, and you could begin to live separate lives.
KadBunny KadBunny 9 years
*with someone who
KadBunny KadBunny 9 years
Have been in one for the past 2 years and 11 days. :) It's tough but I love him to death. My friends support it but they still don't really understand, but I don't know. Even now I have yet to meet a guy whom I've been able to connect with on the same level as my boyfriend, so the way I see it I'd rather invest in a few tough years than waste my time (and some other guy's) who I don't see much of a future with.
julieulie julieulie 9 years
I'm in a long-distance marriage... and we don't know when it will end. Well, we do know when it will end -- when I finish my Ph.D... provided I can get a post-doc position in the same city where he is doing his residency... but we have no idea how many years it will be until I graduate.. hopefully in the vicinity of 2-3ish more years... I've done long-distance dating, and we had periods of being engaged where we were not together, but being married and apart is exponentially worse than long-distance dating.
kariedaway1 kariedaway1 9 years
i have been in one and it was really good for most of it and i learned a ton. i would actually say that it was one of, if not the most important relationships i have had so far. but that said would i ever do it again? NO WAY! haha
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