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Dear Poll: Have You Ever Cheated?

When I asked you all what your cheating policy is, most of you alluded to being cheated on, but being unfaithful is not only a male mistake. While I'm sure this won't be one of your proudest admissions, tell me, have you ever been the one to cheat while in a relationship?


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tayrose tayrose 7 years
Technically, yes, but I'm not so sure if I'd call it that. I was seeing this guy Eric and we'd talk and go on dates and stuff, but he never asked me to be his girlfriend. Well I started talking to one of my coworkers, Chris, and we would talk often. The thing is with Chris is that I lost my virginity to him at a party long before I started working there and it was just whatever between us. Well on my 17th birthday, Eric and I were texting and we decided that we wanted to date, but he still never asked me out. At my birthday party (Eric never came) Chris came over and hung out with me until 8AM. We ended up having sex. I found out 2 weeks later that Eric was hooking up with another girl. So I'm unsure if I would call it cheating, because we were never in a relationship. However, I did feel guilty about doing it so whenever asked if I cheated, I say just once when I was in highschool.
potterlove potterlove 8 years
I have absolutely never cheated on anyone I've dated or been in a relationship with. But I was cheated on by my last boyfriend. And neither have I been in 'open relationships.'
heatherhas heatherhas 8 years
I have. I was with my ex for almost 2yrs, we broke up for a year and then got back together for another 2 1/2 years, with him telling me that he was going to propose to me, but never actually doing it. After a huge argument on Valentines Day, I decided that I really wasnt going to worry about him anymore, since he didn't really care about what I thought, and just do what I felt was right for me. When I went off to my 10 wk internship, which I purpously selected out of state so I could "clear my head" he finally decided to go ring shopping after I was gone for about 5 weeks. Well, by then it was too late. I had met another guy, although I hadn't cheated yet, I told my ex not to buy the ring. The new guy treated me so much better, and he was really everything that I needed in a guy at that time. My ex and I did not talk for the last 3 weeks of my internship, because he was training on the west coast and he never would call while out on training. It took me a week to work up the courage to finally break up with him when I got home, and I look back and I like to think of that summer as one of the best of my life. I'm so glad it happened because it really opened my eyes, because I learned that I did deserve to be with a guy who really appreciated me, and what a difference that makes in a relationship!
Jazz-Z Jazz-Z 8 years
I once dated a guy, after my marriage ended, who was five years younger and great fun! We really loved each other and would go on trips together every other weekend when I didn't have my kids, but we knew we didn't have a future together because he didn't want kids and I didn't want someone who occasionally experimented with drugs. We decided we would date other people while we continued to still see each other until one of us met someone, we felt, we might have a future with. Luckily I met someone first, and he went to counseling. It turned out to be pretty hard for him but within a few months he also met someone and got married and they are still married ten years later (with no kids), but neither of us regret the time we spent together. It interesting what kind of arrangements can be worked out if you can be open with your partner. When I found out another guy I was in a relationship with was pursuing other women on a dating site. I suggested the same arrangement. I thought it only fair that if he was going to pursue other women that I should be able to date other men. Initially, I didn't leave him because we were having a lot of fun together; however, he didn't like the idea of my dating other men so he said he would stop....but sadly he couldn't. Some men just like the thrill of cheating, so I moved on....strangely I didn't even miss him ;), but he hounded me on and off for two years. I think the most important thing is to be real. Analyze who you are what you want and what makes you happy and if you are up front, you will always have the upper hand and that's a nice place to be.
True-Song True-Song 8 years
No. To be honest, I don't really find most other men attractive at all.
khadeekiinsz khadeekiinsz 8 years
Im, not gonna say "never". I know I wouldn't cheat on the guy Im with now. But if it was someone, and we just didn't have that "it". Then, who knows.
avantgardeology avantgardeology 8 years
Well put Symphonee. Me and my boyfriend agreed that if we wanted to see someone else or we feel we want to cheat, that we would tell one another first. Knowing that you can communicate it makes it that much easier and better. Out of every negative is a positive. And if my bf cheated on me and told me that he needed time to grow and that it was just the time for it to happen or something, shit, i wouldnt be that mad at all. Id understand and be like, alright, you do what you need to. I never said it wouldnt hurt. Cuz it will hurt! Of course it will hurt. have I been cheated on before? No. But i have been disrespected, dumped for another,lied to,betrayed, etc etc. It happens. I just know that you need to forgive yourself, and forgive others, and move on with life. There is no need for hate. I ended my 3 year relationship because I found someone who was everything. I ended it because I grew up and finally understood who i was as a person, and took my chances. I took a leap, and i was too scared and naive to do so earlier in life because my relationship was holding me back. Sometimes it takes the worst things, to allow you to realize what you really need and want. I wasnt in the same mind that my x was in, and that led me to cheating. It wasnt a good thing, and it wasnt bad. It was just cheating. Just like breaking up is breaking up.
Symphonee Symphonee 8 years
It's not good or bad, like it was stated it just is. Every so called bad thing in life can have something good come out from it and vice versa. I have been on both ends of the cheating spectrum and it sucked both ways. I have heard "It wasn't you it was me" before I hated him at the time for saying it but after a few months I got it and I was happy because obviously he wasn't in the same place that I was. I wished he would have told me first but knowing me at the time I wouldn't have gone done without a fight. I am happy that he broke it off not completely happy with how he did it though. I am a better woman because I learned how to forgive him for not being perfect because of the whole cheating thing. I also forgave myself because I was too dumb to step off the train tracks when I saw the signs that it was coming.
jazzytummy jazzytummy 8 years
I think if you don't feel guilty about cheating in your relationship, it's not much of a relationship to begin with, so why are you even bothering with it? I don't get that. I also don't buy the "it's not right, it's not wrong, it is what it is". I guess you can use that to justify your behavior if YOU are the cheater, but let's see what happens when someone you adore cheats on you....I am sure his excuse of "it is what it is" will go down real smoothly. I think if you are "growing and changing as a woman", and your relationship is not fitting your needs anymore, fine, end it like an adult. Cheating on someone and saying it's ok because you experienced "personal growth" is a cop out. Be an adult and end it before screwing someone else. I do agree though that at any given time, anyone can cheat, so never say never. I certainly have been close myself, so am no saint, but at least I own it and know it was wrong.
Vaadsfweytes Vaadsfweytes 8 years
It depends on the relationship. If I'm not so serious about the guy I'm with, I wouldn't feel guilty about 'cheating'. In fact, I don't consider that cheating.
a1stbornunicorn a1stbornunicorn 8 years
well put, avantgardeology
avantgardeology avantgardeology 8 years
Everyone is saying no. and ya know what? 3 years ago, i said the SAME thing. and I have cheated on my xbf, 4 times. Does that make me less of a person? No. I never thought I would cheat. but i have, and its because i was growing and changing as a woman and as a person. Life throws you anything, and you have to learn how to deal with it. Sometimes that means hurting someone without meaning to. I didnt want to hurt him, but i did. It doesnt make me better or worse than anyone else. If you say you will never cheat, then thats good. but that can change at ANY GIVEN POINT IN TIME. so dont have too high expectations for yourself, that you cant keep sometimes. because we are human, we make mistakes, but we grow and learn. We learn to understand what is valuable to us. Its not right its not wrong, it is, what it is.
lauraxtc lauraxtc 8 years
clareberrys clareberrys 8 years
Yes, I have. I was 17 and it was at the beginning of college. I would like to tell my story too. I had dated my high school sweetheart for almost 2 years when he broke up with me during his freshman year at college. I was a senior in high school. I was so torn because I was so in love with him and thought we were going to be together for a really long time - it came out of nowhere. Then he didn't talk to me for months on end and when he would come home he would call me up and use me emotionally and physically. Then about 7 months after we had broken up and had barely talked, we saw each other at a BBQ. He promised me he would be different and I was naive so I got back together with him. Then 1 month later I went to college and immediately fell in love with someone. I didn't know how to break off the relationship with my HS boyfriend so I was basically seeing them both at the same time. The college guy knew about my HS boyfriend but my HS bf did not know about the other guy. After about a month of this I broke up with my boyfriend. I felt awful about the whole thing and for a while I beat myself up that I was a bad person for doing it, but a while later I realized that people make mistakes and it was the thing that helped me get out of a bad relationship, so I cannot regret it 100%. I am now in a loving, committed, mutually caring relationship and feel happy - to the point where I don't need to look elsewhere for love and support. I hope that any woman that has cheated doesn't bring herself down for it. It happens. it sucks, but it's life
geebers geebers 8 years
No and I never intend to either. I am very much against cheating. And if I wanted to cheat- I know it means time for a talk or time to end things.
RockAndRepublic RockAndRepublic 8 years
Nope! Nor do i intend to either.
Symphonee Symphonee 8 years
Well I guess I'm a slut because I have twice. The first time I was young. My boyfriend had started to scare the crap out of me; saying that he would rather die than be without me and that he wanted us to run away together. I had told my best friend that I was done because he had already tried to kill himself a couple of times before and I didn't want to be around when he tried again. I had just started becoming friends with a new guy and we clicked. I told my boyfriend immediately and tried to break it off but he drug it on for another two weeks before I had just had enough. The second time I don't really count. My then bf had been very distant for about a month and a half. I had tried to keep everything going even after his ex trashed his house and new tv. I found out that he had taken a weekend trip out of state witout my knowledge a few weeks before. I turned on the tv one day and saw him partying at spring break in Miami. We lived in Savannah! I went out on a date with a co worker within two days. My ex didn't call me until 2 weeks after he had come back and we both decided to end things over dinner. I still keep in contact with him. My current bf knows about both times and he knows that I am a loyal person. He also knows that if I did I would call tell him right after it happened becuase I feel guilty about lying to people. Once a cheater, always a cheater does notalways applybecause I have not cheated since then and that was over five or six years ago. Not to mention I was already a half way out of the relationship when they both happened.
GScott86 GScott86 8 years
Temptation may be incredible, but there is ALWAYS a chance to resist it. Whatever you do in life is by choice. People choose to cheat, it just doesn't "happen."
omigosh omigosh 8 years
I have never cheated on anyone. A lot of people are saying they'll 'never' cheat. Well, that's what everybody thinks. You don't know how situations in your life will develop. It can happen to anyone that they can't resist the temptation...
L7amiguita L7amiguita 8 years
Nope, never have and never will. The guilt would kill me.
GScott86 GScott86 8 years
Nope. Not physical, not emotional, not ever. To me, it's not only about cheating on the person, but it's cheating on love itself.
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