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Dear Poll: Have You Ever Said I Love You Without Meaning It?

Saying I love you is a serious step in a relationship and one I don’t think that most people take lightly. But love is not easily defined, and it’s not uncommon for feelings of lust or fascination to be misconstrued as love. And sometimes saying I love you is easier than admitting that you’re not sure how you feel. No matter what the case, those three little words can be complicated, so tell me, have you ever said I love you only to realize you didn’t actually feel it at all?


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calli-gurl calli-gurl 8 years
marni i know what u mean. im in that situation now. lol. i did tell my first dude that i loved him. i thought i felt love for him but later realized that it was a crush
i still say it and i'm still not sure if i mean it. but not with a boyfriend...with my stepdad.
Autumns_Elegy Autumns_Elegy 8 years
I told me ex I loved him, I didn't love him in the way I thought I did though, it was more of a very close friendship instead of a "forever and always" sort of relationship. Not the smartest thing I've done but at least he knew I cared.
bransugar79 bransugar79 9 years
I actually said it once to a guy I was infatuated with we had been talking for a few weeks and he said he thought he was falling in love with me and so I said I thought I was too because I freaked and I was nervous. Other than that I've only said it to my husband and I totally mean it
Anniina Anniina 9 years
well yes, when I was 12..
melda melda 9 years
yes i used to.. when i was younger and well had no idea about how important is that.
lilwildone1202 lilwildone1202 9 years
no=now. i need my coffee
lilwildone1202 lilwildone1202 9 years
ive said it and meant it at the time but hindsight shows that the other guys i thought i loved it was infatuation... or puppy love etc not real soul shaking love like i have no. i cant look back on them and think wow i really loved them cause.. well i didnt haha. but at the *time* i thought i did
GlowingMoon GlowingMoon 9 years
Nope, never. If memory serves me correctly, the only man I said that to was my now-husband. I've had relationships before, but I don't think I uttered those words to those men. When they said it to me, I think I smiled and leaned in for a kiss. I think they presumed I felt the same way by my affectionate behavior, but I didn't. I just thought they were being sweet, and so I kissed them. Now I'm embarrassed. :)
sparklestar sparklestar 9 years
The last guy I dated before my boyfriend... he was a rebound... I knew it in the back of my mind that I didn't love him but he pressured me to say it. Weird.
candace87 candace87 9 years
When I was younger I used to say it every time I had a "boyfriend" for the day:P but I think thats pretty common.. but in a serious way? I realized after that I didn't really mean it.
ilanac13 ilanac13 9 years
i don't think that i've ever said it when i didn't mean it at the time, but i think that i've realized after the fact that maybe i didn't mean it in the same way. i don't like to say those words often since they just become words - and i wonder if maybe it's kind of because of that.
Mesayme Mesayme 9 years
I always said it and I always meant it. It's very easy for me to love someone worth dating. But I think it depends on how lightly you take dating. I've never dated (other than group dates) any man only once or a few times. I guess I can't relate because all of my relationships were long-term or marriage. And if I say I 'love' him, it doesn't mean I want to have sex with or marry him. I mean that I care for him and want to be loving to him. So it really boils down to what you specifically mean. Love is a verb for me, not an adjective.
CYL CYL 9 years
my ex told me he loved me after dating me for a month and a half. I didn't want to hurt his feelings so I said it wasn't until about 6 or 7 months in that i felt it.
thelorax thelorax 9 years
I've only said it twice, once to my high school sweetheart (that was puppy love) and now to my husband. The ones in between were just bumps in the road, haha. It's hard not to say it back when someone says it to you, but it's too serious an expression not to express your true feelings.
JaimeLeah526 JaimeLeah526 9 years
I did and then I had to tell him that I didn't really think I did and he cried and was stuttering and snotting up. I felt so bad and it did make me come closer to loving him but he didn't want anything to do with me after that. OOPS.
skigurl skigurl 9 years
now that i know what true love it, i realize i didn't "love" the 2 boyfriends i had in highschool...but at the time i did mean it, and i think there are various types of was my first love...the other i did love, in his own way....but i think the man i'll marry will be my one true love....i think you can love a lot of people different ways, so i don't regret saying it when i was younger
javsmav javsmav 9 years
I once wrote it in a drunk email to this guy I had a huge crush on. We were casually dating & it was ending--it was a desperate (& embarrassing) move! But other than that, I've always meant it. I used to be really weird about it in college--like how can we define love and know what that really means. I never said it back to my college boyfriend when he said it to me. That taught him to date a philosophy major.
austerity austerity 9 years
Yes I have...when you're in the moment, and enjoying happy times together, it's easy for those beautiful words to slip past your lips. So I've been guilty of it once. Later, I realized the impact my words had had on him and I really regretted it when I had to tell him later I wasn't sure. I sure feel like a dimwit for this :(
ktownpolarbear ktownpolarbear 9 years
i felt pressured into saying it and i didn't mean it. later on, i did love him, but i think now that i reflect upon it, it definitely wasn't head over heels type of love.
Shopaholichunny Shopaholichunny 9 years
:oops: Guilty. I did it with my ex. But, now when I say it to my current boyfriend I really MEAN it. :love: :)
popgoestheworld popgoestheworld 9 years
I used to mistake "oh my god I'm so in love with you" type infatuation for true love. But at the time I meant what I said. I wouldn't say it if I didn't at least think I meant it :)
psychobabble psychobabble 9 years
When I was younger, I told every guy I dated I loved them! It sounds horrible now, but I've always had long term relationships (for high school at least). I thought I loved them, but I didn't realize I was wrong until I finally told my last boyfriend (now husband) that I loved him and it felt completely different. He said it first, and for the first time I waited about a month before I said it back.
princess_eab princess_eab 9 years
It's awful to say, but I did with my ex. He told me like 3 weeks in when we were both slightly tipsy. I couldn't answer and had to think it over. He got very upset and sort of bullied me. I gave in and said it to stop the conflict. I feel rotten about it, but I did come to really love him, so...
Marni7 Marni7 9 years
hmm im not a very sentimental person..most days when I actually say I love you I usually mean it..of course saying "I love you" to someone you love but are not in love with can be may mean it but not exactly in that way..hmm..i dont know if I am making it 5 yet????????
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