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Dear Poll: Have You Ever Dated a Commitment Phobe?

In order to find the right guy, you often have to weed out a few bad seeds. And to make matters worse, sometimes you think you’ve found an absolutely great guy, but as time goes on, you realize that he’s completely afraid of commitment. Dating a commitment phobe can be very confusing — he’s great and he really loves you, but he doesn’t want the same future you do. Unless you’re willing to wait around forever, you might just be setting yourself up for heartache. So ladies, let's see how many of us have had to go through this before. Have you ever dated a commitment phobe?


Join The Conversation
bellegrl bellegrl 8 years
I think I might be involved with a long distance commitment phobe. We've seen each other a few times and have talked on the phone almost every day. We've known each other almost 3 months now and have changed our statuses on an internet social site to complicated and he's told me that he's never changed his status before. However, he keeps telling me he wants to do things to make me smile and make me happy, which he does by sending me YouTube clips that are really cute and romantic. But now that we've changed our statuses, there's been 2 times that he's been funny, it seems like he wants to fight, but then backs down. My best friend thinks that he's a commitment phobe, while my other friends think he's not. We haven't met either one of our friends, besides my best friend and her husband. Should I dump him or wait a few more weeks?
keiraz keiraz 9 years
loooool can't believe the percentage of YES!! TYPICAL guys huh ;-)
GlowingMoon GlowingMoon 9 years
I'm with Jude C. Every boyfriend I had proposed to me. I was not ready to be engaged. I was young -- I'm talking about high school, college, etc. Ironically, later in life, the man I truly wanted to marry dragged his feet about proposing. He said he wanted us to marry, and that I was The One for him, but he just didn't pop the question. Eventually, he did, and we're happily married now.
TFS TFS 9 years
emalove emalove 9 years
Yup and I got out of it ASAP.
autumnxrain autumnxrain 9 years
*points at me* It used to freak me out to even officially date someone. I wouldn't mind hanging out or something, but once the whole 'boyfriend and girlfriend' titles came up, I got super scared.
JaimeLeah526 JaimeLeah526 9 years
I actually haven't.
rpenner rpenner 9 years
I've always been the commitment phobe. I had to get over it if I didn't want to lose the guy I'm with now. It's been hard but I did it and he's totally worth it. Every once in awhile the old me trys to creep in but I am now able to shut her out.
TidalWave TidalWave 9 years
Where is the option, "I am one." I have ended all of my relationships because I am terrified of commitment but somehow get attracted to guys who have no fear of it whatsoever.
popgoestheworld popgoestheworld 9 years
I've always been the commitment phobe... I'm sure dating me sucks.
Lele777 Lele777 9 years
You should be asking this question to my husband. He thought I would be a run away bride.
LadyP LadyP 9 years
The guy I dated before I met my husband. I am so glad I don't have to deal with that anymore!
Silverlining10 Silverlining10 9 years
My current boyfriend was a commitment phobe at first. When we started dating, he hadn't dated anyone else and we were first years in college. He didn't plan past today. It made/makes sense, but now, things are completely different. He says seeing me around his family during the holidays made him realize he would like to continue this tradition for "years to come". It was sweet.
Stacey-Cakes Stacey-Cakes 9 years
Yup and so have all of my ex-boyfriends...
RockAndRepublic RockAndRepublic 9 years
Im too old to make excuses so i wont, im not going to waste my time with someone who doesn't even want to be with me. Self-esteem in tact.
heineken67 heineken67 9 years
Briefly. He didn't want to commit to even being a couple.
lindholmka lindholmka 9 years
Seeing one now, his excuse that we haven't made anything official is that we live 30 minutes away from each other...but I know the real reason! LAAMMMEE!!
mnp mnp 9 years
I just dumped one. Ugh. I realized that I'm only 23 but I wanted a commitment sooner or later. He sucked at thinking and planning past today.
rosey_y rosey_y 9 years
I haven't - in the past it was me, if anyone. I'm only 23 though, so I don't see any of it as commitment phobia as such, just more as dating some of the wrong people! If it's not right, it's not right - I can't help if they feel more strongly about me than I do about them. My best friend is going through this at the moment though. She's been with her successful, charismatic boyfriend for two years and she's only wanting more commitment but he's being elusive and slippery. It's frustrating for me watch - I don't think he can ever be what she needs him to be (which is fine if this is the case, but he has to let her know!!). She's amazing, drop dead gorgeous, sweet, smart, anything you could want, so I think that's why he's not running altogether. They're at a definite gridlock though and something needs to give! urban chic 101, I don't think dumping that guy necessarily makes you a commitment phobe - that should send any normal person in the opposite direction! Yikes.
aimeeb aimeeb 9 years
I think we all have at some point.
mswindang mswindang 9 years
i've had that, after 18 months of undefined dating, i ended it. too much energy and time invested on NOTHING!
iamangiepooh iamangiepooh 9 years
Lol Sydney C! I've done that before (the emoticon thing). I am in that predicament with my boyfriend. He says he does eventually want to get married in the future, but I get the vibe that he's afraid to commit. I'm still young though so I'm not in a big rush to get married, but if he asked me, I would definitely say yes without hesitation.
LaLa0428 LaLa0428 9 years
I am the commitment phobe in all my relationships.
Sydney-C Sydney-C 9 years
Uh, what is with my emoticon thingie? I thought it was supposed to be 'annoyed' but apparently it is walking like an Egyptian???
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